Firstly, if you are pregnant right now, or if you have babies in your near future, don't read this. It's not something you want to be thinking about. If you have had a traumatic birth, or given birth to a baby who did'nt make it, there might be triggers.
I have recently been in touch with a lady I used to work with. She is 14 weeks pregnant and terrified for the life and health of herself and her baby.
She has a daughter, who is about 4, maybe 5. The birth was hard on her, she was too weak to pick her baby up afterwards but no staff in the hospital came to help her when the baby cried. The experience overall was horrible. She has been pregnant since but it did not end well. She planned to birth at home (after the unpleasant time first time) but that was not possible she went into labour early and suffered uterine torsion (her womb kind of flipped around, tearing away from the cervix. This is RARE, she is the only person in her country to have had it, but when it happens, it's disastrous :-( ) Her little son didn't make it. He was born sleeping. She almost died too.... Well, she DID die, and got brought back by the efforts of the doctors. She was told she would never have more children. Her daughter was devastated, after being so excited about having a little brother or sister. She cut all her own hair off and did various other distressing, out-of-character things.
Now she is pregnant. I think she wants this baby very badly, but she is scared to hope. There is no excitement, no joy. Just fear. She has felt ill every day of this pregnancy. She has been bleeding. She has been in hospital over Christmas. She has been put on bed rest. The doctors have told her to expect to be in hospital a lot more over the next few months. From 30 weeks she will stay in hospital, in bed. She is not to lift anything heavier than a dinner plate. At 37 weeks, or just before, they will do a planed C-section, to get baby out before labour begins. If labour starts, she is in danger of the same thing happening again as last time.
She is frightened of them treating her poorly like they did last time... she is frightened that she won't be able to look at or hold her baby and the staff won't (or or won't be able to) help. SHe is worried that they won't allow her to have skin to skin with her baby, which she is anxious to do because of the gestational age and the important benefits (hoping to make up a little for the last few weeks that the baby would have been in utero). She is frightened that it will go wrong like last time and her husband will be made to leave and that she won't see him again, or that he won't see his son or daughter (which I think is what happened last time, except they did manage to bring her back from the brink).
She has pets at home and she is worried about their welfare while she is stuck in hospital. She is worried that one of them (a pig, don't laugh) will forget her and there will be no bond left when she finally comes home.... I think she is thinking that if she comes home with empty arms again she will need the love of her animals more than ever....
There is so much distress about so many things and I am just gutted for her. She is a wonderful, wonderful person, a wonderful mother and her daughter will be a lovely big sister. Please pray for her.... well, for all of them. Thank you.