need advice

First things first; I am so sorry this has happened, and I know how very hard it is to love a dog with "issues," and wonder whether or not you are going to make it.

I would begin with a vet visit, to make sure the problem isn't medical. Because the dog clearly has other health issues, the personality changes you noted (being aggressive with your other dog and with your husband) may be a result of pain or medical problems. Many times, when dogs are in extreme pain, they become excessively cranky with other dogs or even people, so you really should make this your first stop.

If the vet bill comes back clean, it's time to do some training. By making excuses for the dog rather than addressing the problem immediately, you've allowed this behavior to progress to the point where the dog is now running the show. This cannot be allowed to continue.

Without seeing the behavior, I can't make a judgement, but it does sound like the dog may be making a play for leader of your pack - he's decided you and your husband are not running the show, so he will (which would explain the more aggressive behavior with the other dog as well). This can usually be fixed, but your dog basically needs doggie boot camp, meaning you have to take control back and make it clear to the dog who is in charge. I would strongly advise you get a trainer or behaviorist to help you get your dog back on the right track, as you said there are several issues there, and you could do more harm than good by trying to accomplish this yourself without the benefit of a trainer's experience and knowledge.

Be sure the trainer has dealt with aggression issues before -- you don't just need someone to teach sit and down, you need someone with experience handling "hard" dogs. Before hiring a trainer, ask about their experience with rescues, aggression, abused dogs, etc., and ask to observe a class or private lesson. Also, ask for references -- nothing will give you more confidence than talking to one of the trainer's clients who had an aggression problem that was solved.

For what it's worth, I think you have a lot of good options without having to put the dog to sleep. I do understand your fears of having a hundred pound dog that doesn't listen and could possibly harm someone. But before you throw out the dog with the bathwater, talk to an expert. A lot of these issues can be cleared up simply by having both of you work with the dog to establish your control, using obedience, NLIF, etc.

Good luck to you!

Jan

A lot of these issues can be cleared up simply by having both of you work with the dog to establish your control, using obedience, NLIF, etc.

 
Oh you have no idea how much i needed that advice. it seems like everyone has been telling me to just put him down. i was beginning to think i might be crazy for thinking it was "fixable". 
 
thanks again!

Hey, don't make any more excuses like "whew, now I don't have to put him down" and just go off into la la land.  You have a serious problem that you need help from a professional with!!!!  This is a dog that has bitten *and punctured* human skin multiple times.  He's serious.  Dogs that are "just arthritic" and have good bite thresholds will warn with an air snap, or maybe touch skin, but not put holes in anyone.  Your dog sees you as his property, he sees your hubby as a rival for his "resource" and you are in deep doggy doo doo without help, and maybe with it.  Find a qualified humane trainer (aggressing against an aggressive dog usually makes things worse) or behaviorist.
Aggression that is left untreated, and I mean properly, usually gets worse.  You need some management skills, too, since it rarely goes completely away.  Do this with  your eyes wide open.  And, if it turns out that he is not salvageable, or at least manageable, don't release him to someone else's care.  Have him end his time here in your loving arms.  I'm not saying that's what will happen - some dogs do very well, but rehoming him would be unethical at best, and a huge liability at worst.  Sorry you are having to deal with this, but at least by stopping the excuse making, you are headed in the right direction.
Good book for you - "Click to Calm" by Emma Parsons.  It deals with a dog-aggressive dog, but the techniques work in other situations as well.  And, don't be afraid to muzzle your dog - just get him used to the muzzle gradually.  One other thing you can try, so that the dog has more respect for your hubby is to have hubby feed him for a month while you give him nothing.