How to prep dogs for incoming baby?

    • Bronze

    How to prep dogs for incoming baby?

    My wife and I are expecting in about 7 months and currently live together with two wonderful shelter dogs.

     I have ready through the threads and seen advice given to people experiencing trouble with their dogs during a pregnancy/new baby time, but I am curious if anyone has any general guidelines to try to follow to keep everyone safe, happy and loved.

     I am an active duty military officer, and the dogs have shown good flexibility with me deploying and coming home a year later, so I hope that the introduction of the new baby won't present any problems.

     
    Thanks for your time!

     

    • Gold Top Dog

    This is not rocket science although some folks will make you feel like it is Wink it is pretty simple.... It would help to have a clue as to the make up of breeds for your two furkids.. Herding breeds will have different attitudes than guarding breeds etc...

    So first thing first , RIGHT NOW, make sure the dogs have basic obedience training ...PERIOD.  You give a dog a job and it can relax and be happy,    even if the job is sit stay.... they know they are expected to do for the pack. 

    If your dogs are not crate trained Do It NOW.   Why ?  They need to be happy with a den when you haven't enough time to deal with them and I guarantee you with a baby there will be "times" .....Stick out tongue   If you suddenly slap them in crates because baby came home they will not adapt easily. If you start now they willl accept this is good time and place stuff, for example my pack of 9 are fed only in crates, they rush through the back door like a stampede of wild ponies to put themselves in in their own crates, they each have one, I have several extra and they do not go to the wrong crate.  Once in they sit or wiggle until their food dish is put in. Doors are shut and they are going to bein there for an hour or more. I also crate at meal times for the family.  With 5 kids in the house  from 2 to 8 yrs I don't want the dogs stealing or the kids getting over on me by passing the brussel sprouts to a Ridgeback that will then have killer gas !!

    I just mentioned my 5 ,  all were born into a household of dogs that had never seen a baby up close. All were cherished by the pack to an awesome level.  The first was a preemie and sooo teeny tiny  he was at his first dog show at 12 days old.  When his SIDS monitor would go off we quickly notciced the RRs paying attention , with in a week they would station themselves at crib side in shifts, and when he would begin to fall deeply asleep they would get up and nudge him breaking the probability of a SIDS incident.  They got so good at it the monitor rarely went off and we decided the baby did not "need" it...on New Years Eve 1999 we had crated the dogs as the Hubs and I were going out early and the daughter would be going out later... no one was there when he stopped breathing... my daughter found him blue as a smurf and thankfully I was able to resucitate him, he is the 8 almost 9 year old in our home.  Trust your dogs !!

    Jasmine my foundation girl would often place herself in the next baby's crib to snuggle close , this was a shock to find she had sproinked in to the tall crib never touching a hair on the baby's head she was about 70 pounds!  She is 13 now and still must accompany the kids when they play in the front unfenced yard.

    You will begin to baby proof your home and this is a good time to teach your two furkids to respect baby gates, My packs laughs as they hurdle over them.

    If you have friends with kids start taking the dogs around them, get them used to the weird way adults talk to babies, higher pitched and goofy.  And this may seem silly to a Military man but Ask the dogs "  Hey you want Momma and  Me To get You one of these??"  Talk TO them about the baby , get them used to hearing you and the emotion that is in your voice as you think about the child you are bringing home. I firmly believe dogs listen not simply to certain words but to the emotion in your voice and body. 

    Now here is the next most important thing to understand ...dogs will be dogs.  They will tear up dirty diapers and eat baby poo eeeooww Ick! They do not "get it " that you will be angry when they do so to avoid this make sure you have a rock solid plan for dirty diapers!! And baby bottles or pacifiers all obviously good chew toys Hey you keep giving to the new kid !!  Don't sweat small stuff like dog hair or spit on the baby  BELIEVE me by the time the kid id 18 he will have been into MUCH worst things!!  In our house Dog hair is both a fashion accesorry and a condiment at times...Tongue Tied  a spit up on onesie  is simply dirty laundry to you , your fur kids may find it fascinating.

    You may think , hmmmm orderly household, things well run how tough will this be??   Confused  pardon me a moment ROTFLMAO...... sigh... but seriously I am from a military family and my mother could not bear the thought of ever giving away our dalmation Suzie, she was snuck onto more Navy Bases than you could imagine !!  My mom would bake treats for the MPS and shamelessly bribe them into looking the other way when Suzie needed a walk... there were 6 of us kids but Mom managed to hang on to our four legged sibling till she passed from old age.you ALWAYS have to have a Plan B.... especially being Active military, DO NOT Leave it all up to your wife to sort out should you deploy, that baby comes first and then the dogs and that pressure can wreck a marriage.

    Before the baby comes home make sure the dogs understand the nursery is NOT off limits. IF you want them to give their life for your child they must feel he is part of their pack.  You tell them " Dad expects YOU to help take care of the baby "  tell them "This is YOUR baby too!"  Make sure DW is onboard.... as her pregnancy developes her furkids will know, they can hear that extra heart beat , they can feel the movement, when they come close for a snuggle.   Dogs included in the process will bond.   Dogs excluded will go on with their own lives....

    Dog proofing the baby is a piece of cake BUT baby proofing the dogs takes more work. We take Tremendous Pride in knowing No puppy EVER leaves our home afraid of kids. from first breath on there are toddlers in the whelping box and holding , handling pups.  the KIDS are taught to respect the dog.  We recently brought a pup home to train for one of our existing families , he will be added to the 8 1/2 year olds kingdom. He was NEVER exposed to kids as a pup so at 3 months he was terribly frightened of everyone new.  Blew my mind, simular pedigree several shared relatives all excelled with children, and here is a scardy cat who growled and grumbled every time the kids came near. With patience and awesome grandkids after 3 months he is finally pretty cool with them.  He knows where kids are coolies and crumbs are likely to follow... He will go to New York city later this year and be as bomb proofed as possible...he will have attended endless soccer and softball  games , stood in front of wal mart to listen to the chaos  and lear n to relax and trust the leash.   My grandkids know the only capital offenses in our home are simple play with fire,  be mean to a dog.  This is not a loss of privelage this will be Grandpa and a spanking.   Everything else is negociable.

    Right now your entire world is changing and Thankfully you are bright enough to know it. IF you want a successful transition seriously think about some of this advice ..... one more thing when I told you to trust your dogs I really meant it.  My kids were Junior Handlers in the show ring we realized the younger one had a drug problem not because she acted out or was ever seen stoned but because the dogs would NOT work for her.  They do not simply offer you comfort when alone , or protection from the things that go bump in the night they can save your life, my 13 year old is a self taught seisure alert dog and has gotten me off the road several times before I had  medication related seizures.  Had she not done so I would have been driving and the damage could have been horrific ! Another of our pups followed his young 4 year old master into the woods of his paternal grandfather's 300 acre estate, helicopters could not spot him and tracking dogs were called out. For the dog to have followed the boy he had to scale an 8 foot kennel , but he stuck like glue to Derreck's side until the sheriffs found them and then stayed inbetween them until the parents arrived NO ONE was touching his boy !  Another alerted for two and half weeks on his Dad's face , finally the owner a second generation RR owner  stopped by to ask me "why?"  I talked with him and being a retired RN I asked him to call his wife,  on the phone with her I asked when his last physical had been  "ohhh ages ago" she responded I said PLEASE MAKE HIM GO TO THE DOCTOR.  She took my advice and he went, two days later had a quadruple bi pass the doctors called it a "Widow Maker"  Silent and deadly only the dog knew his dad was in trouble.  Zeke rules the roost at that house, he is spared no comfort and denied nothing !

    Having a dog in your child's life is important for a million reasons,  learning to share, to behave , to understand  unspoken emotion and even more  at some time in the future dealing with the loss of a furry sibling.  Children who experience this understand  life on a basic and normal level. They cope better going through life then people who have never dealt with a loss.   Never tell your child "Spot went to a farm to play "  let them see and understand the finality of death , allow them to grieve, they will be better people for it.

    If you EVER have a question  please email me , I seriously doubt ANYTHING could come up that I have not dealt with in 27 + years in this breed and after always having a dog in my life.  When I did not have small kids in the house I rented them ! Anything to make sure My Dogs would be the best Ambassadors for my breed.  You can check out my rather photo heavy profile for snaps of the grand kids with the Ridgebacks. There is one in there of Jasmine in the Crib with baby Bobby !

    Best of Luck to you and your Wife !!

    Bonita of Bwana

     

     

    • Silver

     This is an amazing post!  My girlfriend and I are not thinking of having kids just yet, but the info in this post will definitely come in handy one day. 


    • Gold Top Dog

    Thank you for the kind words,  If you ever have a concern or question about incorporating dogs and kids, feel free to holler.Wink dogs and kids are an amazing adventure !

    Bonita of Bwana

    • Gold Top Dog

    If there is anything you will implement when the baby comes along - eg, no dogs allowed in certain rooms (eg the nursery) or no dogs on furniture... then start that NOW. 

    You will both have slightly less time for the dogs once the baby arrives.  Get them used to it NOW by making sure they both have  a little "down time" (that is, away from humans for a short while maybe with a chew or bone to keep them occupied) every day.  I would also start ignoring THEIR attempts to initiate attention and games most of the time if you don't already do that - the last thing you want is a dog nudging or jumping up or just doing attention seeking pesky stuff when you have a newborn baby in your arms.  Get them used to the idea - gradually - that your attention being directed elsewhere is no big deal.... and if you start now, theres no way it will be associated with the little one.

     If they don't already have crates - get some!  They are a great tool.  Ours were used to crates before my baby arrived.  Now that my baby is just a little older, the fact that they have a "den" that he is NOT allowed to go near gives them an option OTHER than getting snarky if they want to be left alone.  They have a bolt hole if you like.... I make sure they ALWAYS have the option of Flight.

    Go over the basic obedience stuff and make sure that is WELL PRACTISED.  It's not too early to start that either.... NILIF is a good way do to that, just ask the dog to do something for you anytime he wants something. 

     Dog gates are your friend!

    • Bronze

     Thanks for the time invested and knowlege shared; between the L&D tours and Lamaze books I wanted to make sure the dogs weren't left out of this equation.

     

    Its refreshing to meet some other people that "get it" instead of arbitrarily banishing the dogs to the backyard and boredom as soon as baby is born.

     

     

    Thanks again! 

    • Gold Top Dog

     just dropping in to say welcome to the forum, and congrats on the expected baby!

    i myself only "get" the dog part. no experience with kids, YET.... Big Smile

    • Gold Top Dog

    Bonita nailed it on the head!

    I too am expecting and in addition to what Bonita suggested I have started.....

    -not allowing the dogs on my bed because I don't want to kick them off when the baby comes so as not to instill any resentment in them. However my dogs have always waited to be invited on the bed and after the baby comes I don't plan on having the baby sleep with us so most likely I'll still treasure that cuddle time with my pups

    -Ditto with couches and other furniture

    -if your dog is a puller you gotta nip that in the bud now. My girl is nor but my male can be sometimes. I want to be able to walk one of the dogs alongside the stroller so if you plan on the same I would beef up their heeling and no pulling skills. Once you get the stroller do practice runs so they get used to it. Some dogs can also be afraid of it.

    -Set a boundary for the nursery. I've started making them wait outside the room that will be the nursery. Thats not to say I wont ever invite them in but they need to respect the babies room. Plus Rory is a stuffed animal KILLER, she will rip em all apart......I still don't know what I'm gonna do about that, LOL!

    -If your going to have baby gates in the house practice using them now.

    -If you have any friends with babies let them come over so the dogs can learn to respect boundaries with the kids. Thankfully my husbands cousin just had twins and they are over all the time. The've pooped, cried, and napped on the couch. Both of my dogs learned fairly quickly to respect their space and I am happy with thier performance.

    Make sure your dog has its own cozy safe place away from crying and baby hands. There is a big dog bed in my room that the dogs can retreat to and do utilize if we have a lot of people over.

    Don't forget the dog......exercise him as much as possible after the baby comes. I know its gonna be a lot of work but it will be for the better of the pack. Ask family members to help with their walks and remind visitors to not forget to say Hi to the dogs. Too many dogs get pushed to the wayside when the baby comes and thats just not fair.

    Good luck and congrats!

    • Gold Top Dog

    AuroraLove
    Don't forget the dog......exercise him as much as possible after the baby comes. I know its gonna be a lot of work but it will be for the better of the pack.

     

    Absolutely AMEN!  After Will arrived, I would do the evening walk with the dogs, and Daddy had some time bonding with the little one.  It worked out great for everybody;

    It was great for Mum - I got some "me time", which was refreshing and helped me be a better mum when I got back!  I'm sure it helped me get my shape back too, although I had to take it very easy at first.

    It was great for the dogs - they got some much deserved quality time, which was at a real premium!

    It was great for the little one because he spent most of his time with ME and it was nice for him to get to know his Daddy.

    And it was great for Dad for the same reason and it meant when he was left babysitting he didn't feel awkward with him or anything which I think he would have done otheriwse.... he is not a "baby-person"! 

    • Gold Top Dog

    Please dont hate me for posting this but everytime I think about getting the baby aquainted with the dogs I think of this poem and VOW to not push my dogs aside.....I cant read it now, I already know what it says......maybe you shouldnt let your wife read it but it is VERY real and very common. I guess sadness loves comapny too so here I am sharing it with all of you.....

     

    "When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent, and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

    She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

    I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

    They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room.

    She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

    ..And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty."  
     

    • Bronze

     Well thought out poem, and very sad and dark.  I know this is THE reality for a lot of animals (my two dogs are both shelter dogs) and I will NEVER let my dogs not be part of our family.

     My wife is a "dog person" (I don't think I could marry someone who was not) and we have already begun crate training and basic obedience training with our two dogs at the house.

     
    I really appreciate the guidance and interest that everyone has shown in this topic; the hard thing for my family is my (fairly) frequent deployments...coming in the new year my wife will be a "single parent of three; two dogs and one baby" again as I head out of the country. 

     
    I think the bottom line that I see in all of this is acccepting responsibility as the adult, parent and owner ("pet guardian" or whatever) and realizing that you owe quality of life to more than just yourself.

     
    Again, its great to hear from people that "get it" about the love for your animals and wanting to be a responsible parent.

     

    -Patrick
     

    • Gold Top Dog

     My advice is to get a CD of a baby crying, and then play it at doggy feeding time.  The noise will predict good things happening for the dog, and they will get used to the squalling without being alarmed by it.  

    Good resources:

    http://www.dogwise.com/ItemDetails.cfm?ID=DTB725 

    http://www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com/

    http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Puppies-Kids-Together-Parents/dp/0793805686

    http://www.dogwise.com/ItemDetails.cfm?ID=DTB865 

    • Gold Top Dog

     Plus you will have a dog who comes to "tell" you if the baby is crying.  We had no need of a baby monitor after the first week Smile