Dog Community

Thank you I-doggers

Posted : 3/11/2006 1:53:41 AM

I've posted a lot of questions in regards to my new dog, Roo, but tonight I ventured over to the Rainbow Bridge section for the first time and read some of the posts about guilt and grief. I cried and cried and cried.

I had never even heard of the Rainbow Bridge before and I've lost two dogs, one when I was a child (a dog that had been with the family before I was born) and one last summer.

I moved half way around the world. It was a temporary one-year deal.
One month before I was scheduled to return home, I had a nightmare that someone had murdered Cookie (our dog of 16 years) and in my nightmare, she came to me, bloody and... it was just so graphic and violent, I didn't understand what could possibly be wrong with my psyche to conjure up such images.

I woke up crying uncontrollably. I was so scared and hyperventilating and ALONE. I didn't know what to do so I got out my laptop and e-mailed my parents. I didn't want to tell them about the gruesome details of my nightmare. I just said, "I had a horrible nightmare that something bad happened to the family."

When I returned home, my parents came to get me at the airport and we drove the 5 hours home. One hour before we got home, my mom told me that Cookie had to be put to sleep and that it happened the day I had my nightmare. When they got back from the vet, my e-mail was waiting for them. Even though it was in the middle of the night where I was, it was daytime back home.

I felt so awful because I didn't see her for almost a year. One of my family's friends (a grandmother type) said to me, "She couldn't wait for you." Or maybe she forgot about me. I cried silently from there until we got home but that was the end of it (my family is just that way. My Dad was the closest to Cookie and he never even spoke of her until 4 months after I'd been home).

And reading your posts, I just felt as though everything I had bottled up, came pouring out. I never told my family about what happened in the dream because that would be too disturbing. I think that maybe Cookie did forget about me and that's why she didn't wait for me but then, she came to me in my dream! And I don't know what to think because she didn't come to me in a happy way, she came to me hurting and killed!! My parents said that she wasn't in pain and that she went peacefully but I don't know what to believe because of my dream. Maybe she was angry with me? Maybe she thought I had abandoned her?

Anyway, I just want to thank you because I feel your stories and your experiences have really helped me realize that I have to deal with this and grieve properly (even if that means simply crying).

spiritdogs

Posted : 3/11/2006 7:01:09 AM

I don't think this happened because Cookie forgot you!!!! I believe she came to YOU (her very special human) the only way she could. Dogs don't see death the same way we do, I suspect. They see it when they catch prey, certainly, and I'm thinking that the violent thing was the only way she thought she could explain to you that she was at the Bridge and would wait for you there instead of at home.

glenmar

Posted : 3/11/2006 7:14:51 AM

I agree with Anne. Cookie had to go to the Bridge. It was her time, and your parents gave her the ultimate gift by helping her to go gently. Dogs don't forget those that they love. She came to you in your dream, in the only way that she could let you know that she was at the Bridge and waiting for you there. Know in your heart that she is happy and whole and HEALTHY and young again. Death isn't a terrible thing for those who die, only for those who remain behind. Death is a blessed reward for a life well lived. It's those of us who remain behind that find it pretty awful. Cookie is in a GOOD place now...and one day you'll be together again.

calliecritturs

Posted : 3/11/2006 8:47:16 PM

Spirit Dogs is right -- she told you the only way she could. Take it as a gift -- she certainly did NOT forget you. I've seen dogs know humans MANY MANY YEARS later. They're smart, they don't forget. But she reached out in a very doggie way and let you know she thot OF YOU.

That honestly is a very precious gift she gave to you -- be comforted that her love for you reached out so far and with such force that it reached you that way. She just did it as a dog, and not as a human. So don't allow yourself to diminish that gift with fear. If she had given you a bloody raw bone that was her most prized possession it would have been quite the mighty gift -- but to you and I a raw bone might not look too appetizing. But then, we are NOT dogs! *sigh*

cindy Lachapelle

Posted : 3/12/2006 11:44:14 AM

My best fur friend died on Jan. 14. I have waited for a dream or a sign from him and even asked him for it, but it has yet to come. That bothers me alot. Why can't I dream about him as I think of him all of the time. I think that you were intune to your dog's health issues and maybe they came out a little twisted but at least you were intune to them. I think some people are more telepathic, if that is the word, then others. As much as I try to be, it just isn't working. I think that is a gift and a gift that I wish I had.

Carter

Posted : 3/13/2006 1:25:46 AM

Thank you everyone for your replies and positive messages. It really helps me deal with the fear and guilt I have associated with my nightmare and her passing.

tacran

Posted : 3/13/2006 8:18:53 PM

Cartersparkles, I'm glad you found the Rainbow Bridge area. For those us who've experienced the loss of a precious pet, we know how unusual it is to find truly sympathetic ears. I think the support and words I've read and/or received on this site after my boy's death have been the most helpful to me, outside of just a handful of people in my "non-internet life" who are animal lovers. I'm grateful there's a place where I can read and write about emotions and experiences that don't make me feel so weird or alone.

I think all the replies you received were very insightful. I, too, would have been devastated by that dream. As unpleasant as the image was, it's comforting to think that your dog found some way to communicate with you. Best wishes to you as you continue to grieve your loss, and as you make memories with your new furbaby.

Cindy - you and I have the same issue about not getting messages from Bo and Tonka. Someone else on the board said to me that maybe it's because I'm grieving too hard, and Tonka knows better than I do that I couldn't handle a message from from him right now. I'll keep hoping that someday it will happen.

Something that happened with my aunt and uncle reminds me of all this. My uncle died one June several years ago. Ten months later, just prior to their wedding anniversary, I had this sudden thought to send my aunt a dozen yellow roses so she wouldn't be sad on that day (they'd been together over 30 years). Those are my aunt's favorite flowers, and my uncle would never spend money on such an extravagance. This was their running joke -- every time she'd mention them on her birthday or other occasion, he'd say, "Oh, you missed the delivery man - he came before you woke up, and he couldn't leave them without your signature."

I sent them to her that year, and she called me in tears - she asked my uncle that morning to send her a sign he was okay, and then my flowers arrived. Honestly, I have no idea why the thought came to me - it just did. I'd never sent them a gift before. I think he sent me the message. So, maybe messages can come much later for some of us.

calliecritturs

Posted : 3/14/2006 12:02:17 AM

I don't look for signs or messages -- one time many years ago I had to have another car and I wanted a 'sign' so I would get the right one. I had a dream one night about a car I was driving that had this particular stick shift (one I'd never seen). I was looking and looking for a car, and finally I was out with my Dad and lo and behold I saw this Green Dodge Colt that had the IDENTICAL stick shift in my dream.

To say the least I was crazy to get that car and I felt I had the car I was 'supposed' to have because of that sign.

That car was the biggest worthless piece of trash on the planet. It had been burned dry of oil and you couldn't keep that car on the road for love nor money. I wound up off in a field THREE times in less than a week with it (on ice). The last time, I walked 2 miles home and told Pa if he wanted it towed out of there fine, but no way was I ever driving that BAD DECISION ever again.

*grin* Needless to say I got invited to get in it and drive it home and then sell it properly (and quit feeling sorry for myself in the bargain *sigh* I was being a right royal pain!!)

But I learned my lesson about 'signs'. It makes a nice story when you hear someone had something great happen to them, but it's not usually the best reason to 'do' something. And waiting for it TO happen, well, usually you're gonna have a long long wait!

I guess my point is -- it's wonderful if something comes back and gives you a warm fuzzy but don't wait around FOR it to happen. Warm fuzzys tend to avoid coming to people 'waiting' for them. And the best warm fuzzys come to folks who are super busy just giving them away to everyone else!!

(Now, someone's gonna tell me I'm showing my age and what the heck is a warm fuzzy???) But that would be a different post all together I think!)

I'm not scolding anyone -- but when you guys started talking about 'signs' all I could think of was that darned stick shift knob!

forpaws

Posted : 3/14/2006 9:36:35 AM

I tend to lean on Callie's sentiments about signs. Your fur kids will come to you when they feel it is needed. I also lost my best fur kid on Jan 12th, and still awaiting him to let me know he is ok. I know I will see him one day. I know he will make himself known to me. And until that day, I love the ones I have in my possession everyday. I let them know how special they are to me while they are in the living. Just like I did with my boy and the others that have left me behind.