first time dog owner - need moral support!

Hi and welcome to the forum!
 
Bless you for rescuing Jobi []. Don't feel like a bad doggy mommy! The fact that you're here, asking for advice shows that you're most certainly not.
Just remember that three weeks isn't a very long time at all! It can sometimes take a few months for dogs to settle into their new homes, so Jobi might still be getting the hang of things. 
 
It sounds like there's two separate issues here, toilet training, and boredom/confinement.
 
Dogs don't generalise very well (so don't poop in one house doesn't necessarily mean don't poop in another), so that might explain the accidents during the day.
A crate is a very useful thing to use when you go out because it keeps your dog safe, and stops him from getting into things he shouldn't, and also helps with toilet training because a dog naturally won't want to defecate where it sleeps (although there are some exceptions). I would seriously encourage you to get one as it would solve a lot of your problems!
 
One of the best ways to deal with boredom is to tire your dog out before you leave home, so he just sleeps the majority of the time you're away. How much exercise is he getting in the morning before you leave?
Another good way to tire them out is by doing some training (e.g. freeshaping with a clicker), or by making them work for their breakfast, by putting them in toys that make them think (like the Buster cube, and Busy ball), or even just hiding or scattering them around the house/garden.
 
Also, Kongs are fantastic for keeping dogs amused while they're left alone- you can fill it up with food and treats and freeze it, and it will keep the dog occupied for a while.
 
Anyway, I hope that helps! [] Hopefully others will chime in later with more advice.
 
Good luck!

he still climbs all over the apartment (and sometimes marks or poops) when i'm not there.

Sounds like he was given too much freedom too soon.  Time to get a crate or some place to confine him when you can't monitor his behavior.  How long is your run in the morning?  Bostons can be more energetic than some people expect, so more outdoor time could be helpful - a tired dog is a happy dog.  A good game of two-ball fetch is helpful - wears the dog out chasing back and forth between two toys while you get to stay stationary when he drops the first in order to seek out the second thrown in the opposite direction.
 
Him following you around and whining could be a demanding behavior - which means he's using a mechanism to get what he wants, your attention.  Good for you for teaching him some obedience.  Keep that up, and expand upon it.  Practice more and more under more distractions so that it doesn't become rote and he's bored already (or just using his other mechanism - compliance- to get what he wants.)  I'm sure others will be along soon to help w/more info.  Hang in - you got a dog thinking you could handle it... and now you need to be encouraged to do so.

Re Potty Problems:  It's quite common for a dog to "regress" in toilet training when they move house - it's stressful enough for us humans but at least we know what is going on.  Fear and anxiety lessen the control he has over his bladder and bowels.  Also, as already said, they don't generalise well.  Bear in mind that the fosters may have said they don't have any issues with house training, but they were probably extremely vigilant, kept him confined if unable to supervise and let him out to eliminate very frequently.  Did they tell you anything of their potty routine so you could copy it?  What sort of treat does he get for going in the right place?  Treble it's value - think of the smelliest stickist tastiest disgusting thing you can find.  I like to use liver cake but if that is too much of a faff then cut up hot dog ssg is a winner as well.

Re : Exercise/boredom:  Very good suggestions re exercise, interactive toys etc, so nothing to add except to emphasise just how tiring a clicker training can be, even only 10 minutes.  Do some research on it if you've never used one before so you get the best out of it.  Do a forum search, google it, buy a book, buy your clicker, charge it up and think of soemthing fun and imaginative to teach him.  Most dogs love it and you'll probably find you have great fun with it too.

Re Crates:  Providing him with a crate is an excellent suggestion, not only is confinement necessary at the moment to stop bad habits becoming ingrained, if introduced properly the crate will give him a coping mechanism while you are not there.  You can do a forum search on "seperation anxiety" and "crates" to get more info, but here are just a few tips....

• Never use it as a punishment
  
• Introduce it gradually, never leave him in there so long he starts to hate it or is forced to soil it.  This will be very distressing for him and if he overcomes his natural inhibition against soiling on or near his bed, you will have lost a very effective tool for helping get him completely house broken.
  
• Make it a wonderful place to be - make it very comfy and put treats and toys in there for him to find. 
  
• Feed his meals in there. 
  
• Make sure he only gets high value chews/bones/Kongs when shut in there.  (Not only will this save your carpet, it will also mean he is impatient to get in there so he can have the special treat!)
  
• Put a blanket over it to make it more like a den
  
• Leave an old shirt with your scent on it to help reassure him. 
  
• Try plugging a dap diffuser in nearby or spraying some directly into the crate.

Keep us posted how he gets on.....

If you can't afford training, vet bills, crates, etc., it doesn't seem like you made a good decision getting a dog at this point, but now that you have him, we are very willing on this board to try to help you keep him - especially with your attitude ("please tell me I can do this").  Even well-equipped savvy dog owners have moments of "buyer's regret" or "adopter's regret".  It's normal.  But, the good news is that you CAN do it.

Here's a great, cheap book on housetraining:
"Way to Go" by Patricia McConnell - www.dogsbestfriendtraining.com

Here's a series of free lessons and free training videos:
www.clickerlessons.com
www.clickertrainusa.com

It might be cheaper to buy your crate right here at dog.com than from a retailer)

PS.  You're not a bad mother!  You want what's best for the dog and you're doing your best to achieve it, hold on to that thought.
 
Your current situation is not ideal for getting a dog, but few situations are and most are workable.  Ones like yours take more effort that's all.
 
Just thought I'd add:  have you considered a dog walker?  If you can't afford one, is there a neighbour you are friendly with that you trust to spend some time with the dog each day?  TIP:  Be friendly with the elderly in your area!  IME, they are often grateful for the chance to do a favour like this and get as much out of it as you or the dog do.

Keep in mind too that walking on a leash is not always that tiring for dogs. Mine is still full of energy after an on-leash walk. I take her to a nearby ball diamond (it's fenced) and let her run around - then she sleeps for 4 hours easily.
 
Good luck!

thank you for replying, everyone.  it's very late here so i will reply with more depth tomorrow.

Even well-equipped savvy dog owners have moments of "buyer's regret" or "adopter's regret". It's normal.

 
This is so true.  Happens to the best of us.  I had worked around dogs for years when I adopted Blitz.  After the first week, I thought either I was going to have to jump off a bridge, or he was.  I had simply never worked with a dog with this much drive, and was completely over-faced.  However, now that I understand Blitz, and his needs, I absolutely can't imagine my life without him.  He is now a beloved pet, friend, affectionate little brother to my big boy, my agility partner, etc.
 
One thing that really helped us was signing up for positive training classes.  I adopted both dogs as adults, and enrolled both of them in class within weeks of bringing them home (several years apart).  Best thing I ever did, for each dog.  Blitz has taken 5 classes in the past year.  LOL!  I think we'll keep going until we run out of classes to take, and even then may repeat.  He needs the stimulation.  He was intent on destroying the doggie toy basket until I got him into class. []  Do you have access to classes near where you live?
 
Hang in there, keep learning and seeking more information, and you two will make it.  I have a full-time job now, but had both dogs when I was a full-time student with TWO internships.  Taking good care of them required a lot of me running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but it was worth it. []

one of the good aspects of taking a group dog training class is seeing that everyone is having the same, or similar, problems. Instant support group. Plus dog training classes are very mentally tiring for dogs. I'm sure you can scrape up the $100 such classes cost. Think of it as an investment in your mental health.

ORIGINAL: mudpuppy
Think of it as an investment in your mental health.

[]

Keep him in a crate when you aren't home. The crate should be large enough so he can stand and turn around but not so large that he can go in a corner and do his 'business'.Show him the crate with a really good treat in your hand, toss in the treat and say, "crate". Leave the door open so he can come back out and when he does, praise him. Do this often and close the door, praise him while he's inside then let him out. Dogs are den animals and believe it or not, they like to be in a place where it's safe. You might have to work with him to let him get adjusted to the crate. Like the other posters said, your dog is in a new place and he is stressed. Research shows that it takes twelve months for most dogs to become completely comfortable in a new environment. Never let your new dog have the 'run' of your house. He doesn't need to do this and it isn't helping matters. If you think he is suffering from seperation anxiety, train him to feel secure. Put him in his crate, pick up your keys and purse and go out the door and lock it (so he gets used to the sound of you leaving). Don't say anything to him, don't tell him bye bye or anything. Just leave. Stay outside for a couple of minutes and come back in. Don't make a big deal out of it, don't fuss over him. Open the crate door, make him sit then tell him to "come". Next time, stay out longer and longer.You have to think of a pack of wild dogs or wolves. The leader comes and goes whenever they feel like it and they don't announce it to the rest of the pack, they just go. They don't announce it when they return. The leader nevers fusses over the pack for any reason at all so if you do this to your dog (I'm not saying you do but if you make a fuss when you leave), this only increases the dog's anxiety. When I leave for work, I pick up my stuff and go. Nothing said. When I come home, I take my time letting my dogs out. I put down my stuff, take off my shoes, read my mail, get a drink of water, etc. My dogs are besides themselves to see me just like subordinates in a pack but I remain aloof, I don't say anything, I don't pet them, I just tell them to "sit" at the door, I step out first then tell them to go. This is a huge thing to a dog. This is showing my dogs that I am the leader and I will come and go at will without any fanfair. My dogs don't suffer from seperation anxiety and two of them have free run of my house because they behave. My youngest dog stays in a crate because she can't be trusted yet. Learn to be a pack leader and build a relationship with your dog AS a pack leader. Dogs don't like to be leaders but if you don't assume the role, your dog will.Good luck with  your new forever friend!!

thank you so much for everyone's help; while i think some of the things suggested may not be right for me, i do appreciate your concern for my doggie and me!
 
something in me is against keeping any animal locked in a cage, but after talking to multiple dog owners i know plus the foster mom (not to mention all the replies here), i'm going to petsmart to buy a crate tomorrow.  i've been considering it for awhile, but now i'm going to just buckle down.  jobi is such a little goober!  i came home and he had wrangled an empty tray of lasagna out of the trash, licked it completely clean, dragged it to the middle of the living room, peed on it, and left it there as a prize for when i came home.  i had to laugh. 
 
i don't want my ill feelings over having to clean up after him to overshadow all the good, so hopefully this will be a good fix.
 
yes, i would love to put him in a dog training class, but the money i was saving for that is now going to go towards a crate (and a clicker).  spiritdogs, those are great links about clicker training; it sounds like it would be something that jobi and i would enjoy.  classes will just have to come later and i'll just do my best with what we've been working on so far.  today the lightbulb finally came on that going pee/poo outside = people food, so hopefully that will help as well.
 
and cumasmommy, oh my goodness.  it means SO MUCH to me to hear that you had success with adoption while you were a student!  (and with two internships!)  [:-]  i've grown weary of being criticized for adopting a dog because i've never had a dog before, i'm a student, i have a job, i'm busy, i'm not able to spend hundreds of dollars on doggie luxuries, etc.  i've saved up for months and worked my entire holiday break (despite having had surgery a week and a half prior) to get enough money to pay adoption costs and provide food...not to mention saving up so i could have the time to make him some sweaters and toys, and most importantly, give him plenty of LOVE.  i'm sure you know what i'm talking about!
 
i know that those who criticize only have the dog's best interest at heart because that there are far too many people who adopt dogs only to neglect them, but i've been reduced to tears on far too many occasions at the dog park.  i feel as though some of these people may have forgotten what it was like to adopt a dog for the first time and how overwhelming it was.  plus, if the only people who adopted dogs were unemployed and well-off i think there might be a problem. 
 
sorry for the long-winded reply you all!  anyway, i'll be sure to update on how he takes to the crate.

Hey good for you for getting a crate!

It's not ideal, but it's way better than teaching him that all your stuff is his to play with when you're gone, and its WAAAAYYYY better than making housetraining any harder than it already is.

Another free thing. It's for puppies but has lots of really good info. It's a free booklet that you can download and print out:

http://www.jamesandkenneth.com/PDF_docs/J&KBEFOREpic.pdf

This has lots of basic information about how dogs think and learn that first-time dog owners should read, and it's got step-by-stp instructions for housetraining and crate training.

Oh, and I don't have any money either. I wanted to say that dogs can be expensive! But that there are things you can do to lighten the financial burden.

*Find a vet that will tell you that it's OK not to come in if it's really not a problem. (ask around at the dog run)
*Feed a higher-quality food, and supplement that with some of whatever you're eating (if it's healthy, not too spicy and not full of chocolate or onions or grapes...). You WILL save money on vet bills by caring about your dog's diet now.
*Watch your dog (many trips to the vet can be avoided by taking the thing that will obstruct the dog's bowel out of its mouth)
*Raw meaty bones from the butcher are like 30 to 60 cents a pound, and are really good for your dog.

And if you find that you really need to take a class, just do it. Dogs who never get trained wind up getting put down, which is really really sad, and they wind up costing you a lot of money in destructiveness. I have signed up for a class wondering how on earth I was going to pay for it, and it's the best thing I ever did.

Good luck!

ORIGINAL: phonedead

plus, if the only people who adopted dogs were unemployed and well-off i think there might be a problem. 

sorry for the long-winded reply you all!  anyway, i'll be sure to update on how he takes to the crate.

I am so so so with you on this one.  So many people feel that you shouldn't own a dog if you work or what have you but that's just not realistic, and I feel a lot of shelter-dogs miss out on their fireplace because of it..... 

One example:  I know some people I know personally who have plenty of money, mum at home all day with the dpg, doing housework and watching Trisha and they think the best way to house train a dog is to rub its nose in its mess when it has an "accident".  Now they shouldn't be allowed a dog!! 

This is gonna sound corny, but Love is free, and for the rest.... you just make sacrifices and make the dog a priority.
 
ETA, definately keep us posted!  Introduce the crate slowly and sympathetically and you will be fine.  You're not mean to leave him in there - think of it as like a cot for a baby.  What I always do is if ever you have to leave him for a long time, secure a dog proof easily cleaned area with the crate open inside it so the dog doesn't get frustrated at being cooped up for too long and isn't forced to soil it if he gets desperate.  You won't feel so "mean" about leaving him like that either.