New member of the family is afraid of my husband

    • Bronze

    New member of the family is afraid of my husband

     We recently (4 weeks ago) added a new member to our family: a 7 month old female maltese.  We already have a 14 year old Old English Sheepdog and a 5 year old Maltese, both neutered males.  I wanted another Maltese and decided that now was a good time, out old guy is sadly nearing end of life and the 5 year old is already missing having a buddy to play with.  I thought the new dog would ease the transition when the time came for my old guy to leave.   I worried so over how the three dogs would integrate that I never considered there would be problems with the humans.

     

    The dogs bonded immediately.  The three get along as if they have been together forever.  The boys adore the girl and follow her around like she is the Queen of all there is.  Sophie (the new Malt) came out of her crate at the airport wagging her tail and giving me kisses, she seemed to know immediately that I was Mom. 

     

    The problem is my Husband.  She hates him, is terrified of him, growls and runs when he approaches.  He is a very nice person, kind and gentle and loves the dogs.  She hates him.  His feelings are hurt.  I have tried the traditional advice: he gives her special treats (which she will now take from him-which is progress), he feeds her, never stars at her and generally does not react to her barking.  For my part I do not try to comfort her when she barks and growls at him but try to ignore her til she calms down.  

     

    She came from a very reputable breeder, was reportedly socialized and taken to shows as a puppy.  I have no reason to believe that she was ever abused or mistreated by a man.  

     

    Am I expecting too much too soon?  Is there anything else I can do to convince her that doggy daddy is a really nice guy and it would be in her best interest to make peace with him?    She was recently spayed and according to the Vet staff did growl at some of them, so far the only person I have seen her growl at is DH.  The growl never turns aggressive, she has never nipped and generally is she growls when he approached she stops when he picks her up.

     

    HELP?

    • Gold Top Dog

    Graydon
    Am I expecting too much too soon?

    Pretty much. 4 weeks is too soon to be resolved at 100% but you are doing everything right and you already saw that there is progress. If your husband does not lean over her whatsoever and approaches her (only if really needed) sideways instead of forward that would also help

    • Gold Top Dog

    I'm thinking she wasn't as well socialized as she should have been, especially to men she doesn't know. Despite many breeders' belief that taking a dog to dogs shows is all the socialization they need, it's far from the truth. Not saying that is what this breeder did or said but I've known lots who do believe that,despite the proof to the contrary.  At seven months, she's well past the period when that is done easily.  I agree that you are doing everything right.  I would start having your husband feed her her meals.  I know you said he is feeding her treats and goodies but I would have all food come from him.  Give it some more time. 

    • Gold Top Dog

     And some dogs, despite best attempts, are just shy. That's a pretty good reason to remove a dog from your breeding program at 6 months.

     

    I have never had one quite so shy with people in the home, but I'd probably try ignoring her. Not ignoring her needs, but having as MUCH as possible come from Dad, and ALL attention comes from Dad. 

    • Gold Top Dog

    jennie_c_d
    And some dogs, despite best attempts, are just shy.

     

    Yep, very good point.

    • Bronze

     He does feed her her evening meal, unfortunately my hours are such that i get up very early so I do feed her in the morning. 

     

    I never really did know why the breeder decided against showing her, it may be shyness as she is not the most outgoing dog I have ever know.  At 7 months she had been tatooed and was in full coat so obviously the breeder was headed to showing her.  

     

    Last night she climbed up on husbands chest which was a first.  We generally watch TV for an hour or two before going to sleep and take the two dogs to bed with us (they sleep in their crates).  The two maltese play on the bed between us.  Last night she actually approached him and climbed up on his chest for a treat that was there.  He ignored her completely but put another treat there later and she came back. 

     

    So we are making progress.  I just wish she would be as loving to him as she is to me.