Am supposed to say goodbye on Thursday

You will miss Tuffy very much, though it hurts it is good , for it shows how much you love Tuffy and that his memory will live on with you. I have lost many dogs over my life and I miss most of them. My first dog as an adult was a Staffordshire terrier, Morgan, he was my buddy, he went every where I went. At 6 he got bone cancer and had his left rear leg removed entirely, he was given 6 months to a year . That dog refused to quit, at 10 he fathered a litter of pups and at 13 years 8 months I put him down due to congestive heart failure. Even though I thought I would lose him before he turned 7 and I got nearly 8 more years than could be hoped for, I was so broken up when I let him go, that I cried daily for over 2 weeks. I lost his mate Heidi nearly 4 years ago to pancreatitus, she was 11, I never bonded with her in the 10 years I had her, I found her as a lost dog and the whole time she was with me she would run away at any chance, she was very frustrating. She is the only dog that I do not miss, I never have to worry about what trouble she has got herself into. I look at her sudden death as a final running away. I lost Oshota at 13 1/2 last June, she was a big silly golden mix with a heart of gold. I had to let her go due to spondylosis. I just lost Ursa at 15 to congestive heart failure, I got her at 9 days old. I will miss her forever. I have Chelsea, she is 6 years old, I first saw her when she was 6 weeks old and she came into my life when she was 5 months. I never thought I would have a new buddy dog till she came along, I know that when her time comes I will cry as I did for Morgan. Many of my friends ask me why I have dogs if it hurts so much to lose them. All I can say is that it feels so good to love them and to have their love in return. If Moonpie needed you and you showed up, it was fate, as it was with me and Heidi, she needed me and I stayed there, even though she never showed me any love and I never felt any towards her, she still got the respect and care any of the other dogs got. Although I miss Ursa so much right know and it feels so strange to have only one dog after owning 3 to 4 since 1994, I know that someday the paths of myself and some needing dog will cross and a new friendship will start . Each dog in my life is like reading a chapter in a good book, each chapter ends and the next begins, the story continues.

Martin

Tuffy left us yesterday-I want so much to believe he went to the bridge; as you guys say here.  It was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my entire life. My heart is in a million pieces and I can't really believe it was the right thing altogether. He was scared and kept trying to hide under my arm before it happened which made the whole thing that much more unbearable.
 
I'm being morose, I know.  And, I'm focusing on the negative-but I just don't know that I can do anything other than that. I want to-I want to find comfort in Tuffy being out of pain; that I did what he needed. But all of that is overshadowed by crippling grief. I hate to think I'm being selfish. I wish I could see good here-but I'm struggling to feel anything but tremendous sorrow at losing my best friend.  And doing something he was really afraid of-when he wanted me to hold him and take him home. 
 
As I said before, after a lifetime of dogs, he was the dog for me. 
 
Thank you for your messages of support and prayers. They've meant very much to me.  I hope I'm able to come to a place of peace soon-a place of gratitude for being touched by Tuffy's grace and gentle, quiet love.

I know EXACTLY what you are going thru...when we put our Muffy down Jan 5, I cried and cried.  Then the vet sent me a sympathy card and a single rose and I really did break down.  I remember sobbing that night telling my hubby "I don't think I can do this".  Even now as I am typing to you I am starting to cry.  Muffy was so sick with liver failure and diabetes and dry eye syndrome and allergeries...etc etc.  I doctored her as long as I could, but could do no more. She was a little Lhasa Apso that followed me everywhere and was the only dog in my 57 years of owning dogs that I truly connected with!  My heart goes out to you, but you know, it is ok to grieve - that is how we are made as humans - how wonderful it is to know that great love even if it hurts so bad to say goodbye.
 
So...we got a puppy mill Shih Tzu dog named Sadie about 4 weeks ago - 5 years old and not treated too well...she has taken to me like crazy - won't even come to my hubby.  Surely not a replacement for Muffy, but an extension of my love to take care of another dog.  I think Muffy would be pleased with me - even tho I still have her picture on my mirror and these last 3 months have been awful...time does heal a broken  heart.  Now I can laugh when I think of Muffy's antics and we keep calling Sadie Muffy.  You are in my thoughts and prayers - consider me a good friend who can truly feel what you feel now -
Sherry

Martin, thanks for your note.  It's reassuring for me to know that you found another buddy dog; I saw someone here say "heart dog" which I like a lot.  I never realized the different levels of love and connection we can experience with our dogs.  Like you said, I care for Moonpie (as he grudgingly sits on my lap as I type this) and I will always look after him...but he's not Tuffy.   I think he's mourning a bit which surprises me-I could never tell just how connected they were.  I think b/c Moonpie is such a wounded doggie (I rescued him at 4 years old-I'm not totally sure what sort of abuse went on but he's a very fearful dog) he doesn't allow much feeling to show. 
 
I will always have dogs; no matter how much losing them hurts (although I never knew quite how bad it could be until Tuff).  I agree w/ you.  I like the idea that each dog is a new book, a new chapter.  I look forward to the day when I can open my heart to a new dog.  I know it will be soon.
 

Hi Sherry, I just wanted to say thanks for your note.  I've been crying on and off now since Monday.  I have Tuffy's photo by my bed; there are moments when it makes me smile and others when I burst into tears.

Moonpie, our other dog, is a rescue shih tzu as well.  I got him at 4 years old three years ago(as I said above to Martin).  I know they can get attached quickly but I've had trust issues just the same w/ Moonie.  He's a biter and, though he's made some major strides in his behavior, he's still a difficult dog to love.  You'll have to keep me up to date as to your progress w/ Sadie (a lovely name, by the way).  Perhaps she's less wounded or your heart is more open than mine.

This board has really sustained me-it's amazing how helpful it is to know there are people out there who understand completely.  Thank you again.  I'm off to school but I'll check back in later.  Have a wonderful Saturday.

Olivia

Dragonslayer is so right "Each dog in my life is like reading a chapter in a good book, each chapter ends and the next begins, the story continues. "
 
See each and every one is unique ... and the fact that we connect differently with each is a testament to that.  And some ... altho 'different' can be equally as devastating to lose just because it was deep but 'different'.  My heart dog Prissy I had for almost 21 years and I lost her almost 13 years ago and STILL want to talk to her to discuss things thru (oh yeah, we talked about everything).  Now Billy and I are VERY close -- but it's a completely different 'kind' of closeness.  Not that one is bad or one is good -- just very very different. 
 
Each and every one has a unique place in my heart -- some I "miss" more than others, some I wind up missing more than I thought I would.  Some less - but each has changed me, each has made me more rich, each has taught me so much.
 
Tuffy IS at the Bridge and I know another little Buffy coated Cocker met him -- (just because he knows Mom would have wanted him to!) ... but my Ms. Socks (a boxer pit mix who had terrible heartworm when I got her at 10 1/2 but who survived the treatment despite the fact it left her heart/lungs in tatters -- but she lived 6 1/2 MORE years and had a ball!!) -- Ms. Socks was ALSO there to welcome Tuffy and point out to him how nice and clear the air is up there and how GREAT it feels to run and chase and NOT get winded, and NOT cough, and generally just run and run and RUN s'more!!!
 
In fact, I'd bet they are still playing up there ... Socks took her Frisbe with her ... and I'm sure by now she's learned to toss it for herself and everbuddy else.  Life at the Bridge is a CHASE !!!!! RUN AFTER IT!!!!!! whooo hooo!!!

So sorry for your significant loss. Even when it is right, it is far from easy.  When we had to make this decision for our girl Jesse, it was because she looked at me with eyes asking me for help and there was no other help to offer.  Nothing to ease her pain anymore, or ease the indignity of her infirmities. Nothing but release.  Would she have stayed with us as you feel Tuffy wanted to - of course.  But I couldn't let her pay for that loyalty with suffering any more.  I couldn't let that be the cost she paid for love.
 
Wishing you comfort and peace for Tuffy.  Love the pictures you posted - he was a beautiful boy.

I hadn't seen these latest posts.  I'm so glad I saw them today-I'm missing my little boy.  You guys are the greatest; I teared up.  As usual.  You are all right and I know that in my heart; he was suffering terribly and he stopped eating.  He had lost so much weight at the end; it hurt my heart to hold him b/c I could feel all of his bones. 
 
I will think about him breathing freely and playing with all the other dogs who have overcome their pain.  Although, he wasn't much of a playing dog-we used to joke that he was our intellectual; he'd much rather sip espresso and read The New Yorker than run after a ball and get himself filthy.  So, I'm hoping he found some other snooty dogs who prefer to think big thoughts or perhaps chase the occasional bird (but not too vigorously). 
 
I also hope he knows how much I love him and always will.
 
It just keeps hurting.  I can't believe it's only been a week.  It feels like so much longer than that. 
 
Thank you again for all your support. 
 
 

I'm just now getting to this part of the forum, I am crying for you moonandtuffysmom,,,you and Tuffy. You did the right thing,,,you know that. You helped ease Tuffys pain and suffering and for that I know he is grateful! It is never easy,,,we are always with some kind of doubt, but please feel peace in knowing that he is so happy now,,,having no problems and running and playing with all of his friends!
You will be sad for a while,,,I still shed a tear every now and again for both of my dogs that I lost...I have to force myself to not think that one day it will happen again. Its just a fact of life.
Take time,,and try to think of all the fun and love you two shared. You have him the best last 6 months of his life,,,that is the part of his life he went out on. For that you can be grateful!

ORIGINAL: moonandtuffysmom
Although, he wasn't much of a playing dog-we used to joke that he was our intellectual; he'd much rather sip espresso and read The New Yorker than run after a ball and get himself filthy.  So, I'm hoping he found some other snooty dogs who prefer to think big thoughts

Olivia, I wanted to send you a comforting thought regarding your last post . . . our Tonka will most certainly be a good friend to Tuffy at the Bridge.  He was always a bit "too cool" for horsing around.  He had a noble, regal air about him, and often held his head up high, with his nose slightly in the air.  I have a wonderful photo of him in that pose - if I can find a digital copy of it, I'll post it for you.  When our friends' and neighbors' dogs were playing in a group, he usually sat on the sidelines and watched, only participating once in a while.  Actually, if there was a timid or elderly dog in the group, he usually sat with them.  We said he was everyone's protector.   When we left him alone in the house, we always left a radio on for him, and I liked to leave it tuned to NPR public radio so he could listen to interesting and educational programs instead of pop music! 
 
I talk to Tonka everyday, and I'm often asking him to look out for new friends who've joined him at the Bridge this past year.  I'll be sure to tell him to look for Tuffy, as I'm sure he's eager to have a companion for afternoons of quiet contemplation.
 
Continued hugs to you.  Take care.

I just now am reading this, and am coming into pretty late. But, Olivia I just wanted to say that just remeber that you gave Tuffy the best 6 months he could have had. There are many dogs that will never even get that. And that is a very special thing that you gave him. You showed him love and compassion when he needed it the most.
 
My brother once rescued a Springer Spaniel that was stray, he became very very close to the dog, the dog had been abused severely and was scared of everything, yet he let my brother love him and get so close to him. Unfortunetly Bailey only lived 4 months longer, he got attacked by another dog when my brother was at the park with him. And as terrible as it was, all I could think was that Bailey was send to my brother because he had never been loved and in his last few months he deserved that. To this day my brother still has his pictures in his house.
 
He has had other dogs since then and loves them all to death, but Bailey still remains his heart dog. He will never ever forgot her and the special bond that they shared.
 
I know no words can really help at a time like this, but remeber that Tuffy is in a better place, he can run free with no pain, and he will wait for you until your day comes too.  Run Free Tuffy [sm=angel.gif]
 
 

I'm so sorry for your loss. [] I've been there myself.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  Helping our friends cross the bridge is one of the most difficult thing we ever have to do, and it takes a great deal of courage and selflessness.  What you did for Tuffy, both by giving him even the short amount of time to live with love and happiness, but then to help end his pain and suffering, was truly compassionate.  It doesn't ease the pain, but I hope you find peace in knowing you did the kindest thing you could for him.  Hugs to you.  Run free Tuffy [sm=angel.gif]

I'm so sorry for the loss of Tuffy.  I can imagine him now playing and running free, healthy again.  He's waiting for you I know that.  You've been loved by a dog and that's something that's such a gift. 

I'm so sorry for your loss.
All the Idog's that have gone to the Bridge were waiting for your boy Tuffy...
They'll all be there waiting for us when we cross....
 
Know that we are thinking of you....
 
Maria and Talus...