Prayers for Gracie the Ancient RR and Her Owners

 I'm so sorry. I know how hard this decision is for you. I recently made it myself. *hugs*

Agnes -- just talk to her.  ASK her -- ask her to let you know.  She *knows* how much you love her.  I don't think we EVER need to doubt that.  Tell her about the upcoming weekend.  But also remind her that she HAS friends at the Bridge -- Jasmine among them.  And that if she's just plain "done" here that's ok with you and you ****WILL**** be ok with-out her.

Often that's the only thing that holds them back.  Tell her it's fine if she just plain wants to pass on her own.  I honestly think sometimes they DO have a choice -- it's that strength of will that keeps them waking up in the morning, particularly if they think they are "irreplaceable" -- if they think THEY, personally, have to take care of us.

Try not to grieve prematurely.  That will only upset HER and make her think you *need* her to stay even more. 

I don't mean to sound callous about this ... not at all. But I do truly think dogs are SO much better at this than we are.  But they pick up on our emotional baggage so easily. 

The morning I let Foxy go, it was SO abundantly clear he was ***DONE***.  He wasn't interested in getting up, wouldn't stand up to pee, would NOT take water.  He told me with every little sheltie whisker he was DONE. 

And then I took him to the vet chattering every inch of the way about "Remember to find Priss FIRST ... and ... Polly will be there, and Muffin the Intrepid and and and ..."

Foxy KNEW all those dogs were dead ... he sniffed every single one after they passed.  He GOT it. 

Now afterward?  Agnes I was a mess.  19 years I had that boy.  and to this DAY, 3 years later, I still think I see that little Mostlie Sheltie herding me in the background.  I was all sweetness and "encouragement" when I took him to the vet.  That night?? I puked my guts out.  Just from sheer stress. 

We humans aren't pretty when we grieve.  But we DO love very deeply, don't we?

((((**HUGS**))))

 I'm so sorry.  It's a hard choice, but the choice is this: her in pain, or you in pain?  I agree with Callie about grieving prematurely...  Make her last days full of love and happiness and save grieving for the proper time.  Sending strong and peaceful vibes from over the pond.

Yes, thank you for the advice.  I am still crying, but maybe going 10 minutes between tears. Not the most productive day at work I've had. But it looks like I am typing or reading documents.

I was prematurely grieving last summer. I was also mistakenly factoring MY convenience instead of growing up and focusing on what Gracie wants and needs. Bonita "helped" me correct my attitude and Gracie had several more good months.

I spoke to my husband this morning. At first, he was all "no, it is not yet time". Gracie obligingly walked by, slipping and sliding, and barely making it out the dog door. He conceded her quality of life is poor. I very much want her last day be a day that the kids are at daycare, and to have the vet (Dr. Rose) that has been so wonderful with Gracie and also with the last 2 rescues I have had to let go to the Bridge.

Sam and Mouse in a way were easier. Sam's colon got blocked by a tumor that was diagnosed a week earlier. He was in extreme pain the last day. Mouse had surgery on her spleen that was bleeding from a malignant tumor. He developed pneumonia in her lungs (that had a large inoperable tumor on the side near her heart). She stopped breathing on her own and was intubated.

Gracie is slowly fading. I have learned so much these past few months.  I am praying for her comfort, not for her to "recover" and chase squirrels again.  I have spent many nights sleepin on the floor by her bed so we can cuddle like we did when she was young and able/willing to sleep on my bed. But too, it is hard when the younger dog "steals" the comfy bed, leaving her one of two nearby auxiliary beds (that are not in a quiet corner like the coveted one. Catherine is 100 pounds and almost impossible to move. She also has PTSD and will pee if dragged.  Gracie will not tolerate being fenced into her coveted area.

Thanks for your thoughts.  I know many of you have been there. I am a mess right now but will force myself to support and cheer up Gracie tonight like she has so many times.

Agnes

 I'm so sorry.

Agnes L.

Thanks for your thoughts.  I know many of you have been there. I am a mess right now but will force myself to support and cheer up Gracie tonight like she has so many times.

  I can't add to Callie's excellent advice, but wanted to give you many, many {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}.

One of our other members recently had to help her RR over to the Bridge. This song signified the spirit of her dog as they went to one last RR event where she enjoyed everything and lived to the fullest. This song is also for you.

"Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mHaFMqde6A

I can tell from your words that Gracie has a special place in your heart. And she will always have a place there. And, BTW, the Rainbow Bridge is real. Trust me. And she will see you again when it is your time.

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Let her know you are ready to be without her, if she is ready to leave. Be thankful for your chance to say goodbye, and, talk to her.

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

ron2

One of our other members recently had to help her RR over to the Bridge. This song signified the spirit of her dog as they went to one last RR event where she enjoyed everything and lived to the fullest. This song is also for you.

"Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw.

I am beyond lucky in that I both know Agnes and she had a chance to meet and understand my relationship with my Jasmine, Agnes was at that last RR Event flying in from California to Penn, to try to find some peace with the grief she was overwhelmed by.  Agnes has not by any means had an easy life and now works as a Child Advocate, something a Hound would choose, if they had to work in our world.

Gracie is another in a long list of rescues that Agnes and now her DH David have loved and spoiled rotten.  She recently opened her home to yet another rescue RR , Catherine and we talk at length about how these girls can reach the parts of our hearts no one else ever knew existed....

Having all of you reach out is incredibly important when we have to put the quality of the ones we love above our own need for them to remain. as a fellow Ridgebacker I thank you all.  Agnes is one tough young lady who often feels older than she is.  With twins that are under 3 yrs ( right?) and one with special needs she still gets up, partials out her day , this part for her DH , this for the DD, and DS and then a part for Catherine... she never fails to find that special part for Grace.      I have tried to assure her, She has the name Grace because she brought it with her ( the quality not the name) when Agnes needed it most.  Now it is time for Agnes to allow her the grace to leave , she has listened to her, watched her carefully and loves her still.... she will tell her momma when she needs that appointment.

You know where I am and how to get in touch my friend,  keep your chin up it isn't time for you to fall apart yet.  When that time comes you will have to think of David , the kids and Catherine... doesn't seem fair somehow does it?  There is a reason for everything and the bizzare order with which they happen in our lives.... we do not have to like it ...we just have to learn to handle it.  With grace.....

Big Hugs Girl Friend

Bonita

Agnes L.

Please pray for us. THis is one of the hardest decision I have ever made. I love her beyond explanation.

We are praying for you, Gracie.  God speed, girl. . .and we know you'll be watching over your family. 

Agnes, I understand what love beyond explanation means.

Lori & Willow

Here's to the Ridgeback equivalent of "went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu..."

I'll be praying for you and your family Agnes.

Thank you all for your sensitive and heartfelt thoughts. Tommorrow we are taking Gracie to have last rites administered by our priest (gotta love those Franciscans ). Friday afternoon we are seeing the vet. Her last snack will be a Hershey's dark chocolate kiss.

I am so relieved that my husband agreed that it is time for us to help Gracie go. I was having panic attacks the last few weeks imagining him (a nurse) refusing to agree that we had to put Gracie to sleep. 

The last week, we have shed so many tears together, but we have gotten much closer too.  The last three years have been hard for us. We both have had our issues and many times I have had to remind myself that as near useless as he can be, it is better having him near useless than being a single parent. I think Gracie's decline has helped us feel like a couple again. Yet another gift our Gracie has given us.

Thank you again for all of your support and prayers.

Agnes

I'm so sorry you're having to go thru this and know how difficult it is. It sounds like you, your husband and Gracie have all been blessed by each other. I'll be thinking of all of you today and tomorrow.