Dog Only Aggressive Towards Me?

Sounds to me like classic resource guarding with your husband as her "resource".  By spanking her you are showing her that human hands can hurt her which may actually increase the snapping.  In my opinion, this has nothing to do with pack order.

You need to make your approach something she anticipates rather than something she dislikes.  Don't pick her up from your husband's lap.  Instead, get some tasty treats and when you want her to get off his lap, toss the treats on the floor.  Make a game of it.  Have your husband get her back in his lap and repeat this as much as possible, over multiple days.  Do the same thing with the bed scene.  It takes some prior planning but it's well worth the effort.  You will have to do it enough times to truly make it work.

What this does is countercondition her emotional response to your approach.  It's something that works and is a proven method for changing a dog's behavior.  The key to changing behaviors in dogs is to use rewards (positive reinforcement) to reward the behavior you want.  Ignore behaviors you don't want.  Punishment is more likely to make her more aggressive towards you so you may find that it takes more work on your part to change her behavior toward you.   I'm not sure where you've been reading online about how to change this behavior but it's nothing to do with pack behavior. 

Look at Patricia McConnell, Jean Donaldson, Sophia Yin, Ian Dunbar and Pat Millar's sites for additional tips and advice. 

http://www.patriciamcconnell.com/cms-category/dog-training-tips

With protection trained GSDs I allow guarding of myself but *not* towards other members of the household.  If my dog behaved that way I would not allow it on my bed or lap.  For me that is a privilege the dog earns.  I decide who can sit with me or sleep on the bed and I only allow dogs that are respectful towards everyone in the house (people and dogs).  If one of mine ever started guarding me from my husband, that would be a swift kick off the bed and a loss of that privilege until the inappropriate guarding was dealt with.

Liesje

If one of mine ever started guarding me from my husband, that would be a swift kick off the bed and a loss of that privilege until the inappropriate guarding was dealt with.

That method may work for you because I know you have some dog training experience.  For the average dog owner, that method wouldn't really do much toward changing the behavior and could make the dog more likely to aggress toward the person approaching.  I'd rather recommend a leash be kept on the dog so the dog could be removed without getting too close and setting the dog's reaction off.  The husband could also remove the dog before it reacts which avoids completely the need for the other person to reach toward the dog.  I've known people who inadvertantly reinforce this type of behavior because they do believe the dog prefers them over the other person and they enjoy that feeling.  I'm not saying that's the case here but it's certainly a possibility in some cases.

I don't think in most cases of this type of behavior that it involves the dog feeling it's privileged.  I think it's more about resource guarding.

 I'll have to try this with the treats...I hate it that she acts this way because she is usually a pretty loving dog otherwise....hopefully this will work. Thank you!

TaraRae

She growls and bites typically when I go to pick her up off my husband's lap. My husband also goes to bed earlier than I do along with our dog and when I come to bed I make her come out to go potty before I lay down...she growls and throws a fit snapping at me when i try to remove her from the bed.

I could be wrong but I'm wondering if this has nothing to do with resource guarding but is just her inappropriate way of saying "leave me alone". Still a problem either way though. I think Jackie's suggestion is perfect and having had a dog with some of the same issues, I can tell you that it works and in our case, it worked quickly.

cakana

I could be wrong but I'm wondering if this has nothing to do with resource guarding but is just her inappropriate way of saying "leave me alone".

Yes, it could be something along those lines, Cathy.  We don't always know why dogs act the way they do and not knowing the dog or the people, it's tough to speculate.  I wonder how much some small dogs like being held and grabbed for transport. I don't carry Twister around much other than to put him in the truck or when it's really necessary. Many tolerate it but that's not the same as enjoying it.

 I suggest you use the treats version which has already been described.

 Willy arrived here at age 7.  He was not trained (except potty trained thank goodness!) and had been allowed to become a tyrant.  First problem we had here:  he settled in my Dad's lap and would growl and bite me if I told him to get off.  He'd do the same to dad!  Dad was trapped under him, ha haaa.

We did use treats, and also I found if I used a leash, hooked it to itself, looped it over his head, then he would readily get off.   I had to do this in a lasso type movement, I was not allowed to touch him to attach leash to his collar, either. 

Keep a baggie in the fridge, filled with high value treats.  Bits of hot dog, cheese, boiled boneless skinless chicken breast all work well.  Do NOT use the dog's kibble, that is not a high value item at all.    To give you an idea of size: one hot dog makes 88 treats.  I've never managed to get more than 66, but this gives you and idea how small the bits are.  Of course at the start, you will use 4 and 5, you really want this doggie excited about doing whatever and getting those yummy treats!

Willy now (almost 2 years later) readily complies with all commands - and often FLIES to the fridge, and waits for his treat, ha haaa.  It CAN be done!

Will you be taking this dog to training classes?  Based on the 2 posts of yours I've read, I highly suggest it - for YOU, and your husband, to learn how to work best with the dog.

 Thanks Freedom. I've thought about enrolling her in some classes...may need to. Your bichons are really cute!

I like what JackieG  and what Freedom says about positive training as I had so many aggression problems with Dijon. Dijon did the same thing to my wife Amy but he would not alow her around me at all. We did alot of training with Dijon and let him know Aggression is not allowed. He has a very senisive stomach so I bought Natural Balance dog food you can buy it at Petsmart or Petco looks like sauage bag. Dijon likes Lamb and rice flavor. I would cut food into slices then cut the slices into small squares. I found most dogs love this for a treat I can make friends with about any dog using these treats. Tis is a dog food but is very tasty and soft. Ounce you open the package and cut it up it hat to be refrigerated. Dijon is now a very well mannered boy, it took alot of work and alot of treats No sticks or beating or abuse I onlu used positive reinforcement. What can I say I love him as much as he loves me. Never give up any dog can be trained and you do not have to beat them to do it. After all Dijon wheighs in at about 65 to 70 pounds alot of dog if ya can't control him. Most of the traing I did myself had to let him know Amy is part of the family also. Took a while but he came around he loves Amy as well as me now. There Ain't much ya can't do witha a dog if ya got pleanty of treats.

Chris The Poodle Daddy

All Dogs go to heaven.

JackieG

Liesje

If one of mine ever started guarding me from my husband, that would be a swift kick off the bed and a loss of that privilege until the inappropriate guarding was dealt with.

 

That method may work for you because I know you have some dog training experience.  For the average dog owner, that method wouldn't really do much toward changing the behavior and could make the dog more likely to aggress toward the person approaching.  I'd rather recommend a leash be kept on the dog so the dog could be removed without getting too close and setting the dog's reaction off.  The husband could also remove the dog before it reacts which avoids completely the need for the other person to reach toward the dog.  I've known people who inadvertantly reinforce this type of behavior because they do believe the dog prefers them over the other person and they enjoy that feeling.  I'm not saying that's the case here but it's certainly a possibility in some cases.

I don't think in most cases of this type of behavior that it involves the dog feeling it's privileged.  I think it's more about resource guarding.

No I don't think a dog knows what a privilege is which is precisely the issue.  In my world, spending time in a human's lap up on furniture is a privilege while a dog might just assume it his right because he likes to do it or because he is resource guarding.  I personally don't really care the reason (habit, resource guarding, aggressive dog, whatever), either the dog is respectful and behaves or he doesn't and if he doesn't, then no more lap/couch/bed until he behaves.  I do think that the husband should also be involved.  If my dogs were doing that stuff at my husband,*I* would step in an correct it by removing the dog and not expect him to deal with a dog that is snapping at him.  I actually ask him about this a lot, as he often comes to bed and Nikon (who is 100% *my* dog) is in his spot and he has to move him, but he insists that Nikon just leaves without being told or he says "off" and Nikon gets off.  Luckily I've never had any issues with my GSDs trying to guard me from my DH or just being snarky at him, but with my two males I've observed that they want to get snarky with each other over who is next to me.  In those situations, the offending dog (or both) are not allowed near me, I make it clear that acting that way just gets them tossed out of the room but being calm and polite towards each other ears them a spot on the couch.

TaraRae

 Thanks Freedom. I've thought about enrolling her in some classes...may need to. Your bichons are really cute!

Yes, please do enroll this dog in some classes. However, please be sure that this dog is enrolled in classes where you will be using positive reinforcement. 

 This link can help you find a facility near you:

 http://www.apdt.com/petowners/ts/default.aspx

You want a place which teaches using positive reinforcement, and a trainer who has dogs in conformation, Agility, Herding, Flyball - SOMETHING so he / she had lots of experience working with dogs and reading body language.  The trainer will pass along this knowledge to you, how to read your dog.  Most places charge a fee per dog, so the entire family (children need to be about age 10 to 12 to follow along) can attend.  This way you are all learning the same things. The dog won't learn much in one hour - YOU learn and then the practices and home work is key to success.