Advice! Should I let my ex see our dying dog?

    • Puppy

    Advice! Should I let my ex see our dying dog?

    Hi.  This is likely going to be long and I thank you in advance for your opinions and thoughts, as my head is spinning right now.

    Back story - My ex and I were together 8 years and broke up in June.  We were great friends for 4 years before dating, so a 12 year investment.  We got a dog 5 years ago - the same day we got the keys to our first home we bought.  We were not married, but share(d) many things, including a home, money, two dogs, five cats, a business, friends, family and countless other things.

    The breakup was sudden and stark...  He walked in the door 5 days after I had thrown him a bday party and just said - it's over and I don't want to talk about anything.  He left a few minutes later and then moved out.  I found out a month later that of course there was another girl (who was 9 years younger, lived around the block - who he worked with and is still involved with).

    Over the course of the breakup, he has said very, very hurtful things - including, "I don't care if Brynleigh (our dog who has medical problems) is on her deathbed, do not contact me."  

    Well, now that time is here...  She is on her deathbed.  I haven't contacted him.  But, he's found out about her medical standing from his parents (I'm still close with them) and now he has emailed me with this, "If she ends up getting put down, I would like to be able to see her one last time.  Please."

    Now, I personally don't think he "deserves" to see her - he said a lot of nasty, hurtful things that he hasn't apologized for...  But, my parents and some of my friends feel that if I don't let him see her, that I will end up feeling guilty.  

    Opinions and thoughts are appreciated.  Thank you for your support and time.  I have not replied to his email, as the last thing I need right now is an email war with him.  I am really in need of some insight, unbiased thoughts from people who do not know us.  

    "In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." - Buddha

    • Gold Top Dog

    My opinion is you should let him see her.  Don't do it because you don't want to feel guilty.  Read your signature and let that guide you.  Holding him away from her will not change what happened between you but allowing him to see her before she passes may help you heal from the hurt he caused you.

    I hope Brynleigh's passing, when it happens, is peaceful and the days you have left with her are filled with love and the memories of the good times you all shared.  

    • Gold Top Dog

    Well said, Jackie.  I totally agree.

    No matter what happened in the past, Brynleigh loves him as she does you.  Do this for HER sake.

    And, may her pacing be peaceful and the remaining days special.

    • Gold Top Dog

    I agree with the above.  It's not about the two of you.  Its about Brynleigh.

    This may give you  a bit of closure as well so that you can move on with your life.  Who knows, the break up may lead to you being on the threshold of something wonderful in the future.  After the ending of a 25 year marriage, I met and married my absolute soul mate.  

    • Gold Top Dog

    Just checking in to see how you and your Brynlee are doing.