Dog Community

How do you deal...

Posted : 9/29/2006 12:33:16 PM

with people at work giving themselves more authority than they have?

Im at my wits end. There is this guy (older man) at work who is the computer programmer. Well since coming to this company he has this air of thinking he is boss of everyone. A few days after he started working, I was at my computer playing solitare during my lunch break. Well he made a big fuss on how I was playing around when I should be working, and blah blah. When I told him I was on my break he demanded to know what time I leave for lunch and verified at the main office.

Its always been like that, everything im doing, everyone that calls he wants to know what im doing, who sent me, why im on the phone etc, etc.

I deal with it fine, I dont really pay much attention but today everything just got to me.

Here is my routine: because I am the receptionist I have to be here while everyone goes out for lunch. So I have the option of going from 11-12 or from 1-2. I usually go from 1-2. Well today I decided to go at 11, and when I tell my office supervisor that Im leaving he goes 'Where are you going??? You cant go out for lunch at this time' So I explained to him what I just finished explaining above and he tells me 'Im going to have to speak to _____ (my boss) because you cant do that'

WTF?!?!?!

I dont want him trying to tell me what to do, I have been here longer and I mind my own business. How do I get him to back off without being rude?

karl osullivan

Posted : 9/29/2006 12:43:21 PM

Just tell him "im not asking you,im TELLING you, my lunch hour is between 11 and 12 today, if you want to ring my boss, go ahead.Generally if he is new hes not going to rock the boat, besides your doing nothing wrong so what do you have to fear???

mrstjohnson

Posted : 9/29/2006 12:49:05 PM

I dealt with a very similar situation. Can you talk to your boss about him? Not really complain, but ask him what his authority it.

For example, ask your boss today if you need to clear it with him before you go to lunch, if he says no, then ask him why XXX says you do. Verify that you just wanted to make sure that the rules didn't change and you weren't made aware of it.

Do this type of thing every time this guy tries to exert his "power" (or gather a bunch of examples together and do it once) . Eventually your boss will get the idea of what is going on and go to this guy to see what his problem is. If you act like you are just trying to follow the rules, and make clear everything you are doing is on the up and up, then you can't get into trouble.

Does that make sense?

forpaws

Posted : 9/29/2006 12:51:45 PM

Generally in a case like this when or should I say I have experienced a fellow employee being nosy, wanting to know who, what, when or why, I'm doing this or that is because you have stepped on his integrity or insulted his "as he preceives in his mind" intelligence and is trying to track your every move, so "he" can find some reason to get you fired or reprimanded.

I would not be rude or mean to him but what I would do is speak to the supervisor and have a three way meeting in the super's office to see what is this person's beef and to be briefed of what your job description is and or how it correlates to his position in this company.

It has been my experience this kind of behavior is predominantly shown in a work related which typically is "a mans job" Stero typing, yes. "What's a woman doing in a man's job" attitude.

It happened to me when I was in the Marine Corps in 1972. It happened to me when I was on the police force in 1992. Believe it or not this mentality is still very much well and alive. All because of some male fragile ego, NOT DISRESPECTING The guys on this forum, just sharing my experiences of past.

Julitza

Posted : 9/29/2006 12:55:16 PM

Thanks, I know I have nothing to fear but it is so ANNOYING I dont feel I have to report to him about anything, I have my office supervisor for that. My boss has told me quite clearly that any minor thing I should report to my office sup. if its something along the lines of not going to work the next day I call him up directly.

Its such a pain because sometimes i'll be talking on the phone with a client and he'll try to interrupt my conversation by asking me 'Who are you calling? Why are you calling?' I just turn the other way and concentrate on my call but I am not a rude person and I hate doing it even though he is the one being rude!

Mark

Posted : 9/29/2006 1:10:43 PM

I think a preemptive strike is in order..go to your boss and calmly state your concerns about this coworker.If he is acting like this with you,he probably wants to be you boss,and is probably allready talking to your real boss about you,and others...

Just rely on your work history and stay calm and rational.good luck and let us know how it turns out..

karl osullivan

Posted : 9/29/2006 1:19:18 PM

Im sorry if im asking you to be rude, but if this guy is only a coworker why not tell him to f*** off and mind his own buisness.Sometimes its the only langauge some people understand!!!

sharismom

Posted : 9/29/2006 1:45:32 PM

I would not be rude or mean to him but what I would do is speak to the supervisor and have a three way meeting in the super's office to see what is this person's beef and to be briefed of what your job description is and or how it correlates to his position in this company.

I would handle the situation as Angel suggested. While it might make you feel better momentarily to tell him to FOAD, the reality is you still have to work with the guy. If he is told by a male supervisor that he is not your boss, he may respect that and mind his own business from now on.

labcrab

Posted : 9/29/2006 1:47:51 PM

Okay, I'm just going to take WILD guess here that you are very attractive and he's a BIG nerd? I work with programmers and let's just say, they don't tend to have the best social skills. Many of them are BEYOND intimidated by an attractive woman and revert back to 3rd grade where in order to display affection to a girl... you kick her.

Anyway, I think mrstjohnson's advice is right on the money. Address it with your supervisor in a very matter-of-fact way, ask if the reporting structure has changed. Also, if he interrupts you on the phone again - tell him that you would appreciate it if he would refrain from interrupting you when you are speaking to clients. Tell him it's becoming problematic if he does it again. Bottom line is that you need to continue being professional and you should start talking to your supervisor about all of this...

cakana

Posted : 9/29/2006 1:51:25 PM

First off, my hats off to you for handling the job of a receptionist. I've never done it, but I know it's a difficult position and often means being chained to the desk and phone. I also think that everyone tends to think the receptionist works for "them", and that can be rough. I'd suggest discussing it first with your office supervisor and ask for her help. If she can't or won't help, then I'd go to your boss. You might suggest a meeting with your boss, the new person and yourself, just to clarify your role and who you report to. I find it really miserable to work with anyone I don't get along with, so I always try to deal with things on a really professional level. Sometimes it's not easy though, so I do feel for you.

probe1957

Posted : 9/29/2006 3:04:10 PM

I second all of the opinions that you should tell your supervisor what you have told us and let him/her handle it.

A few years back, I was a store manager for a fairly large tire retailler. My boss's secretary called me and was getting on me for something. After listening to her for a while and getting more irritated by the minute, I said, "Excuse me, if this conversation is going to occur at all, it needs to be between my boss and me, not between me and a secretary." I hadn't been with this company long and I should have known better. It wasn't long before my boss was on the phone explaining that, while I was technically right, pissing his secretary off probably wasn't ever going to be a good thing for me to do. [

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