Stopping Separation Anxiety

How long have you had Molly? 

I am certainly no expert, but I have experienced Separation Anxiety with Bruder.  He was a rescue; and goodness only knows what happened in his life before me.  I do know he was picked up wandering the streets...and that he lived with a foster family before being put up for adoption and then ultimately with me.

It actually took a couple of weeks for him to feel comfortable around the family...he kind of kept a paw's distance when we were sitting around, lounging.  I would invite him over...and he would come.  My only point is that it took him a bit to figure out that this is his forever home, he will be safe and fed and loved.

Bruder would display SA when I left him behind the gate to walk across the street (all of 20 feet) to get the mail or whatever.  He would whine, bark and look worried as I closed the gate behind him.  I did ignore him and go on with my business of picking up the mail, the paper, bringing in the garbage...then come right back in the gate and walk up to the house.  I did not wait for him to be calm...did not have any expectations whatsoever.  No response to his behavior, just ignored it...talked to the other dogs and basically just went on with my business.  In his case, he learned that I'd be coming back into the gate and all would be well...life goes on.

To this day, he is and likely always be a velcro dog...must be as close as possible, but that's ok with me, I can live with that.

I would say give off utter love and "you are safe" energy...without coddling of course.  I think she will learn that you are her forever mama and in the meantime...love and play.  Try playing some hide and seek games maybe.  Go hide somewhere and when she finds you have a party and offer treats.  I'm sure the trainers here will come up with techniques to help.

She is adorable!  Good luck with Molly.

(psst Barbara -- "her forever papa"!!)

ALOK -- Welcome Back!!!  Missed ya!

Tiny tiny steps.  What I always do -- particularly with the car is say "Ok -- gonna get gas, Watch me! ssshhhhhh!" (classic finger to lips shhh gesture).  And if she breaks and starts to whine - stop, look her in the eye and again "Shhhh" (finger to lips) ... when she stops "Better!" and continue around the car. 

But CHAT to her -- connect with your voice ... AND your hands.  Because she can see your hands from FAR away.  Give her "approval" with a big smile, with a wink, a nod of your head -- make them ALL meaningful to her.  You can do ALL of those things and use them as immediate reinforcement just like you'd use a clicker (except they are always with you).  EVen a 'thumbs up' can be a praise command if she knows you do it when you're pleased with her.

Then ... play a little game ... start it in the house.  And again ... "shhh but I"m going right behind the door" and step behind the door but leave your hand or a foot showing and again QUICK positive reinforcement with a "GOOD girl!" or a grin or wink as she's quite when your face goes out of sight.  Gradually lengthen it -- first getting your whole body "out of sight" behind a door or doorway for half a heartbeat and a fast GOOD GIRL!

Play it often .... and gradually increase (and I mean gradually -- you want success here so "appear" before she can really make any sound -- woo her with this and let her build trust while thinking ti's a game. 

But talk to this dog a LOT.  "I'm going to the kitchen ... you Sit.  Stay/!"  get TO the kitchen and CALL her.  Again - play this as a game -- sometimes call her 'come' and sometimes let her keep the 'sit' and bring something back as a treat. 

Even if it takes you 2 weeks to fully 'disappear' behind the door and work up to even 5 seconds of silence -- that's a big deal to her.  Gradually -- VERY gradually go a bit further away.  Be gone a bit longer.  Then build up to going out the door and then in. 

But with a dog like this (particularly one who has been 'abandoned' and likely starved and abused) you build trust slowly and by buildin HER up. 

if you possibly can -- get her into an obedience class.  She's super motivated to please you ... and a structured class with other dogs, and gaining YOUR approval is a big fat deal.  But it will build her up.

I've always found that a voice connection is a big deal.  Telling a dog like this normal stuff like "I'm going to the kitchen, you stay here".  and "i'm going for groceries, you stay here".  They are similiar but she WILL learn those words ... she'll learn "kitchen" is in the house and close.     "take out the trash" means the door opens and closes but you'll stay in sniffing distance.  "groceries" is you going in the car but not a long time.  "Work" is all day long but back before supper". 

They DO learn vocabulary and a SA dog often will cue in on the vocabulary and it helps them worry less.

Good luck. 

calliecritturs

(psst Barbara -- "her forever papa"!!)

Apologies! 

Haha, no I'm a momma!  No worries, alittleoffkey is a little ambiguous.

Thanks for all the suggestions, I'll definitely take them all to heart. She's a thinker - I think the "Hey, I'm getting the groceries! I'm getting the mail!" thing will work great with her.

 Thanks again!

alittleoffkey

Haha, no I'm a momma!  No worries, alittleoffkey is a little ambiguous.

*now wondering how many gender inappropriate comments I've screwed up in the past*

Sorry!! (trying to remove foot from mouth ... er ... fingers?? Nevermind!)