What should I do when she growls??

he feeds her, walks her and plays with her)

 
Lori - I know you weren't specifying only these things, but I really think the most important thing he can do with her is obedience work for now.  I wouldn't worry about her making the switch from seeing him as the leader vs. you.  I think both of my dogs view both my husband and myself as the leaders BUT I work harder to make sure they understand that than he does.  My reasoning for that is they seemed to have more respect for him from the very beginning than they did for me.  They behaved better for him and just generally seemed to listen to him.  I was the one who, especially with Sassy, seemed to struggle with getting her to do anything I asked and in the beginning she was actually mildly aggressive with me (very mouthy and snappish when I scolded her).  I started the boot camp version of NLIF and to this day (4 years later), I still require her (and Buffy too) to sit or down or something before treats, going out the door, coming in, etc.  The change was remarkable and I see no difference in how the respect or respond to either my DH or myself. 
 
I also agree with other's comments about using "uh-uh" or something like that in response to the growl.  Although the growl is the early warning system, I think it's important that they understand there's no need for it.  I don't think it needs to be a harsh reminder or followed up with anything further.  I guess I see the best outcome as when Willow growls, you say "uh-uh" then again say, for example "Willow - down" and she does and then you can praise like crazy.  I could be totally wrong on this though, so hopefully Anne will be along with her wisdom.

That is a good question, and although I don't know the answer, I would think that if you remain vigilant and keep a close eye on her relationship with you (keeping up the NILIF with you, making sure you don't exit the relationship altogether and nipping any slip ups in the bud) even if this might be a possibility, it won't happen with you guys... I am guessing that you care much less what "order" (if any) she sees you and DH in, and more that you and DH are both above her in the ranks...

The only thing that will happen if your husband becomes more of an active leader is that you will BOTH be respected.  You are already respected and your husband a gap where Willow feels he can move in.  Once that gap is closed you will both have equal leadership.[]
 
It worked for my dog; the eh-eh and calling him to distract him.  My dog use to give me the posture: still, eyeballing and growling and once I called him over redirected his mood it helped to break his focus.  I think what really stopped the behavior was our gaining leadership and respect!!   Good luck!!  You are doing a wonderful job!

I hadn't yet had enough caffeine! No, growling is the way to be, of course. Gosh, I hope that didn't come off that badly (my writing that, that is). Growling is a way to warn you off, sure, but it's also a control thing that dogs use. At least that's how I see it.
 
The best dog situation? No growl and happy to do what he/she is asked to do. That's the best scenario. Would I take a growl over a snap/bite? Yes.
 
 

Thank you again everyone.  This advice of distracting her really seems to make sense.  And, I am going to speak with DH about him doing NILIF with her more and maybe he can practice her commands at night with her.  Right now, he's in his I don't want anything to do with her phase and she's trying hard to get his attention, so I told him to keep ignoring. 

I am glad he can work with her and I will still have a position of authority to her.  The last thing I need is her growling at me.  I'm the one who does the paw wiping and face wiping, brushing, etc. 

Thank you all again. 

I just want to say that I'm impressed with how much work you've put into Willow.  I think she's equally impressed.  To her you are alpha and your DH (though I'm still not entirely sure what that stands for) might gain a bit more respect from her, she won't think that you're not alpha.  Remember in the dog/wolf heirarchy there are alpha females and alpha males.  Willow knows that you are the alpha female. 

I totally agree with the NILIF and more obedience work by your DH.  I think that will strengthen the bond between the two of them, and will put him on a level where he's trying to *understand* what Willow's thinking process is like.

I wanted to say that I've been working with a border collie cross that comes to our park, and I've put him on the NILIF program with me.  He's a love bug but he knows that he's got to sit before I'll pet him.  He'll run full speed up to me and then fly into the sitting position so I will pet him.  Even after all the effort I've put into him, he still won't go into a "down" for me.  I tried coaxing him gently, I've tried treats and I've tried helping him.  Still no down.  I think in a different environment he'd be more compliant.  But at the park I don't force the issue.  I'm just happy that he knows he's got a job when I'm around-and he's alot happier for it.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Thank you!  DH is just an internet abbreviation for dear husband or damn husband depending on the situation.  It's funny in real life I never say "my husband", I always use his name, which is Mike. 
 
I had forgotten about alpha males and females, that's awesome.  Thank you for reminding me.  I just want to make sure I'll still be OK and DH (husband, Mike) agrees that if she's got to be grumbly with someone we'd rather it be him.  I know how odd that sounds but, that's our situation. 
 
Anyway, after he went to bed tonight, I sat down on the floor with Willow.  I talked to her about the growling and that she just made a mistake and that Papa will forgive her eventually, he always does.  (which is sooo true, he's been growled at at least 4 times and HE's the one who rescued her) 
 
She was trying to understand, I think.  She stuck her head down on my lap.  That's something I don't see often, so I think she at least got that I was trying to tell her something important.  Then I got a lick and I told her to "play dead" which she did and smiled once she was down completely. 
 
And, tonight I worked on "down" too.  She did it well a few times and a few times I needed to prompt her.  One time she went down and then right to "play dead" and I didn't tell her to do that.  So, I praised her and told her "thanks for the free play dead"  
 
I'm going to try to video her within the next couple of days.  I think if everyone could see how well she does with the commands except down it will help.

Gee Lori, I was just getting around to reading this,, and as you know, we have issues with Bubblegum also and they remind me of you guys and Willow.  I don't think that Bubby would ever growl at me, honestly (it would shock me if she did) but as much as she loves DH she will growl at him for adifferent reason. In our case its coming into the room I am in right now, with the computer. At one point she started growling when he walked up the stairs to get here.  His back is pretty bad now so he doesn't come up here lately, but I bet she would still do the same thing if he did.   She jumps up and growl and gets really protective.  We tried keeping her out of this room at one point and it made her worse because it seemed she wasn't allowed to come to the place that was hers.  DH feeds her in the evening and takes her out then and he is really home a lot with her during the day.  She loves him EXCEPT when I'm around its all me.  She follows me everywhere..but when she realizes I'm getting ready to go out she runs to him and just lays her whole body on his chair and leans on him (Its a Dane thing)   He helps with bathing, he does wipe her feet when the ground is snowing or wet (we both do but her breeder taught her she must get her feet wiped) and he practically lays on to hold her while I trim her nails.   I really am surprised she would growl at him and try to keep him from coming in this room....she loves him, I know it.  I have to constantly remind myself that we must do the NILIF because it probably is the only thing that reminds her constantly that she is NOT the boss.
I just really have such a hard time believing growling is okay.  I understand that it is a warning in a way, but I feel that sometimes its not a warning but a dog taking charge. And I don't believe that it should ever be in charge. Bubby "talks" all the time, I've never seen her lift her lip or snarl,,,but she does push you with her nose and I honestly think that she could /would use her teeth to boss stop someone from doing what she doesn't want them to do and not really be mean about it,,,just being forceful. I can't let that be and don't know how to stop that either.  She uses her nose so much that sometimes I wonder if you "felt" her teeth because they are so close to her nose that is pushing at you. I can't really tell for sure because it happens so selddom. But its a constant reminder that she must be watched every second.

ORIGINAL: Xerxes

To her you are alpha and your DH (though I'm still not entirely sure what that stands for) might gain a bit more respect from her, she won't think that you're not alpha. 

 
Thats too funny, I was wondering the same thing.  I knew it meant husband, but didn't know what the 'D' was for.
 
Lori , I admire how far you have come with Willow.  I can only hope that DH and I can one day come as far as you have. 
 
I too find it confusing figuring out if Duke should or shouldn't be growling.  However I would way rather him give me warning and growl than just bite me.
 
Good luck, and keep us posted!
 
Also, thank you for all of the advice that you have given me so far.  It has helped us alot.[]

???????????????????    "Growling is a good thing"       ???????????? 
 
Not in in my pack or in my house!!  I don't understand this?  Yes, I would rather be growled at then bitten but neither one is a good thing.
 
I did, and do, everything I can to eliminate this behavior.  And never once thought it was a good thing he growled at me. [8|]  

I'm afraid we'll have to disagree on that one.
 
When we did the MS Walk recently, Tyler walked with us.  Now this was Tylers very first really long walk, and he does have pano, but he was GOLDEN during the entire walk...absolutely focused on the important walk.  After the walk, my 3.5 year old great neice was ALLL over Tyler.  Tyler laid down behind me and Gracie couldn't let him be.  Now, her Mom and Grandma were RIGHT there, and the child was NOT listening to me, so when Tyler laid behind me, I thought he was "safe" for a few minutes.  Tyler is not overly fond of children because of the kids in his supposedly "forever" home before he came back to me, but was excellent with Gracie, cuz Dad told him, Gracie is family, she's ok.  I was NOT watching the child.....she wasn't my job that day....and I could feel Tyler curled up at my back....all of a sudden he gave a little half hearted sort of growl noise....Gracie was petting his TONGUE and pulling on it.  So yep, that growl was absolutely appropriate. It was my signal, that "hey mom, this kid is really BUGGING me....do something".  Which I did.  And not her mom or grandma or NOT, I told her in no uncertain terms that she could NOT touch or pet my dog if she could not treat him nicely.  My words were not terribly appreciated by her mom and grandma, but gosh, oh well.  THEY were responsible for the child, not me, and they weren't doing their job.
 
Sometimes a little growl is appropriate and the dogs way of asking for help.

well, ok, growling isn't really a good thing, it's best if dogs never feel the need to growl. But many people make the mistake of punishing dogs for growling, and guess what, these dogs are the ones who, when they feel uncomfortable with a situation, bite without warning. I'd rather the dog told me via a growl that he was uncomfortable with the situation, wouldn't you?
 
Is it ossible willow's issue with DH is more one of lack of trust than lack of leadership? She may have felt endangered by his leaning over her and manipulating her into a position she isn't very comfortable assuming.

ORIGINAL: mudpuppy

well, ok, growling isn't really a good thing, it's best if dogs never feel the need to growl. But many people make the mistake of punishing dogs for growling, and guess what, these dogs are the ones who, when they feel uncomfortable with a situation, bite without warning. I'd rather the dog told me via a growl that he was uncomfortable with the situation, wouldn't you?

 
I think that is why Duke attacks us without warning, we were always told by trainers that he shouldn't ever growl at us.  So we would always correct him for growling, then he stopped growling and started biting.  Lately he has gone back to more of the growling, and it is not great... but it is better than the biting.

I agree under those cercumstance when children or someone is doing something they shouldn't I agree - it is a "good thing" they growled and didn't bite, for sure 100%.  I meant, in the situation that is being discussed - I do not think it is good thing.  I don't punish, yell or disapline this behavior though - that's not a good idea either.

Is it ossible willow's issue with DH is more one of lack of trust than lack of leadership? She may have felt endangered by his leaning over her and manipulating her into a position she isn't very comfortable assuming.

Honestly, I think it might be a little of both. 

Today, I had a long talk with him and gave him these options.  He needs to either work more with her on training and NILIF or NOT put her in submissive positions and lean over her. 

I explained to him that I've come so far with her but cannot come much further as far as he is concerned.  That he needs to do it if that's what he wants.  I made it really clear that if he doesn't want to put the time in than to please be careful what he does with her because after three years I'd be devasted to have her bite him.

He understands completely.  He said he's "disappointed" that she feels the need to growl at him at all.  I explained he shouldn't take it personally, and that growling is bad yet good. 

I know it sounds bitchy but he really needed to know that it's not just gonna magically happen.  And, I love, love LOVE this girl so I'm trying to protect her.

I think he's going to try to work more with her.  He is a great husband so I'm very lucky. 

luvmyswissy--There was recently an article in Whole Dog Journal called "The Gift of Growl".  You are right, growling is not good, should be no need for that.  But, a growl is also a warning, you want a warning.  You don't want just a bite out of nowhere.  When I go home I'll try to find what issue of the magazine it was in.  I actually thank God she does growl because considering where she came from and how she spent her puppy years it's a small miracle.