Sad Day

Terri, your kind of right..and I agree. This person came here looking for sympathy...I feel they did get it in a half kind of way, not exactly the way it could have been.    I immediately remembered my story about the puppy that got hit last year, it took me a long time to get out of my head.  The girl that hit the dog called me every night for a couple of weeks.  I guess in the end, I felt truely sorry for the owner of the dog, but I guess I even felt more sorrow for the girl that hit it because it was really not her fault.  She SHOULD have been looking straight ahead, but she saw someone she knew, and it was a sidestreet, so she reached out to yell "hi!" Something we also do. But I guess in the end I was probably more mad at the owner than the driver,,,    Maybe this is why we had so many posts such as this.

Dyan, I completly agree with what the others were saying, there are so many times that tragedies could be avoided by owners being diligent, and I remember when the puppy was hit in front of my house too....breaks my heart each and everytime I see an animal on the side of the road.  I just kept thinking of how upset I would be if that was me looking for help grieving and instead got salt in a fresh wound.  Even if the OP were completely irresponsible, a few kind words first would have probably been greatly appreciated, reserve the judgements for later.  Not sure that by jumping down someone's throat in a time of need is going to really accomplish anything. 

I was upset for the little boy.  Not "meant" to have a dog?  That is hearbreaking. 
 
I have THREE dogs.  I live on a major side street and I'm 4 houses off an EIGHT LANE. 
 
She drove out of the driveway and saw the pup dead in the road.  I'm sorry -- how long was it missing?  If it dug out from under a fence why wasn't it missed?  It was a puppy -- puppys ought not be left alone like that. 
 
I'm sorry for their loss and I hope seriously that they opt to not have any more 'outside dogs' as they mentioned.  My post wasn't to heap condemnation -- but to affirm that very decision. 
 
My day of reckoning came years ago -- it was very hard because I nearly lost my 17 year old dog.  She meant everything to me -- she was indoors on the day we moved and someone ELSE let her out. 
 
Their fault?  Not hardly.  MINE. 
 
I got lucky -- I found her HOURS later and she survived crossing that 8 lane (and it wasn't as busy then as it is now). 
 
If you are a person who grew up somehow knowing better -- great.  But for ME it was a personal decision.  Not to let a dog 'out' loose.  To have to make that decision that it isn't safe ***ANY***MORE***
 
It's like giving up on the human race -- but things don't get better, kinder nor gentler.  Things get busier, worse and more impersonal.  So if we love our dogs we change WITH the times. 
 
That's not condemnation for any one person -- that's simply a statement about life today. 

Without trying to condemn the people involved, I agree with you, Callie, and with Anne. Once, we visited our friend before she got the Great Pyrenees. She was okay with him being loose in her little lake cabin. But others would walk in and out without paying attention to Shadow. So, one time Shadow waltzes right by me and goes out to the front yard. And that neighborhood really has a problem with aggressive, did I say aggressive, I mean aggressive dogs running loose, in packs. So, I got him back and kept him on the porch with me with his tie-out chain and resolved not to bring him along, more often than not. I can't trust others to watch for him not to get out unrestrained.
 
If that family can only think of dogs as outside creatures, then they shouldn't have one anymore. In my experience, properly trained dogs do not wander the streets. People that train their dogs do not allow it. For most of my life, I wanted a dog but didn't really have the set-up to allow for one. Now that I have my house with a huge backyard we have an excellent set-up and it was perfect to get Shadow, then.
 
We all feel sorrow for dogs that have passed on and in most cases, it is due to a geriatric ailment or malady over which we had no control. And it can bother us when we see a death that could have been prevented. Such as properly containing an animal. Or, allowing animals to breed, only to have the litter wind up in the shelter to be euthanized.
 
So, I hope for the best for the family involved and if they do decide to get another dog that find a way to contain it. Lowe's sells dog kennel kits if you must keep your dog outside and don't have a fence.

I just went back and re-read my initial post to make sure I wasn't being unkind, and I stand by what I said.
 
I personally think that there are VERY few dogs who do well being strictly outside dogs, but for those who insist on doing it that way, then they MUST provide a secure, escape proof environment for the dog.  My back yard is securely fenced.  I live out in the boondocks, BUT our road, even tho it's an acre away from the back yard, is heavily traveled and by speed demons.  When my dogs are outside, I can SEE them...I don't leave them out unsupervised, and if I need to do something that takes my attention away from them, I bring them in the house and close the doggie door. 

I believe that my point has been missed.  I agree with what Ron and Glenda and Callie and everyone else is saying regarding proper containment of dogs and that as owners we are responsible for their safety.  No shred of disagreement!
 
My point was and is, this person was looking for a shoulder to cry and vent on, they didn't ask for a lecture or even someone saying, "if you cared about your dogs you would contain them."  They have had 2 tragic accidents recently, period.  They were looking for sympathy, not sympathy with provisions and lectures.  There is not a one of us that was there or knows the full circumstances of these accidents, and I was making the point that I know I don't appreciate being told that the whole thing was my fault, especially when others don't know the whole story.  I may be wrong, but you know, I am much more receptive to constructive criticism (and learning from my mistakes) if my real or percieved faults aren't just tossed back at me when all I was looking for is someone to talk and relate to.  I know for one that I have made some really dumb mistakes in the past and will probably make more in the future but I sure hope that when I do, I'll have someone around to help me through them, avoid them again and learn from them and not just tell me what horrible mistakes I've made.

Now because I have been looking around at other posts and people's feelings sometimes get hurt and through email and typing it is sometimes difficult to communicate exactly what you mean I felt that I wanted to add to my post.  Just because I am voicing my opinion, and yes it is my opinion, I do hope that people will understand that in no way do I mean to be disrespectful or want to insinuate that others are wrong or anything else, there happens to be a respecful disagreement on the tone and message that I was getting from this thread.  I am simply voicing my opinion and feelings and don't want to start upsetting people and making them mad.

From the OP:
 
His Dad told him its just unfortunate that we live too close to the road and that something got her attention and made her go out to the road.
 
No mention at all of any containment, just a loose puppy in the front yard running off to something that interested him.
 
From the OP:
 
 dont think we will get anymore outside dogs and i want to fix this place up and move in a few years so that we can get another place far off the road so we dont have to worry about the road so much.
 
This is their solution to the problem. Sell the house and try to buy one on bigger property in the hopes that traffic won't be a problem. That is, they will continue to let dogs run loose on bigger property, rather than trying to contain a dog to their yard. As sad as it is that their puppy got hit, it could have been prevented and they are purposefully going to do the exact opposite of what they should do. Here, we not only feel bad for the owner, we also feel bad for the future dogs they will sacrifice to the notion that dogs must roam free near traffic.
 
Look at the other posts here where we offer condolences to those who have lost their pets.We do offer a shoulder to cry on but we also care for the pets. Sometimes, that caring comes in the form of constructive criticism, whether it is to implore them to build a kennel or fence, or, to realize that it is, in fact, 2006 and you just can't let your dogs run loose like they did 50 years ago. Death, these days, for a wolf or coyote comes almost as often from a bad interaction with the interstate as it does with predation and starvation.
 

nigguysmom, I fully understand what you're saying but speaking as someone who is older than dirt and who has been on mesageboards for MANY years (I moderate another smaller board and have for almost 9 years), the problem is if you simply give "sympathy" (and my gut reaction is that this person was more venting anger at traffic than looking for sympathy) you tend to validate that person and they walk away feeling not just 'better' but vindicated. 
 
And again, I"m not trying to make you or anyone feel bad, truly not ... but ... man, how do I say this and have it convey the tone I mean to set ... when you have been around a LONG time on boards like this, you realize several things:
 
1.  The original poster is one out of hundreds who will read this.  So yes, you want to convey what is needed to that person, BUT there is also a deep responsibility to others who 'read', lurk and walk away never saying a peep. 
 
You have to be SO careful not to validate those who just don't go that extra mile for the dog ... those who just keep getting dog after dog after dog but who never seem to learn that they need to DO things differently, train, or simply not get a dog at all because they just don't intend to do the responsible thing.
 
Because those folks (and not necessarily the original poster -- but those looking to validate the 'easy way out') will take ANY excuse to not 'do' something different. 
 
2.  You CAN change things.  And yeah, maybe *not* for the OP.  But ... maybe you *can*.  By challenging them -- and getting them TO think.  I so sincerely used to be one of those people who adamantly thot dogs HAD to 'run free'.  And it was a person who lambasted me on a message board who challenged ME and said hey -- do you love this animal?  Then why in heck aren't you doing ALL in your power to make sure it stays safe even if it's inconvenient as heck for you!!
 
3.  Sympathy is just words, unless the hearer knows you mean them.  I'll never be guilty of just putting a nice but insincere veneer on things.  I'd rather someone would walk away with something constructive that will help them *deal* with grief (as in "ok I've learned something and in future I will do it another way") than placating someone with words when in reality I'm thinking something totally different.  For me (not for you, maybe, and not for others, but for ME personally) that would be a lie. 
 
Sometimes I go on and on and ON ... and I use capital letters (and I've been accused of 'hollering' at someone when I'm just trying to find a way to punctuate it so you can almost hear my voice rather than mis-reading what I'm trying to say) because I want to be clear.  Sometimes it isn't, despite how many times I re-write. 
 
But I'd rather make someone think.  Not think that I'm all-knowing ... no, I'm far more satisfied if I just plain make you THINK, and draw your own conclusions out of your own life experiences ... than to leave the world the way it was when I walked in. 
 
I hope like heck that makes sense. 
 
But I'll tell you, the teacher in me is so grieved at that little boy who is going to hide in his heart those words that he's not 'meant' to have a dog.  Translate into kidspeak:  I'm not worthy.  Oh that poor little boy.

Knock me if you want, but the OP said herself that she lost two dogs the exact same way within 7 months.  That doesn't, to me anyway, suggest that she learned any lesson whatsoever.  She just replaced the first dead dog, and hoped for the best.  She lost.
But the thing that makes this all the more painful for me is that she is raising a child - what must he think?  Oh, let's see...you don't really train your dog, it lives outside, and if it gets hit, well, you just go out and get another.  Then, instead of taking responsibility and learning the proper way to prevent this, you blame some poor driver who, granted, might be going a tad too fast, for your own lack of ability to train or contain your puppy.  Remember, folks, this is a PUPPY being allowed to fend for itself as an outdoor dog.  Sorry, but I'm tired of giving ignorance a pass this week.

I think Callie and Anne both hit the nail on the head.  This person clearly blamed the cars for going too fast.  And the little boy will blame himself, as if he is the problem because he thinks "he is not meant to have a dog".  As he watches this treatment of dogs while he grows, he will carry on the same behavior.  I've seen it first-hand, in a co-worker and my stepchildren.
 
I was trying to be responsible and yet I allowed a stupid accident to happen to Shari's sister.  It never mattered that people around me tried to comfort me by saying "it was an accident".  It has been 16 years and I have never forgiven myself. 
 
As I said in my story earlier, we had three dogs at the time.  One of them was the husky's best buddy.  After she got killed, he started climbing out of the pen and chasing cars.  If I wasn't careful when opening the door, he'd dart out.  He stopped eating and started attacking and biting everyone who came near him except for me.  I didn't know what to do, but spoke to my vet at the time who'd I had adopted him from (he was dumped on her farm).  My son was an infant then and the vet and her husband thought I was putting him at too much risk.  When I'd taken the dog home originally, they both told me if I had any problems at all that they would take him back.  So I took him back to them and he was pts at the age of 2.  Not only did my carelessness kill one dog, it took the second from me within a ten-day period.
 
When Shari came home with me I promised that I would do whatever it took to give her the best life possible and keep her safe.  She's had eye problems her whole life, but I never refused to get her help.  She's old and I'm never quite sure if she's going to make it another day.  I don't want to have to make "that" decision, but if I must, I will.  Most don't understand my devotion to her but I don't care.  People have seldom done right by me but Shari has always been faithful.  I can't make up for the tragic loss I caused, but at least I know that this time, the death of my beloved girl won't be because of momentary carelessness.

Callie, Tina, Ron, and everyone else, you make excellent points and I wasn't looking at it from your perspectives.  I can understand and respect where you are coming from, but I think that I was coming from a different point of view.  I have to believe that this person wasn't communicating very well, was upset (understandably) and that this simply was a tragic accident that occured.  I put myself into the position that "what if it were me..." and thus we came to this round circle of viewpoints.

What upset me the most was the rant about the people driving too fast as if the OP was putting all the responsibility on the drivers.

I live in the country, on 4 plus acres.  Our house sits back about an acre from the road.  But the road is a busy one...prime shortcut between two towns...and folks think it's a speedway.  Being a responsible owner, I don't let my dogs out loose, ever.  And when we go out for romps on the back acreage, they wear drag lines "just in case"...even the two who I would consider to have perfect recall. 

And yes, that poor child will grow up thinking that he's not meant to have a dog, that God somehow doesn't think him worthy of having a dog, and that dogs don't belong anyplace but outside in the yard at the mercy of whatever.

I think all the points made above are valid ones - whether they're being made on behalf of the OP's feelings, the little boy's perspective, or the welfare of the dogs.  As is the case with all comments written on a forum, no one knows for sure what the true intent of a comment is except the OP, so each of us responded based on our interpretation of the OP's words. 
 
The thing I'd like to add is that it's not just a matter of educating other readers about the risks of roadways to an uncontained dog.  It's also important to contain an unsupervised dog because of many other risks, especially a puppy.  Even if you lived on 500 acres with no automobiles in site, an unsupervised, uncontained dog could get injured (or worse) due to an encounter with another animal, from a surprise hole in the ground, from an old rusty can or nail, etc.  If you weren't supervising, the dog could lay there injured for hours before you'd see it.  Yes, traffic is the biggest risk most of us face, but I think everyone needs to learn the importance of supervision, whether you live in Manhattan or the Australian Outback.
 
My sympathies to the little boy and the ups.

[Deleted by Admins]