Dog Community

Need some serious advise

Posted : 3/9/2010 10:34:24 PM

So in 2008 me and my two sister's went to bklyn, well my oldest sister disappeared in the middle of the night and my younger sister woke me up worried about where she was at. I told my sister call her she said she did she called her cell phone over 30 times I said I don't know where she could be at but then me and my sister knew, she must of went and seen her ex husband, my older sister is married with 3 kids. Now the day we we're leaving bklyn we we're going to the old neighborhood and we're on the train and the stop we had to get off of my older sister didn't get off with us and said she had to go some place. We we're pissed we think we know where she was headed. We didn't say nothing but wanted to.

Anyway last summer me & my older sister were out walking her cellphone rang and she's talking but I hear who's on the other end and I just turned and looked at her I didn't say anything and as we walk she continued to talk to him but she also lowered the volume because she knew I knew who it was. Its been bothering me and recently I caught her again talking to him and one day we were at the mall with the kids and her phone kept ringing and ringing I said you know ur cellphone is ringing she says oh yea It was her ex husband she knows I know but she won't say anything.

Well she calls my mom to say can she pick the kids from school on friday my mom say yea why? Oh I'm going out of town my mom says where to? Out of town I need to get away. Well she comes to my house to use my printer and before she gets in she says something I make a smart comment she took off, I called her cellphone she didn't pick up and told her off.

My sister was suppose to drive to bklyn in April with the kids well change of plans she's going alone leaving friday, since she was driving and her husband wasn't going because of work my father kept telling her to bring me and she said no and sometimes didn't say anything. I know why she doesn't want me to go its because she knows I know what she's doing.

Well my younger sister calls me tonight to tell me what was going on and she's going to meet her ex we both know this and her ex isn't a good guy either and all I can think of is what if he does something to her harms her kidnaps her so on and so on then I gotta tell her husband who by the way thinks that when my sister and I go out that I get all these men LOL which I don't and wouldn't, Anyway I really wanna say something to my sister.

My sister has a temper which I do as well so I know if I don't say it right hell even if I said it right it might end up with us fist fighting, my sister has emotional problems as do I but she's gotta be bipolar she needs serious mental help her daughter is becoming just like her. We take after our father we have his temper and attitude.

What do I do? Do I keep my mouth shut? She is ruining her life and her kids life and her husband. Her husband isn't a bad guy not to thrilled about him but he does right by her and their kids I mean he works and he'll come home and help her clean or cook and take care of the yard and fix things.

Do I have the right to say something? Or do I wait for something bad to say something I don't know I just wanna knock my sister in the head, her husband will blame me for this I know it already my mom knows he will put some of the blame on, my younger sister knows this also. WOW I just don't know what to do. I don't know what she's thinking.

BEVOLASVEGAS

Posted : 3/9/2010 11:57:18 PM

If it were me, I would mind my own business. I wouldn't feel like it would be my position to interfere with someone else's marriage. Especially when you're working off of second hand information, & assumptions.

For me, I would just hope that my sister had thought things through, & understood the risks involved.

Your mileage may vary...

daisyprincess

Posted : 3/10/2010 12:27:37 AM

I'm worried about her, she's not thinking. I feel guilty knowing what I know.

BEVOLASVEGAS

Posted : 3/10/2010 12:43:30 AM

If you are worried about her, then talk to her. Tell her that you are worried about her, & that you aren't sure that she's thinking things through completely. When she gets upset, which she will, you need to control yourself. Tell her, calmly in an even tone, that you just wanted her to know that you were worried, & that you love her. Then walk away before the situation escalates.

Obviously, you know that it may escalate into a fight. If you want to talk to her, you need to go in knowing that you are going to have to be the bigger person, & walk away if you need to.

daisyprincess

Posted : 3/10/2010 1:02:30 AM

Thanks, I don't want her to ruin her life. My younger sister is worried as well. It's just one of those situation you wish you didn't know anything. Right now she's not talking to me because of what happened yesterday. I mean my mom was at the house using the computer to do her workman's comp and when my sister pulled up I was outside she already had a attitude and said oh I need you to print something for me I said well moms on my computer right now and she says well she's gonna get off.

I said no she's doing something so you'll have to wait I said she's doing her workman's comp she turned back around got into her car took off. Which then pissed me off, like I have my own attitude don't need her's I'm one that doesn't take someone's crap and I don't keep in what I have to say well must of the time so when I called her and left her message I told her once again mom had something important to do and if she would have waited a few minutes she would of been done but I told her she took off like a spoiled brat and I'm not gonna give into to her demands.

Thing is its like everyone walks on eggshells with her because we never know whats she's gonna get mad. My father still babies her she'll be 35 this may time to grow up not everyone is gonna take her crap and I'm just sick of it. I love my sister to death and would do anything for her but what she's doing is wrong and the end result for her is gonna be bad.

Sometimes I wish her & I we're softies like my mom. Thanks again Bevo

the_gopher

Posted : 3/10/2010 8:09:04 AM

I've been in a situation in which someone close to me was ruining their life/making obvious (to me) bad decisions...and heck I've even been the person making bad decisions...repeatedly. I've told such close people that I love them, it's their choice but I'm worried and I'm here if they need me. I leave it at that. It's not my place to tell someone they are making the wrong choice. It's also typically the surest fire way to push them even further in that direction. I know when I've been told I shouldn't do such and such or should see a particular person, I felt defensive, pissed off and regardless if ultimately they were right, I didn't appreciate feeling like I wasn't allowed or able to make my own decisions..and my own mistakes.

We never want to see the ones we love hurt or in danger, but ultimately it is their life and choices to make.

sharismom

Posted : 3/10/2010 11:03:49 AM

the_gopher

We never want to see the ones we love hurt or in danger, but ultimately it is their life and choices to make.

Yes, this is true. You have to live and let live. Nobody teaches life better than experience. You can offer her love, but there is nothing you can do to control her.