Dog Community

Mother-in-law Trouble

inne

Posted : 6/20/2006 10:23:17 PM

My mother in law is generally wonderful and I love her, but she shows her affection for Louise by giving her completely inappropriate treats. Today she gave her Doritos and then let her lick the crumbs off her hands. It's not even so much the junk food (although that isn't good either), it's that we've been so adamant about teaching her not to beg and this undermines it. I was sitting right there and telling her not to let Louise have any and she does it anyway right in front of me. I'm not comfortable enough with her to say anything except "you really shouldn't do that," but my husband is going to talk to her more about it. It's just so frustrating! I've given her a bag of healthy treats to keep at their house to avoid situations like this and it obviously isn't working. (and this is so the least of our worries - in the beginning we had to explain why it's not okay to tap Louise on the nose if she gets mouthy and why it's not cool to keep dogs locked in garages all day)

This is really just a vent, but has anyone else had to deal with people totally not getting how to treat dogs?

cavowner

Posted : 6/20/2006 11:08:02 PM

You could leave pup at home when visiting them. Other wise teaching your dog to refuse all treats from everyone but yourself isn't that difficult. Keeps them bait safe which isn't a bad idea.

You are actually very lucky that your dog is welcome in their home as frustrating as inappropriate treats are. Tapping a mouthy pup on the nose is fairly normal and if it's her hand that's getting chewed it's probably her call. The nose tap would be an automatic reflex around here :-)

Keeping your dog under 100% control is your responsibility...... she shouldn't be chewing up MIL.

My Son & Daughter in Law arrived to stay overnight with their Goldie and GSD. The dogs stayed in the attached garage / laundry area. We have an off lead park next door which was used regularly. We have a small house that suits the two of us and is also the reason we have a Cavalier and not a bigger dog..

Sorry, not much sympathy, just another point of view.

inne

Posted : 6/20/2006 11:19:27 PM

I don't agree with any physical punishment at all (nose tapping). 12 week old puppies, which is when this was happening, are going to be mouthy and it's just impossible to have it completely under control. It's frustrating when you give explicit, effective instructions on how to handle the inevitable and then they are ignored.

I can understand your point of view in your situation, but keeping a puppy in a boiling hot garage with no windows and oil all over the floor and dangerous chemicals on shelves (which is the situation here) just isn't okay. In the end, it's more about the frustration of not feeling like she listens to me and sadness that this will probably lead to her not being as involved as we would both like her to be.

How do you train dogs to refuse treats from others?

loveukaykay

Posted : 6/20/2006 11:29:10 PM

My parents dog is generally well behaved but she begs like none other... she will growl and cry and talk to you while you eat, if you get up she'll jump in your chair and eat off the table. The worst they do is Minnie get down. My dad constantly feeds her from the table. Not only is she fat now but she BEGS!

Kayla never did this as we had already taught her better, but Bailey is starting to beg cause they do the same to her... its very annoying.

Julie Byers

Posted : 6/21/2006 12:54:39 AM

I think at the point I saw a dorrito or some other treat you didn't want the pup to have comming towards your dog's muzzle, I would jump up abruptly and lead the dog away to another location and give a 'mock' scold to the dog for naughty snacking. If you feel strong enough to tell MIL please don't feed that to the dog, then don't be prepared to take a bit of heat for insisting she follow your request. It will be a safe bet that when it's not sneaking treats to the dog, it will be sneaking inappropriate treats to the kids too. You are right to have hubby deal with her. Are you sending a mixed message? You may have to clarify with "I'm sorry, I was serious when I mentioned no junk foods, and please don't encourage begging. Thanks, Mom I know you can appreciate that."
I know it's a sticky situation so good luck on it. Jules

inne

Posted : 6/21/2006 11:39:59 AM

Thanks, Jules. I should have stopped it. Hopefully she'll listen to my husband. This is my first conflict with her and MIL conflict can be so intimidating!

huskymom

Posted : 6/21/2006 12:21:40 PM

I know how you feel. When Crusher was little, MIL used to waggle her finger in front of his nose when he got mouthy. Of course this just excited him more. She would say nononononono in baby talk. He would go crazy. He still won't really settle down when she is around. And FIL would feed him anything he was eating. When we were out at their house for a weekend in the summer FIL was fanatic about Crusher pooping on the lawn. When he was small he had a very sensitive tummy and would get the runs at the slightest change in his diet. So when FIL was feeding him junk his tummy did some quick tricks and FIL got a lawnfull. I was soo pissed. And guess who had to clean it up?

Terri

Posted : 6/21/2006 8:00:08 PM

This is non-MIL related, but along the same lines as the thread. A good friend of mine does not like big dogs--she has a daschund. He's little and yappy (don't get me wrong, I love the little guy), but she has never been able to stand Loki's barking. Whenever she would come over, he would run to the door, jump on her and bark. Of course, I would be annoyed at that behavior when coming to someone's house too, but he was a puppy and we were trying to train him not to do that. Just as soon as I'd get him calmed down and quiet, my friend would start squeaking at him, playing rough with him and getting him all riled up again. And then she'd get annoyed when he was barking! I was so frustrated, because when I'd tell her that she was the one getting him worked up, she would blame me for not having my dog trained better. Sadly, it eventually led to her not coming over as often. You have to do what is best for your dog and having other people undermine your training techniques, especially early on, can be detrimental.