Jeff Foxworthy on Colorado

    • Gold Top Dog

    Jeff Foxworthy on Colorado

    If you live or have ever lived in Colorado, you will appreciate this.
     
    You are a Coloradoan if ...........

    1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.

    2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
     
    3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.

    4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.
     
    5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane.
     
    6. You're under the influence and able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.

    7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
     
    8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.
     
    9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snow suit.
     
    10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.
     
    11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards.
     
    12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.

    13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests get sick and ;pass out after having only 2 beers.
     
    14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
     
    15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
     
    16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and a bottle of Whiskey and not get a buzz.
     
    17. Your car insurance costs more than your car. 
     
    18. You have surge protectors on every outlet. 
     
    19. April showers bring May blizzards. 
     
    20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been. 
     
    21. You know what a 'Chinook' is. 
     
    22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is and you like them. 
     
    23. You know what a "fourteener" is. 
     
    24. ...But you don't know what a "turn signal" is. 
     
    25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does. 
     
    26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod. 
     
    27. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do. 
     
    28. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange. 
     
    29. Thunder has set off your car alarm. 
     
    30. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck. 
     
    31. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.

    32. Where we're going, we don't need roads!! 
     
    33. You know where the real "South Park" is. 
     
    34. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight. 
     
    35. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.' 
     
    36. You've 'checked for ticks' 
     
    37. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood. 
     
    38. You've gone snow skiing in July and......... 
     
    39. You've played golf in January and....... 
     
    40. They were in the same year! 
     
    41. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into both oceans. 
     
    42. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream. 
     
    43. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is. 
     
    44. You don't mind if the sink is always dripping and the cabinets are always open because you know you won't have busted/frozen pipes.


     



     
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    ROFL!!! Since the air base in Denver was our assignment before ths one, I laughed at all of those. The thunder one especially. Thunder is very different in Colorado. It just SMACKS off of the mountains. During our stay in Denver, whenever I went to visit my parents in Illinois, the rolling of the thunderstorms surprised me. My first time back there, had me looking for the airplane when a storm was coming.

    --Sara
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: probe1957

    7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.

     
    Did you say Casa Bonita? [:D]
     
    [linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-Flmf_9t0w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-Flmf_9t0w[/link]
     
    [linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF5F5AWz_J4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF5F5AWz_J4[/link]
    • Gold Top Dog
    You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.

     
    [sm=rotfl.gif]I AM DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OMG Billy this place is classic!!!!  Does it still exist???   ;PLEASE tell me it does!
     
    Wow...ALL of these are awesome! This is a wonderful thread... thanks for the great laughs and fantastic memories![8D]
    • Gold Top Dog
    Did you say Casa Bonita?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-Flmf_9t0w

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF5F5AWz_J4

     
    Espence...THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    [sm=rofl.gif] 
    OMG I am dying of laughter... I have not thought about that place in probably 15 years and YES it is the place for EVERY kids B-day party and to take all the out of town guests!!  The food (at least it use to be) was downright awful... and EVERYTHING is sticky with honey for pouring on the sopapilla#%92s.  The cave was my favorite place to eat if there wasn#%92t dinning right next to the cliff divers… I can still smell the humid air in that place when I think of it![8D]
    • Gold Top Dog
    As far as I know it still exists, Shel.  Believe it or not, the only time I was ever there was when I was entertaining someone from out of town.  And yes, the food sucks.
    • Gold Top Dog
    As far as I know it still exists, Shel. Believe it or not, the only time I was ever there was when I was entertaining someone from out of town. And yes, the food sucks.


    Next visit to Colorado to see Annika and Sloane you need to take them... Sloane of course is WAY too young but what a fun place for Annika to go with her Grandpa! [:D]
    • Gold Top Dog
    wow, this is great and so true! I would love to live in CO and if things go right I will go to CSU (for vet school)

    Yes, I have been to Casa Bonita and that was when I was visiting a relitive[:)]
    Oh and of course I know where the "real" South Park is, but I'm not telling...
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: Xebby

    I will go to CSU (for vet school)


     
    Hope you have better luck than my stepdaughter.  A 3.87 gpa and still can't get accepted.  Of course, that was expected since this is the first year she applied, but she was bummed.  She applied at the U of I and Purdue.
    • Gold Top Dog
    I only tell myself that is where I am going to go so I at least have some idea of where my life is headed, even if I have to be on the waiting list for 10 years I don't think I would mind if it means doing what I want to do. There is always my fall back, school in the caribians[:)]

    I just like CO almost more than any other state, thats also where my beardie is comming from[:D] This summer (if all goes alright with the breeding) I'm making a trip up there to pick up my beardie.