Jealous of new baby

    • Gold Top Dog

    Jealous of new baby

    Our daughter was born January 3rd.  At first Sam was very interested in her and seemed to be handling the adjustment well.  We were more worried about Kiya.  Well things have changed since the my in-laws went home and there's not as much attention to go around.  Kiya is doing really well now, but Sam is having problems.  He's obviously missing having my undivided attention.  I wish I could give him more, but I'm doing the best I can.  He specifically targets items that he knows are the baby's.  He steals her pacifiers right from her mouth! and he pulls blankets off of her.  He drops his toys directly on top of her.  I need some advice on how to help him adjust.  I know he'll be great with her eventually, as he is wonderful with kids in general, but I think he's actually trying to be dominant over her.  Can anyone give me advice on how to handle this? 
     
    Thanks, Karen
    • Gold Top Dog
    Have you joined the basenji list?  I know several people there have, within the last few years, had babies.  The only thing that comes to mind would be some obedience drills (keep it fun) with lots of treats while your feeding your human baby or at least while your new jr handler is around.  Once jr starts eating/spilling solid food, dogs seem to really like them.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Your dog is not jealous of the new baby, i actually think that he is trying to interact or "play" with her, the fact of dropping his toys on top of her might indicate that is waiting for the baby to start "playing" with him, same with the pacifier "i have your toy now, chase me"

    Is he being aggressive when he does that or just seems playfull?

    For the safety of the baby in any case is better if you dont let him get to close to her, you dont know if in one of those playfull moments he plays to rough for the baby, just supervise him and set some boundries that he cant cross when he is close to her

    And never is too late to use NILIF (google) to make him behave in a better way in case his approach is not as playfull as we think and he is trying to set the discipline for the new "member" of the pack [;)]. Babys move differently, walk differently, smell differently, and sound differently. It#%92s in the dog's nature to react to any energy that to them, seems unbalanced or unstable.

    But dont worry, like i said, it seems more playfull than any other thing, since we are not there to see the situation in person we need to cover all the posibilities

    • Gold Top Dog
    It's important how you react when the dog does this.... It might be that he's learned its a guaranteed way to get your attention! (which is on short rations at the moment!)  I would highly recommend making use of gates and crates and only allowing the dog in the room with you and the baby when you are able to pro-actively supervise and pre-empt any unwanted behaviour.  Good luck and congratulations!
    • Gold Top Dog
    It's natural for dogs to want to check out a new baby in a pack, and that's fine *as long as the dog is aware of you*. If he raises and steals objects that belong to the baby ignoring you telling him to stop it, it's not good.

    Dogs, like many other animals are naturally sensative to the mother-baby relatioship, and should back off when told (they should feel your energy). If he doesn't, then I don't think he is taking you seriously.

    If he drops his toys on the baby, I don't think he wants to play with her, he is telling you what you should concentrate on - "ME not the baby!" He might be missing out on your attention, but he shouldn't demand it.

    Has he been getting less exercise? If yes, than that energy has to go somewhere...
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: TinaK

    If he drops his toys on the baby, I don't think he wants to play with her, he is telling you what you should concentrate on - "ME not the baby!" He might be missing out on your attention, but he shouldn't demand it.



    Thats true if at the moment he drops the toy then the dog looks at the OP, if he just keeps his eyes on the baby then is waiting for the baby to do something, just like when your dog brings his favorite toy so you play with him
    • Gold Top Dog

    ORIGINAL: espencer

    ORIGINAL: TinaK

    If he drops his toys on the baby, I don't think he wants to play with her, he is telling you what you should concentrate on - "ME not the baby!" He might be missing out on your attention, but he shouldn't demand it.



    Thats true if at the moment he drops the toy then the dog looks at the OP, if he just keeps his eyes on the baby then is waiting for the baby to do something, just like when your dog brings his favorite toy so you play with him


    Could be. I've just always thought that dogs have this sense about babies and that there'll be no games for a while. You know? It's like they know exactly what happened and who the new comer is.
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: TinaK

    Could be. I've just always thought that dogs have this sense about babies and that there'll be no games for a while. You know? It's like they know exactly what happened and who the new comer is.

     
    Mmmm maybe, i dont know if they were born knowing what a human baby looks, sounds and smells like, one day the humans just came home with something else that "looks like" a human, i dont even know if a regular human kid would know what a baby is if she/he never saw or hear about a baby before 
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thanks for the advice so far.  We've been making an effort to try and give Sam more attention.  It's hard when I'm the only one home, especially since he currently can't do his favorite activities (walks, dog park) because of a lump on his neck that he's being treated for (it interferes with him wearing a traditional collar or head collar).  He hasn't been aggressive toward Kristen, but I don't know if it's really playful either.  We had some gates up, but Sam never respected them, he just vaulted right over them.  For now I'm making a point of closing doors and the poor guy is getting a bit more outside time than he usually did (fortunately the weather is gorgeous and he seems to enjoy it so I don't feel too guilty).  He is a bit ornery.  When we give him directions he usually obeys, but not always, basenjis are pretty hard-headed though, so this isn't anything new.  He has been listening in regards to the baby though.  He just resumes his behavior the moment I'm not actively paying attention to him.  We'll get it figured out eventually, but until then buy some stock in Gerber since I'm buying pacifiers by the caseload!
    • Gold Top Dog
    Could you walk him in a harness?  Getting rid of some excess energy is bound to help.
    • Gold Top Dog
    Don't give him attention when he is actively begging for it. It's fine to answer your dog's demands if your overall relationship is mutually respectful. But, for now, don't answer his demands, just for the sake of it - he is in a boot camp :) It has to be your initiative, not his. Tighten up the rules in the house temporarily - some dogs need that.

    Also, dogs know when you feel guilty. You sort of become more aware of what the dog wants, turn and look at his every request, etc. So, just paying attention to the fact that he demands (while not answering them), is a sign that you care about those demands... If you see what I am saying.
    Do walk your dog and play with him, but there is time and place for that. You have more important things to worry about right now. So don't feel guilty. [:)]
    • Gold Top Dog
    because of a lump on his neck that he's being treated for (it interferes with him wearing a traditional collar or head collar

     
    How is that lump?  I thought it went away?
    • Gold Top Dog
    I thought the lump had gone away too, but when I got back from the hospital it was there again.  He has an infection and the lump is full of puss.  He's been on antibiotics and has had it drained twice, but the infection is being very stubborn so it keeps filling back up.  We have him on a higher dose of antibiotics right now and then a follow-up appointment next week.  The vet said not to be worried, it's nothing too serious, we just need to find a way to kill the infection.  Unfortunately, it grows, then Sam scratches it and bursts it, then it starts leaking everywhere.  This has repeated itself a few times.  Plus, it happens to be in such a position to block a collar or head collar.  Sam has all his energy though, and you wouldn't know from his behavior that he has this problem.