help! dog suddenly has no interest in me

I have a shih tzu who acts like this- maybe after the first- couple of months or so after I got her, she was very independent. Even now the worst thing in the world to her is cuddling on the couch on MY terms. Some days I try to pet her and she runs away under the coffee table. Maybe it's because she's been bounced around from house to house so much that she's so independent.
Funny thing is when I went away to college, she sat by the door for a day after I left, and she'd cry watching me leave.

Now that she lives with me at college, she could really care less about the people who are there. The only time she is happy that I'm around is dinner-time and pill-time (where she gets cheese). She has more important things to be interested in- like Oscar and the guinea pig and the pet rats.

Some dogs- from what I understand are just not big cuddlers and are independent. I respect that, and when I need some doggy loving at school, I just hug Oscar (who is the biggest cuddle-bum in the world)

Just wanted to add for the person with the Shih Tzu and the person with the Llasa, please be sure that the snubbing isn't related to a medical problem.  My shih tzu Cassie was behaving very stand offish and though these are independent little dogs this was out of character.  She was having a bout of sciatica.  It progressed to the point where she was unable to walk but she still didn't wimper. These are stoic little dogs and sometimes you may have no idea that they are in pain.  Hopefully, both little dogs are just going through a phase but I thought I would tell Cassie's story in case it could help.

Thanks everyone for the advice
Nicca, I think I am going to get him checked out at the vet, mainly because if this were normal behavior than I would dismiss it, however he only started this recently and I dont want to take any chances

What training methods have you been using?  Have you gone to classes with him?  With understanding comes bonding.
If he checks out physically, I think clicker training is a great idea.  Find a trainer at www.clickertraining.com.

Hi
 
Dogs go through a second fear period and act oddly between 6 and 14 months this fear period last 3 weeks and if startled or frightened during this period can have long lasting effects.
 
6 to 14 Months
Second Fear Imprint Period or Fear of New Situations Period. Dog again shows fear of new situations and even familiar situations. Dog may be reluctant to approach someone or something new. It is important that you are patient and act very matter of fact in these situations. Never force the dog to face the situation. DO NOT pet the frightened puppy or talk in soothing tones. The puppy will interpret such responses as praise for being frightened. Training will help improve the dog's confidence. This fear period is normally more marked in male dogs.
 
1 to 4 Years
Maturity Period. You may encounter some increased aggression and renewed testing for position and authority, however if you have spent lots of time with your dog and trained consistently and regularly, then this should not present itself as a problem - in fact you may hardly notice this change, it is just something to keep in mind. Continue to train your dog during this period. It is possible that your dog may have another fear period between 12 - 16 months of age.
 
Stan

Oh, I really feel for you! I know exactly what you're going through. I used to have this trouble, also. My little dog is SOOOOO cute and sweet and happy! But six months after I brought him home from the pound, he suddenly stopped being that way. He's never been aggressive, lucky for me, but he just got really stand-offish suddenly. First thing I did was take him to the vet to verify that he was physically okay.
 
Then I changed my way of thinking. Because if I didn't, things were going to stay the same. And mentally/emotionally, I didn't think I could take it.
 
Dogs NEED hierarchy in order to be stable, thriving creatures. They depend on knowing where they are in the pack. Only when they know their place in the pack can they be what we have come to think of as sweet, good pet dogs. These are the dogs who might be allowed on the couch, but with one word from their pack leader quickly get off the couch. Which, by the way, does not hurt their feelings! And it does not hurt their feelings when you walk by them without stooping over and scratching them behind the ears. Imagine that you see your boss hurrying by you, obviously on his or her way to a very important meeting that looks like it might have started 5 minutes ago. Then they stop dead in their tracks when they see you, visibly change their body posture to kind of relaxed and even casual and "slumpy," and then they start lavishly praising your new haircut or your impeccable taste in choosing suits and ties. (You would wonder what had gotten into them, right? Maybe YOU were actually the boss and no one bothered to send you the memo!) It's the same with dogs. You USED to be a good leader....but now, they're not so sure; you aren't really acting like much of a leader. Of course, you keep doing this behavior because you think your dog finally sees you as only wanting to love him and tell him how sweet and wonderful and good he is. Then one day, your dog isn't particularly in the mood to get praise or attention from you, so when you walk up to them, they "heartlessly" turn the other way and walk, with the highest level of uninterest, into the next room, and your heart proceeds to break into a million little bits and you just watch, stunned, wondering what in the world could have happened.)
 
Most dogs don't want to be the boss of the pack because it's a lot of hard work, and there's very little down time to the vigilance. Being the pack leader means that you are responsible for an entire pack of dogs! You have to make sure they're protected from harm, so you are constantly on the lookout for danger. You have to make sure that they have enough to eat, so you have to be on the lookout for the next meal. You have to make sure there is harmony, so you have to keep them in line. The integrity, nay, the very existence of the pack depends on you! It's a hard job, and very stressful. There's little time for play, and being happy-go-lucky is almost out of the question.
 
 
Sounds like you've put this responsibility onto your little dog, and I don't know him, but I bet he was happier when YOU were the pack leader. I think the idea that dogs have to go through an "independence phase" and sort of test you out to see if you're a good pack leader, one that they can trust, makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately, most of us aren't told how to be a good pack leader. We're taught that all of us are equals. This is a recipe for disaster if you're a dog, especially when dogs are looking to us to get their cues how to act. Remember, dogs needs hierarchy in order to be stable creatures. If you've ever been involuntarily out of work, you suddenly realize how important it is to your actual integrity and self-respect to have work. It's kind of like that for dogs and hierarchy.
 
And if they don't know who the pack leader is, well, they'll take on the responsibility whether they want to or not, because that's how strong the instinct is.
 
It nearly broke my heart when my sweet, cute, happy-go-lucky dog started ignoring me.
 
[font="times new roman"][size=3]Here's a fun experiment to try. It sounds really goofy, but it works, and try it (in private if necessary) before you criticize me for being a weirdo. You'll be aghast at your dog's reaction. Best of all, you can guage by this simple test whether or not you will be able to salvage your relationship with your dog.[/size][/font]
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[font="times new roman"][size=3](Again, sounds goofy, but please just try it once. That's all it takes. It won't hurt either you or your dog. Well, in case your dog is really aggressive. Let's not make this into a legal issue. If you think your dog might hurt you, just please don't do this, okay?) When you usually feed your dog, once you fix the bowl of dog food and they're dancing around, happy and jumpy that they're about to eat, DO NOT stoop down and give them their breakfast. And DON'T talk to them. This is a good time to take the "ignore them" advice. Instead, stand up straight and tall, and lower your head over the bowl of food and have at it! This is pure, unadulterated DOG language, and they will understand it instantly, no matter how much we have messed them up by treating them like people. They will be shocked and confused because you're not the pack leader, THEY are, and they should be eating first! But stick to it. Of course don't actually eat it, but move your head around, and make some munching noises, and make it sound satisfyingly good. Don't try to make them jealous, just pretend you're eating like you normally do. I guarantee you will be surprised at what they do, whatever it is. Then, of course, set the bowl down and let them eat.[/size][/font]
[font="times new roman"][size=3][/size][/font] 
[font="times new roman"][size=3]If your dog either sits down and watches you eat, or stands there and watches you eating, or barks or whines or whimpers and watches you eat, or even loses interest and goes into the other room, then take heart! Your dog remembers how to be a dog! This is great news![/size][/font]
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[font="times new roman"][size=3]Now, give both you and your dog a wonderful treat - do some internet research about pack behavior. Watch shows about wolves and wild dog packs. And then take your dog to a couple days of doggie daycare. It will be the best money you ever spent. Partly because your dog will love it and get socialized, but also partly because you will get to see a bunch of dogs, all dealing with each other perfectly well.You'll get to see what dogs do to get their point across, and how they respect each other. [/size][/font]
 
[font="times new roman"][size=3]Anyway, then go home from the dog park and make some rules and teach them to your dog so they know what to expect, and stick to them. Be fair. Always make sure your dogs know the rules because it's not fair to punish them if they don't know the rules or the consequences. In other words, never get after them for doing something that they didn't know whether or not they could do it. Chalk it up to something YOU learned, and then take the time to teach them later another day. Never get hysterical. Pack leaders do not get hysterical. Most of the time they don't need to. Make the punishment fit the crime, and then let it go and move on. Good bosses do not hold grudges. And NEVER, never never never say to yourself as justification for punishment, "That dog should have known better." Never. Dogs don't work like we do. They live within the rules of the hierarchy THAT YOU HAVE SET. If they take liberties that you don't think they should have taken, it's because you, the pack leader, did not make it clear -- fairly and firmly and calmly, that they were not to take these liberties. Alternatively, they have taken the liberties because, frankly, you're not the pack leader, so, um, who cares what you say? Dogs are smart, but they don't know "right" and "wrong." Take the sniffing the behind thing. That's the polite way for dogs to get to know each other. Sure it's gross to us. But for dogs, it's considered HIGHLY rude and borderline aggressive to greet a new dog by walking straight up to it face to face. Watch at the dog park. Dogs don't meet new dogs that way. They walk around each other or approach off-handedly. They sniff each other's behinds. They get to know each other that way. As foreign an idea this is for you and me, imagine, then, how foreign it must be for a dog when we think they "should know" the human version of right and wrong! Proposterous![/size][/font]
 
[font="times new roman"][size=3]And once you have shown them that you're a good boss, they will begin to trust and respect you again, and then they can relax and start being the happy-go-lucky, sweet, wonderful dogs they used to be. It worked for me anyway. I still have to remind myself sometimes not to get toooooo cutesy with the little one, but overall, the entire dynamic of this pack is much better for me having changed my ways! And because I am pretty good at acting like the good boss (ie, the pack leader) these days, we can all be more relaxed about giving and getting affection than when in the beginning. Because it doesn't confuse them anymore when I act affectionate. And Bodhi now is happy to see me again when I pick him up from the doggie daycare. I understand that when he goes into the other room, it's NOT because he's snubbing me. We've established a hierarchy and I am the pack leader, and he respects me for that, and he assumes that I trust that relationship.  [/size][/font]
 
[font="times new roman"][size=3]If you have trouble getting started, take on this mindset: You just won the Best Boss on the Entire Planet Award. Rock on! And as you wake up the next morning, you remember that you must be at a very important meeting this morning. You definitely have enough time to get everything done before the meeting, but you don't have any extra time to play around. (Of course, feed your dogs and make sure they get their physical needs met, because as the best boss on the planet, that is your responsibility.) Take them out to do their business, but speak to them as if they were your employees. Grab that leash and head out the door (be sure you go before they do, that's just plain old respect for the best boss in the world). Say "let's go" exactly the way you would to an employee (you will instantly and without realizing it lose the "cute voice" you usually speak to your dog in, I guarantee!) and then start walking as if you have someplace to go, and fully expect your little "employee" to follow. Walk hurridly but calmly to get the business done. You might be surprised, you actually don't have to give them commands to do what they are there to do. I was pretty amazed the first time this happened. You're not mean or rude or anything, because you're a good boss and you're fair, and your "employee" hasn't done anything to deserve you yelling at them. But then again, you just don't have time right now to stop and chat, that's all. I guarantee your dog won't take this personally! Be around your dogs the whole day as if you have that meeting to go to in a couple hours. It doesn't mean you're tense and rushing around and hysterical. On the contrary. As the best boss on the planet, you live your life so that you never have to rush frantically around to get things done because you have also won the "Best Time Manager Award" and so you're ALWAYS calm and you're NEVER stressed. You're just focused on getting a job done, and you are determined to get to this meeting in time, fully prepared, in a calm state. One rule, do not constantly look at your dogs throughout the day the way that people do who are in close proximity. You are the pack leader today, and you do not need their approval or their reassurance. For ANYthing. (Like your boss does not keep checking in on you throughout the day for your approval and reassurance, right? If they did, you might start going through your e-mails, looking for that memo...) Do this for a day, and see if your dog is reacting to you any differently by nighttime. Maybe he will be. Might be even more standoffish for a while, because you've trained him well to be a good pack leader, and not being pack leader anymore means giving up all those free belly-scratches! But stick with it. I bet it will happen for you, too.[/size][/font]
 
[font="times new roman"][size=3]Just remember, boss-employee. Be a good boss, a fair boss, a consistent boss, and you will most likely get a good result. Good luck, and keep us posted!
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ok, that actually makes complete sense to me and I will defidently try it. A few questions however. Fist, what exactly am I looking for in the "test" you posted. What is a good response opposed to a negative one? Also I dont want you to think I have not set boundries for my two dogs. I have, but I have obviously done somethig wrong. They know the basic commands sit stay down and others. They know when I say off to get off the couch. I make them sit before meals and before going outside. I guess I am not as consistant as I should be.....With the "program" you replied with would I have to act like that every day or for a while until they fall back into the appropriate rank? Also my dogs have no interest in dog food, I dont feed them many treats, and they just kind of eat when they feel like it. Any sugestions? thanks for your post by the way very informative!!!!

by the way no, he is not aggressive  at all

I'm glad some of it made sense! It turned out really long, so thanks for reading the whole thing. From your original message, I didn't for a second get the picture that you hadn't set boundaries or rules, and you just didn't seem like the kind of person who let your dogs go crazy out of control. You don't come across that way. But I could just hear the desperation in your voice, because I have SO been there before and the more I got one-liner replies, the worse it got. And watching The Dog Whisperer on TV helped - but not all the time becauase I just couldn't get the "pack mentality" in my head.Which made it worse. And when you having dogs turns into dogs having you, it's just no fun for ANYone! In fact, I think it borders on depressing!
 
And actually, I think you got the exact point of the "test" part. It was just to prove to you that you and your dog can get through this. (I know sometimes I feel worst when I feel the situation is hopeless.) The point was, if your dog did ANYTHING besides stand up on his two hind legs and look you square in the face and say, "Um, excuse me! **I** eat first around here! Now gimme that!" and swiped the food out of your hand, then you have material to work with. YOU'VE done something in 100% dog language that you probably didn't realize was 100% dog language. And you did it 100% successfully. This alone proves that you can show your dog who is boss without touching, without eye contact, without speaking. The way dogs do.
 
And the hard part is, yes, you have to act like this until your dog gets in line. The good news is, dogs respond to hierarchy pretty quickly. Most dogs fall right in line. The pack depends on all the dogs knowing where they are. Without hierarchy and order, it's chaos, as you found out. The emotional health of a dog pack seems to depend on all the members knowing where they are. Of course, some get out of line sometimes, but they are either quickly put back into their place, or they actually climb the status ladder above the dog they challenged. This is NOT the scenario you want!   
 
And like I said in the first post, most dogs really don't want to be the boss. It's hard work! My sweet little dog, Bodhi, the one I had the problems with walking away from me and acting like he didn't care, he didn't want to be boss. He wasn't happy when he was boss, and the way he was acting PROVED that. So I think your dog will probably be relieved that you're the pack leader again. By the way, do you ever watch Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer? He is a genius, in my opinion. The only thing I have a problem with is the whole "pack leader" mentality, which is where the boss-employee thing comes in.
 
But take heart, if you do it right, you Best Boss on the Planet you! it will be much easier for YOU, too. And I promise YOU'LL be happier. You'll eventually be able to stop what you're doing and give them attention, because eventually you will have shown that you are the pack leader and they know that you're not showing them attention because you suddenly don't want to be the pack leader anymore.
 
I was lucky in having a truly great boss once. Truly great. Fair, consistent, didn't try to be "one of the guys," but no one hated her for it - they respected her the more. She said what she meant, and she meant what she said. She was calm, hardly ANYthing freaked her out. EVER. It really was amazing to see. She was a rarity, and I was lucky.
 
And it will get easier for you to do this. Just keep practicing. There's a couple neat little tricks that luckily are also 100% dog language that I'll write about later, but now I have to get back to work.
 
Oh, a word of advice about doggie daycare, find one near where you live, and take your dog(s) there for two or three days in a row, and then space it out. (I mean, unless you can afford it every day, then I highly recommend it.) One of the reason most dogs can't "behave" is that they just plain don't get enough exercise. A one-half mile walk doesn't cut it, unfortunately. Doggie daycare seems to run anywhere from 13 dollars a day to almost 20. I live in the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area of NC. But it was one of the best things I could ever have done for my dogs. PLEASE save up if you need to, and take your dogs, like I said, first for two days at least, and then space it out to once a week or even once every two weeks if you have to. Just make sure they're playing and socializing A LOT.
 
Okay, I'll write more later, if you're still intersted in reading my blabbing!  Ha ha! 

Here is another possibility.  It might actually be a case of the overjustification effect.  The overjustification effect happens when you reward a behavior that is intrinsically rewarding, then you remove the reward the behavior begins to dissappear.  Here is an example: a rat (this is what i study in the lab) naturally likes running on a wheel with out any external reward then you give it food to reward it (for a short duration) then you remove the reward the rat stop running on the wheel.  This is jsut a possibility if all else fails to consider.  Also note if there is a difference in your dogs behavior when the other dog is not around.  You could also create some special one on one time with your shy dog.  Go camping for a night or two or once a week do something special with just the shy dog to give you two some one on one bonding time.  Good luck

"This is pure, unadulterated DOG language, and they will understand it instantly, no matter how much we have messed them up by treating them like people."  Your right dogs are not people.  But, people are not dogs.  They have a language based heavily on body cues and we do also.  We need to learn their cues and help them learn ours.  Don't mimic them and get bogged down in dominance theory.  A good boss (leader) is not concerned with leading but rather the a good end goal: a happy healthy relationship for both of you dog and human.

I like that theory. But how do you get the rat to run on the wheel again? That seems to be where the problem lies.

I DO agree that getting bogged down in dominance theory can get sticky. And your restating the fact that people are not dogs is exactly my point: We AREN'T dogs, and that's exactly why most of us don't understand the complicated language they have.
 
As a scientist, you understand that when we are presented with a problem and we want to solve the problem, we have to be able to understand the factors that make up the problem. And key to understanding factors that make up a problem is somehow arranging it in ways that we can understand. Isn't the whole idea behind studying rat behavior to better understand animal behavior? And ultimately, to better understand human behavior?
 
And sometimes the best way to understand something is to relate to it. You made your own perfect example in your previous post: You gave an example to demonstrate your idea so that your readers could relate, and therefore understand.
 
It's also possible that you didn't relate to the examples I gave as well as the person who initially posted with the problem, which is why it didn't really have much meaning for you. That person actually DID relate to some of the things I had said, though, because it DID help that person some.
 
I never implied that the person needed to start acting like a dog. You don't expect people to begin behaving as rats, right? But wouldn't it be cool if you could tell me something that I could do that would be "speaking rat," and that the rats wouldn't even have to interpret what it meant in rat language because it WAS rat language? And when I did this thing that you told me to do, in front of some rats, they immediately responded the way rats do when OTHER rats do that thing? And I would come away feeling like I had been able to communicate with a rat, which was at the root of the problem when I came to you for help to understand my pet rat.
 
Incidentally, to say to someone who asks for help in solving this kind of problem, "Don't worry about how to be a good leader. Just be concerned that all the end results are happy and healthy" is only marginally more helpful than hiring a new employee and not teaching them how to do their job, but saying "Okay, make sure all your customers are satisfied." You leave out the middle part, the HOW part, the part the employee NEEDS to know to fulfill your demand that they make sure all their customers are satisfied; the part that it is YOUR responsibility to teach him.

It is quite possible your shy dog has simply "shut down".  This is the opposite of "get aggressive" in some dogs when the environment becomes too stressful.  Good ways to handle this are to teach your more outgoing dog "leave it" so he can't be too in-your-face to the shy one.  Time alone with the shy dog doing some fun stuff is great.  Gradually building the shy dog's confidence is good - sometimes agility class works well for this kind of dog because they get more confident just doing the obstacles, and they aren't having to deal with other dogs right in their personal space, yet good things are happening to them in the presence of other dogs. If he is "shut down", this is not a candidate for dog day care!!!

I like the idea of agility, too, I think my littler dog would have a great time in that. And I agree that a "shut down" dog is NOT one for dog daycare, but I would caution that I think dog owners sometimes aren't the best ones to judge this, and that taking the dog to a dog day care and explaining the situation fully to the staff, or at least the person or people who will be dealing with the dog, is a better idea than an owner diagnosing their dog as a "shy dog" and therefore not even trying it. It looks like you have tons of experience of all kinds with dogs in all kinds of situations. Wouldn't you agree that taking a dog to doggie daycare, at least once to see how it goes, after fully explaining your concerns to the staff, is a better idea than just not taking your dog because you're afraid that it won't do well? I think dogs have the benefit over people of being able to revert back to stable dog behavior when they're well socialized a lot faster than people can revert back to stable person behavior (if there even IS such a thing! And doggie daycare is a wonderful way to socialize dogs.