Dilemna...

huskymom

I don't think its horrible if he's in the same head space. OTOH if he's rebounding, both of you could end up really hurt by something you deem casual. IMO hookups are best left to people with no emotional history. That's just me though.

I agree with this.

 

 Nope I don't think its horrible either.  I had a couple of those after my ex and I split.  And actually that's all I was looking for when FH and I got together.  He and his wife had just split and we figured we'd go out and have some fun, just for some change of pace.  Somewhere along the line it changed into something more serious, but its not what either of us was looking for in the beginning.

tiffy

To be blunt, I'm looking for a "hook-up". Is that horrible?

I think I know where you're going - is there a moral code broken if he's not really divorced yet.  And I think it's a good question.  My personal moral compass may be different than others, but my requirement would be for the divorce to be legit - not just words, like the situation Courtney described.  Although, to be honest, if this did progress into something more than a hook-up, it's tough.  I started dating a guy I fell in love with when he was recently separated from his wife with an infant child, but "he couldn't afford to file the papers yet".  She did live in another state with their child, so I thought it was legit.  He hated her guts and had nasty things to say about her.  But that didn't stop him from sleeping with her when he drove there to visit his child.  Just sayin'.  But whatever happens, I wouldn't do it if I had doubts or didn't feel comfortable with it - things can't be un-done, but they can wait to be done.