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For Kids - Why Does Our Pet Have to Die Now

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Rainbow Bridge

The Rainbow Bridge is the theme of a work of poetic prose written some time between 1980 and 1992, whose original creator is unknown. The theme is of an other-worldly place to which a pet goes upon its death, eventually to be reunited with its owner.
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  • brookcove
    • Gold Top Dog

    For Kids - Why Does Our Pet Have to Die Now

    brookcove

    Posted : 10/4/2008 4:14:59 AM

     Sorry I'm all about the blah-blah right now but that's how I deal with stuff.  I'd like to share what we told our kids about euthanizing Ben.  I thought it might help.  If you aren't religious at all, it might not still.  PJ is nine, Joey is seven.

    "PJ and Joey, you know Ben's sick.  We just found out that the vet can't help Ben get better, and he's going to die soon. [sidenote:  our kids know exactly what "die" means]   If we don't do anything, Ben's going to hurt a lot before he dies.  When people hurt a lot before they die, they can pray that God will help them be strong, and their souls can grow and get stronger even while their bodies are dying.  Other people can pray and learn from them.  If they can't pray, they can stay in the hospital where doctors can give them strong medicine to help the pain until they die.  We can't do that with animals.  They don't understand why they are in pain and they get scared.  So we help them die quicker.  The vet is going to give Ben a strong medicine that will put him to sleep, and then his heart will stop, and he'll just not wake up."

    I thought it was really, really important to be careful with this, with them, because I'm having surgery on Monday, and there's a chance it may lead to a full hysterectomy down the road (well, almost for sure eventually).   They've heard me talk a lot about managing my pain levels, and my disease has similar symptoms to what Ben had (I have endometrium adhesions that bleed into my pelvic cavity), and I don't want them to put two and two together in the wrong way at some point accidentally.
  • Bonita of Bwana
    • Gold Top Dog
    Bonita of Bwana

    Posted : 10/6/2008 10:12:22 PM

    I think the answer you offered by example is an excellent answer.  If your family has a religeous belief using that as part of your explanation is totally appropriate. If you do not teach your kids about a higher power then simply going with an explanation of the promise you make to a dog when you pick it out and bring it home is enough,   as in I promise you will never go hungry, never sleep in the wet and cold and never hurt if we can fix it, if we can not we will be there to help you cross the Rainbow Bridge to once again feel happy and whole, no pain , no worry just star bunnies to chase and things to do till we once more are together.

    It is all about love and never wanting one you love to hurt needlessly.  My 5 Alabama Grands were amazing with the deaths of our foundation dogs and our Old Rescue Lab Frisco. We pointed out a very bright Star and let them understand that was the dog star and our dogs would be the stars close by, always watching over them always loving them. They did very , very well with this.

    Death is an important part of life teaching children to accept it is a major thing and one of the most kind lessons we can give them. You can teach them to fear everything or to undersatnd it is so part of life, 

    Burying a dog is important OR giving it a quiet time of memory ie lighting a candle or having amoment of silence.  We light candles and they represent NOT the death but a Celebration of the Life of the dog we loved.   It is all about attitude and perception.... is death a BAD thing?? Or just a part of life that , may make us unhappy but is a part of a cycle.......

    Bonita of Bwana

    ps you may want to check out a few older posts where we had the kids dictate the way they thought and understood life, death and how we all figure into this big scheme of things.
  • spiritdogs
    • Gold Top Dog
    spiritdogs

    Posted : 10/26/2008 9:43:43 AM

     I think that's a lovely way to handle it for a religious family.  And, if not so religious, just telling kids the truth is the important part.  Our Mako had to be suddenly euthanized one Sunday when BF's kids were small, and here for a visit.  They were fine, because we told them that if we didn't help Mako, she would just continue to have pain and hurt - each was given a chance to hug her good-bye and tell her they loved her.  They asked if they could go, so we took them.  I think it was a lot less scary, because they got to see the vet, and talk about what was happening and why.  Not that they didn't cry - we all did, including the vet.  But, it was real, and not "taboo".

    Just as an aside - my best friend had problems similar to yours all her life.  She told me that she wished she had just had the hysterectomy long ago, because she eventually ended up with ovarian cancer.  Be sure to ask your doc about any connection with regard to your own situation - it might be better to opt for that, depending on your heredity, condition, etc.  She never knew there was a connection between a hx of endo and the cancer, but wishes she had been enlightened.  Not trying to scare you, just want you to come out of this in one piece!