2013 Secret Santa

Is there any way we can put a no newby rule? I hate to sound like a scrooge, but last year I got someone that had been a forum member for a week, added a dog after signing up, and disappeared shortly after SS. I'd rather buy for someone that's been around for a while.

I think we discussed the "limit" last year... i.e. most people go over. Of course you don't have to, but I think most people spend $20-25, probably less for multiples. I know the first year I felt like a *** because I stayed within the limit but received a huge box from someone who had obviously gone over the limit.

Yep.  You are absolutely right.  What do you think?  A six month or one year minimum?

I don't have a dog in this race but if you're going to exclude newbies because they might sign up and then disappear, why not exclude long time members who are never active but sign up and disappear again?

Jackie, I am open to all suggestions.  In the very beginning we had a time limit for folks to sign up, but that was before I started coordinating it and I don't remember what the time was.  If you have specific members in mind, you're welcome to email me privately with names.

My point is that if you start excluding people based on what they might do because one or two did something that annoyed someone else, you're heading down a slippery slope.

There will always be people who don't live up to expectations in some way.  People that mail late, people that don't respond to requests, people who don't acknowledge receipt of their gift, etc.  Sort of like real life people. :)

In my opinion, the solution for those who get annoyed at the rude behavior of others is to not participate themselves to avoid being annoyed. :)

As I said, I don't have a dog in this race.  I don't do Secret Santa anymore.  I get annoyed too easily.

I don't think its fair for me to make the decision, so I'll leave it open for discussion.  Perhaps, if you have someone particular that you don't want to SS for, you can indicate that to me privately.  That's happened a lot in the past and we've always found a work-around.

Secret Santa isn't about me, nor is it about my rules.  I simply try to provide the opportunity and do the matching but the point is that SS is for the people of the forum, so they should have some input.

Wow. Ok then. Count me out this year.

I am automatically excluded because I don't have a dog. I'm okay with that.

IMHO, if a person is coordinating something, then he/she has to set some sort of guidelines. Coordinating implies responsibility. Otherwise, everyone could just list their dogs and other info and then other members would randomly pick someone to send to. Sure, people would be left out and some would receive multiple gifts. You really can't have it both ways.

Since the forum changeover, so many people have not returned, I don't see it being very successful this year. Just my 0.02.

I was referring to you agreeing with jano that participation should be limited to members that have been here a certain length of time.  It seems sort of ludicrous to me to assume that someone would become a member for the sole purpose of getting a gift in the Secret Santa.  Even if someone did that, is it really that big a deal?

There are very few newbies who stick around.  We don't know why but making a group event like Secret Santa open only to some members seems to be a sure way to drive newbies away forever.

We also have many members who joined because of the AIHA thread.  They came for help and support.  They rarely participate in any other area of the forum.  Should that be a reason to exclude them if they chose to participate in SS? 

@glenmar

the point is that SS is for the people of the forum, so they should have some input.

That's exactly my point. ^^ Secret Santa is supposed to be for all members not just for those who have been here a certain amount of time. 

It's nice of you to organize Secret Santa, Glenda.  I know you work with people to try and make everyone happy.  You've done it for me in the past. I'm not criticizing you personally or jano.  I know Callie expressed a similar sentiment at one point. 

I get that some people seem to lack social skills or whatever it is that makes them to come and go with hardly a word. I understand the reason people get annoyed. I get annoyed at people who ask for advice and then never respond with any feedback.  I try and remind myself that sometimes life events, that we don't know anything about, could be the reason.  People come and go on forums.  They get ill or they move or they dislike something or they get involved in another forum they like better. 

OK, climbing off my soap box for now. 

For 5-6 years, I didn't participate in Secret Santa because, like Tina, I didn't have a dog.  Last year I finally participated, and while it was lots of fun, I can see all the points mentioned by Jan, Jackie, Callie, etc.  There does seem to be a fairness issue, yet at the same time, we can't really expect all people to behave the same way in a large group, so there will always be a mix of good and not-so-good behavior.

Also like Tina, I was wondering if SS this year would be as successful.  Since the new forum changeover, there are only about 10 or 12 of us who are posting fairly regularly.   I don't know if some of the other "old iDoggers" will ever come back here or if lots of new ones will become regular posters in time, etc..  But with things in transition right now, maybe a pause is a good option.

Here's a random suggestion:  how about waiting to see where activity levels are after things are out of "Beta" (or whatever it's called).  Maybe by Valentine's Day we'll have a better idea of how many members there are.  I'd think a gift exchange would be more fun with more participants since there's more of an element of surprise, I guess.  We could consider a Valentine's Day exchange or a Happy Spring exchange maybe?  

Oh, I forgot to say that this reminded me of similar Secret Santa issues we had when I was in college and we did SS in our dorms.  SS lasted for a week prior to the last day of the term for Christmas break.  Each person gave her SS a treat or gift as frequently as she wanted during that week (leaving things in their mailboxes in the student union).  Then the dorm would have a party just before the term ended, and we did a larger gift exchange where each SS revealed herself to her match.

All a fun idea, but inevitably, there would be people who handled it in one extreme or another.  You might have a SS who showered you with loads of treats and little gifts all week, or you might have one who gave you a couple candy bars.  Despite guidelines that were set, some people were just more enthusiastic (and had larger budgets than many of us!).  It often felt kind of like a competition, especially since the "reveal" happened in person.  

My point is that the fairness thing is always going to be an issue, I think.  I'm not sure how it could be prevented; it's part of human nature.  

OK, here's the thing.  Those who WANT to do SS, please sign up, and we'll deal with any issues you have regarding newbies.  If you don't want to participate, don't sign up.

If only a handful sign up, fine, or if 100 sign up, fine.  I don't care one way or another, this is just something I've coordinated for a number of years and its come to be expected.

Me and the boys are in!  We love Secret Santa, they get soooo excited when the box arrives.  It is really the only box that comes in the mail for them and somehow they always know it is theirs.   We make a big deal about it and I love shopping for the others. 

I was a newbie once and didnt participate our 1st year but have ever since and we just think it's fun.

Yipeeee!  And, my goodness, your boys write very polite SS lists!