Needing some powerful prayers

Oh, Cathy!  I'm sending good vibes your way.  I can't imagine what it's like living under that fear.  Although, I live under the fear of Alzheimers after watching my father whither away from it.  Sorry to go off topic a bit.  Good vibes & thoughts for you.  The boys are also sending doggie kisses.  They know that kisses are very calming.

You've prayers heading your way...it must be a difficult decision, but prayer will help you make the right one for you.

Cathy, I am lighting a candle and saying prayers, try not to get nervous until you have all of the facts,  I've never heard of that test so I googled it I will learn about it. I think he did the right thing ordering it, but I think you should have had them all along to compare, I haven't finished reading this yet, but I will I believe knowledge is power.
[linkhttp://ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/ca125qa.cfm#what]http://ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/ca125qa.cfm#what[/link]

Thanks all.  I feel a little better just reading the posts.  The CA 125 is somewhat unreliable, particularly for pre-menopausal women like me, but it's all there is for now in the way of tumor markers.  I too believe knowledge is power, so I've been reading everything I could find since the call last week.  What I've learned from my reading is a) I need to see a Gyn/oncologist, not just the Gyn Dr., and b) I want a PET Scan prior to any surgery (insurance may not cover, but I'm financially able to pay myself, if I need to) and c) if I need the surgery, I may opt to go to Sloan Kettering or MD Anderson, because they are the best for this surgery/cancer.
 
If you ever need a place like idog for yourself or a friend, I found [linkhttp://www.hystersisters.com]www.hystersisters.com[/link] and I love it like I do this forum, but for different reasons.
 
Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts everyone.  I can certainly use them right now.

Cathy, good thoughts and prayers coming your way.  It's really scary - waiting for tests and test results. I'll keep a candle lit in hopes that you won't need surgery, but if you do that it will go smoothly and easily.
 
Joyce

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way, Cathy.  It's good that you're researching everything before talking to your doctor.  Being informed is so important!  Keeping you in my thoughts.

Oh hon.  Good thoughts and prayers are heading your way this second.  Please keep us updated.

Cathy--We are thinking of you and hoping for the best.  I'll look for updates.  Willow sends purple kisses!!

Sorry you are having to go thru this but sounds like if there is something there it will be caught in time.  Keeping paws crossed and saying prayers that this turns out to be nothing at all though!
 
 
 

Cathy, I'm late in replying to your original post.  I was in the midst of a rather lengthy reply while I was at work, and someone came in my office, and I had to close all the windows before I hit OK.
 
I'm so sorry you're facing this anxiety.  As someone who has a family history of early deaths due to cancer and heart disease, I know what it's like to be hyper-vigilant and worried about one's own health risks.  It's good that you've had some of the tests like the CA 125.  I've found that I've really had to PUSH doctors to run things like that (they usually think I'm being paranoid, and they don't want to conduct unnecessary tests).  But I think we have to be our own advocates, and the earlier we can find out things about our own health, the better.  And to have baseline tests early are good---they serve us well later on when compared with future tests. 
 
The only experience I can share about a preventive surgery is that of one of my dearest friends.  She had a couple suspicious lumps removed after they were found on mammographies.  Both were benign, but they had some level of abnormality in them that the doctors told her meant she was predisposed for cancerous lumps.  When the next one appeared, after careful consideration, she opted for a double mastectomy.  It wasn't what her doctors recommended -- they said a lumpectomy of the latest one, along with some other treatments, would be very reliable.  But she decided to simply rid herself of all the tissue that was predisposed to breast cancer.  She felt it was the only way she could reduce her anxiety significantly.  She's NOT worry-free, because she still fears cancer elsewhere in her body, but she is very glad with her decision.  She tries to look at it in good humor -- she had reconstructive surgery, and she likes to remind herself that now she won't face the "saggy boob" syndrome later in life! [] 
 
If you have to undergo a hysterectomy, we will send even more good thoughts your way, so that it's a smooth operation and quick recovery.  You'll be in good hands, support-wise!  Take care, and keep us posted.

Don't be afraid -- put yourself on a cancer 'diet' (no carbs but lots of protein, veggies and use fat as your energy source) and lots of Omega 3's.  You may not be able to take refuge in Hagen Daz but you'll at least feel like you're DOING something other than worry yourself into an ulcer!! 
 
And yes -- good thots and prayers are good support on here.  You were SUCH a big source of strength to me all the while Billy was sick -- the prayers and good thots from all these computers add up to a lot, and just reading all the posts is incredible support.  Take heart -- and don't borrow tomorrow's trouble today.  Your risk isn't any 'greater' today than yesterday.  And you are closer to doing whatever needs doing ... We're all on your side Cathy!! *hugs*

Thanks all of you, and thank you Callie for the email, you're all awesome.  It was hard to post this originally because a big part of me wants to just not think of it as a "big deal".  It is a real, no kidding, big deal though.  When I hit the age of 44, my mom's death hit me harder than it ever had.  I'd look in the mirror and think "oh man, she was this age when she died, and I am so very young".  I'd never thought of it from that perspective and it made me incredibly sad.  On top of that, she had 3 children to leave behind.  How awful that must've been for her.
 
Strange how things you'd think would be a positive can strike you the wrong way.  I called my Gyn and said rather than waste his time, and mine, on our appt next week would he just refer me to a Gyn/oncologist, and he said "yes, that's a good idea and what I'd planned anyway".  So, I thought, well geesh, that was easy but being so easily referred to an oncologist, well that's unnerving.  He also asked how I was doing and I said I was pretty stressed out and he said "I understand and I wish I could tell you something to ease your stress, but I can't".  What?  Couldn't he have said  "look, it might not be anything, so don't worry yet"? 
I'm a worrier by nature, and this has me over the top!  I've had a headache everyday and now I've pulled a neck muscle (I'm a wee bit tense []).  I vascillate between worrying about the cancer and thinking whatever it takes to deal with that, let's do it.  Then I've read so much about surgical menopause and how lovely that would be.  BUT  the one thing I have on my list of things to be grateful for is people like all of you and a place like this forum to share my fears.  Thanks to all of you!!!

As a person who was diagnosed with cervical cancer three times and ovarian cancer once, I chose to have a complete hysterectomy three years ago.  I was 47 and honestly it was the best thing I ever did.  I am not on any hrt nor do i suffer from mood swings or hot flashes. 
I will keep you in my prayers, please keep us posted

Cathy you gotta de-stress yourself or you will wind up with other 'stress-related' things like TMJ or more headaches. 
 
Stop by a health store tomorrow and get either some good quality peppermint oil or wintergreen oil.  At the same time, stop in the candy aisle and get either peppermint or wintergreen candies (this is called "a good cover" *grin*)
 
Massage literally a drop or two of the oil into the tense parts of your neck.  If you are prone to migraines, peppermint oil (or a super good massage oil like White Flower Oil, Yee tin oil, Ping on ointment, etc.) massaged into your temple will kick a migraine before it really starts IF you do it when the 'aura' hits.
 
But for a stress headache, just massage it into the tense areas -- you will be amazed how much easier you go to sleep and the tension it will ease during the day.
 
The plain oils are easily disguised by a jar on your desk with Lifesavers in it (peppermint or wintergreen -- see what I mean by 'cover'????? *grin*) and no one will think a thing of it.
 
White Flower Oil is a blend of wintergreen, peppermint, eucalyptus and some oriental oils.  Woodlock is a really pleasant but kind of exotic scent -- they are all superb for exactly this kind of thing.
 
I get my massage-type essential oils online (the one I use is [linkhttp://www.morningstarthealth.com]http://www.morningstarthealth.com[/link] but there are others -- I just like their selection of these oils and Aaron Mascher is a super nice guy who likes animals *grin*).
 
But you can get a lot of this stuff right at your health store.  Peppermint oil is a treasure -- try it.  It will help more than you'd believe.  Who would ever think that a topical could actually HELP a headache??  I'll put one on before I lay down to sleep and man, they send me sleepy-bye better than any pill!
 
Don't let yourself over-react.  You know you ... in fact, you know *you* better than anyone so make sure *you* don't get psyched out!!  *big hugs*