Dog Community

Taz, the Wonderdog

Posted : 6/19/2007 6:59:20 PM

I had to euthanize Taz yesterday. Taz was a seven year old yellow Labrador Retriever. He was a good dog. That's the highest compliment I can give him because those were the two words that meant the most to him in the whole world - to hear me say "good dog".

I am amazed at how sorrowful a heart can be over the loss of a companion like Taz. Taz was having siezures repeatedly and they were affecting his memory. He no longer recognized his invisible fence boundaries, for example, so he's leave his two-acre yard. He suffered terribly after the siezures, which frightened him a great deal. I couldn't bear to watch him go through that over and over.

The veterinarian came to our home with two assistants. Taz loves new people so his tail was wagging vigorously as the vet gave him the injuection. As he drifted away, Taz put his head between his paws and just went to sleep. After about a minute the vet confirmed that his heart had stopped and we placed Taz in the wooden box I had prepared for his burial. We waited an hour because my wife was afraid the vet was wrong and maybe he wasn't really gone. I showed her how he was not breathing and had not breathed for over an hour but she had a hard time letting him go.

I buried Taz beneath some trees in the back of our property. I've ordered a marker that reads "Taz, A Good Dog". I did everything I could for him, and I kept my promise to him that everything will be alright. But I cannot seem to stop the flow of tears and the terrible remorse, the feeling that maybe I could have done something more for him.

Time, and God's love, heals all wounds. It will never erase the memory of my Good Dog, Taz.

spiritdogs

Posted : 6/19/2007 7:11:29 PM

I'm sorry you had to lose your friend this way. Don't feel guilty - you spared him much anxiety and fear. I know how hard it is to lose a dog so young, and I don't blame your wife for feeling the way she did. It's so hard to believe it when your heart dog is gone...

tacran

Posted : 6/20/2007 6:47:38 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Taz. We had to make the decision to help our dog cross last year, and I know the agonizing feelings of guilt, regret, second-guessing, etc. I can't say those feelings go away entirely, but they do become manageable and the good memories bring more comfort in time.

We prayed for the opportunity to have our dog euthanized at home, but it didn't work out that way due to his condition taking on an emergent nature one night. I'll never forgive myself for not being able to have him in quiet, comfortable and peaceful surroundings. But, we were very grateful for the emergency vet and staff allowing us all the time we needed with him -- before, during and after the injection. I'm so thankful that the final moments of his life included our hands on him, our voices in his ear, our scent beside him. Like your wife, I couldn't drag myself out of the room for a long time -- I kept thinking I saw his chest rising with breath. He looked like he was sleeping. Once we were in the car, I was inconsolable . . . thinking he was alone and cold on a tile floor, without a blanket. My husband kept telling me it was just his body, not him, but that gave me no comfort at the time.

My heart breaks for you and your wife as you face these sad days of grief. You're not alone; there are many of us here who've gone through it and understand. Take care.

Run free, Taz. Watch over your family as they try to adjust to life without you physically beside them. Keep them company in spirit.

Jim Burke

Posted : 6/22/2007 6:43:09 AM

Thank you Tracy. You know, there was a time when I thought less of people who "carried on" about losing an animal. I mean it's just an animal, right?

I was ignorant. I didn't understand. I know that we condition our pets to behave as a member of our family. We make them dependent on us for all their needs. But they have personalities of their own and they want to please us for no other reason than to hear us say "good boy" or whatever, and the knowledge that we're happy with them. And they are certainly capable of love.

What haunts me, and will haunt me for a long time, was the way Taz's tail was wagging. He was happy because he trusted me. I'll always wonder if there was some medication or some treatment I didn't try that might have helped him. Did I really do everything I could for him? I'm not sure. I think I might have let him down, and letting down a loved one is something I can't fathom in myself.

I know what you mean about leaving your pet on the cold floor without a blanket. It pained me to see Taz lying in a wooden box alone on the garage floor. I had to put his leash in the box with him along with a toy and the ceramic fire hydrant we kept his treats in.

I'm 51 years old, and a successful professional person. I feel stupid at how I feel about this. The only thing I've cried more for was when my own mother passed many years ago. I know these things fade with time. Perhaps this is one of Taz's gifts as well, the ability to feel loss. I dunno, but thanks again for your kind words.

mollymoo

Posted : 6/22/2007 10:47:26 PM

I fell so bad that you have to go through this. Its so hard to say good bye to someone (person or animal) you love so much. I also know that no words can take away the pain that you are feeling right now. You and your wife are in my prayers to ease the pain that you are going through at this time. I hope everyday it gets a little bit easier for you as time is your only medicine.

janobonano

Posted : 6/26/2007 4:23:18 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Taz knows how much you loved him.

Run free, good boy! [sm=angel.gif]

bragg1120

Posted : 7/12/2007 2:44:15 PM

I'm kind of late to this thread... there are some days I just can't read many items in the Rainbow Bridge section because the sadness is overwhelming.

The only thing I've cried more for was when my own mother passed many years ago. I know these things fade with time. Perhaps this is one of Taz's gifts as well, the ability to feel loss.

Last year, we lost FeFe. She was our baby for 12 years. I felt like I'd never get past it. What Tracy said is true... the feelings become manageable and the good memories bring comfort in time. I worried that we'd have to help her to the Bridge but FeFe died in my lap while we told her we loved her and I refused to let her be buried for a few hours. I hate to admit it... but even after she was buried it was very difficult for me to control the urge to dig her out to hold her body one more time. My husband lost his mother and his grandpa in a very close time frame and he said losing FeFe was just as difficult as those losses. I didn't hear him say it... but that's what he told my Dad as they buried Brownie four months ago. Both of those losses have been so difficult.... yes, they're animals and some people just don't understand the intense love we have for them -- but there are many here that do understand. Taz taught you that love and now, it's changed you for the rest of your life.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Run Free, Taz [sm=angel.gif]

marlania

Posted : 7/12/2007 9:00:15 PM

So sorry. Run free, Taz.

Jim Burke

Posted : 7/19/2007 6:41:58 PM

I've tried to post a picture of Taz but haven't figured out how to do that here.

I'm still waiting for a day to pass where I don't shed a tear for him. Thanks to all who commented, and those who didn't but who understand.

tacran

Posted : 7/19/2007 9:54:33 PM

I understand the feeling of wondering if you'll ever have a day that doesn't involve tears for your beloved Taz. Your loss is still quite recent; you may find it takes several more weeks before your emotions are a bit more manageable. And for some of us, the tears never go away entirely -- they just fall less frequently and at odd times occasionally. For example, I was scrubbing the wood floor in our kitchen the other day, and there are hundreds of deep grooves in it from our dog's claws (he weighed 125+ pounds, so he had huge paws). I see those scratches and grooves every day and am reminded of him, but that day, as I moved my sponge over them, I was suddenly filled with sadness, and I had to stop what I was doing, and run my bare fingers over them for several minutes and cry. Sometimes you just have to let it wash over you . . . at times like that, I feel his absence painfully, but it's kind of like he's near me at the same time as I remember something so vivid as him bounding across the floor. It's been over 18 months since he left us -- these instances aren't daily things, but they still occur.

I hope you can post a picture eventually. It took me months to do that (I'm not very computer literate, and I was too sad to spend a lot of time going through all my photos). Share one with us when you can. Take care.

ron2

Posted : 7/20/2007 7:15:33 PM

I'm 51 years old, and a successful professional person. I feel stupid at how I feel about this. The only thing I've cried more for was when my own mother passed many years ago. I know these things fade with time. Perhaps this is one of Taz's gifts as well, the ability to feel loss. I dunno, but thanks again for your kind words.

And I'm a big, tough guy, myself. And I cried when I had to put my old cat, Misty, to sleep, 2-17-05. And it hurt for a year. There is no shame here. And you have done the right thing. Sometimes, drastic measures might prolong life, but can also prolong pain and suffering. It takes real strength and courage to let them go, no matter how bad it hurts you. What counts most is the care and love you showed.

"When you have done so unto the least of these, you have done so unto Me."