I want to let everyone know about a special bullie named Pancake. She was born on July 6, 2010. I fell in love the first time I saw her. Right then and there I knew I would have done anything for her. I still remember the first day I brought her home like it was yesterday. She got real comfortable with her surroundings in a day. I would remember her wobble out of her kennel and come out and play with her little sheep toy that we called Sheepie. It was her very first toy. As time went by, she grew up fast, in a blink of an eye. As she was growing up, she always had skin issues but I tried my best to keep it under control. She LOVED her toys. Everytime I would come home with bags from the store, she would automatically think they were hers. The sound of the bags crinkling got her super excited and she would run towards us. Everytime we got her a new toy, she would break it in a day or two. She ran through toys like no other and I still have her toys laying next to my bed. She would always bring me a toy and would give me a look like, "Franklin, look at me play!". Everytime I would watch tv and put her on the bed with me with a toy and she would just get in front of me and demand me to watch her play with her toy. When she was excited to see someone, she would slowly do this butt wiggle to you. She was a english bulldog so she didn't really have a tail which caused her to do this "cute wiggle". Pancake LOVED butt scratches. If you were sitting on the couch with hands dangling, she would come up to you and nudge your hand and she would perfectly place her body where your hand was on her rear end. I love her so much, typing this brings me tears. On August 20, 2012 we were scheduled for a vet appointment to check out this scab that was bleeding on her shoulder and to schedule cosmetic surgery for her umbilical hernia that she had ever since she was born. I did not notice, but I was sick from the cold and I had slept in bed for the past two days prior and Pancake also had slept in bed with me. I just thought maybe she was keeping me company but never in my head did I think she was starting to get sick. When we got to the vet that day, they did some bloodwork and she was diagnosed with IMHA. She was prescribed Prednisone and Doxycycline right away and the vet warned me that if she looked bad at night we would have to rush her to the emergency room. Surely that night, I was walking Pancake and all of a sudden she just sat outside as if she had no energy. I quickly ran back in the house, got my belongings and rushed her to the Emergency Clinic. Pancake received a emergency blood transfusion. Throughout this week, she received 3 blood transfusions. It was a very difficult time. Soon enough, Pancake started to feel better and we had her on all sorts of medication to suppress her immune system. Throughout this medication time, all the side effects made her feel blah. Prednisone caused so many problems. Her right leg had a MPL and she had a torn ACL on the left due to the side effects of muscle wasting and weakness. She started to get skin infections and also had an eye infection due to her immune system being suppressed (she was prone to infections). She somehow still managed and when I got home from work and heard my voice, she would stand up and wait for me to come into the room. When she had these hind leg problems, me and my girlfriend decided to move our bed to the floor and sleep with her. At night, when me and my girlfriend were sound asleep, she would get up and get in between us and claim that space. Even when she was sick, she would nudge through her toy basket and bring me her toy and show me it and push it against my arm and would gnaw on it a little and would eventually fall asleep playing with her toy. About two months into this journey, her blood started to stabilize and I truely believe she was going into remission. We got to ween her off a little bit of the Prednisone and Azathioprine. A few days after this ween process, it seemed like she developed stuffy nose and a runny nose. She stayed up one night panting all night. The following morning I took her first thing in the morning to get her checked and they found her stomached bloated with air to the max. Her stomach had almost flipped over and this was extremely fatal if we did not do anything about it. The vets went in with a needle to decompress her stomach. I had to leave her at the vet that day and I called in to check up on her and they said she was doing good after the decompression procedure. That night she came back home with us and slept comfortably all night. The vet told us to bring her back the next day after the decompression so that they could keep an eye on her. I dropped her off in the morning and had work all day. While I was working, I get a call from the vet. By the sound of the vets voice, I already knew something wasn't right. She told me right away that she had fluid surrounding her heart. She told me it was pretty bad and that her prognosis was slim to none. I did not want to believe her and she asked if she wanted to perform a procedure where they stick a big needle in her chest and try to puncture the fluid sacs surrounding her heart. She said that Pancake might not survive the procedure and I ultimately did not go with this. I believe it would have hurt her a lot more to go through that. The way the vets were speaking to me, I did not like one bit. Ever since the get go, this vet would always talk about euthanasia and bad prognosis in front of Pancake. The day she was diagnosed with the fluid surrounding her heart, the vet had already asked me if she could do a autopsy on her. I was furious and called my girlfriend right away to bring her home. I demanded from them copies of all her bloodwork during this journey and they charged me $30 when I paid for all these bloodworks. The night after we found out she had fluid surrounding her heart was the hardest. She seemed so uncomfortable and just sat there. I did not want to give her my bad vibes so I sat in my grandmother's bathroom trying to seek guidance. I had to put up a good front in front of Pancake and show her it was going to be ok. That night she sat there until me and my girlfriend fell asleep. When I woke up, she was sleeping but I could tell her breathing had got a lot worse. She started to whine around 6:00AM on October 12, 2012. I gathered her favorite bed (her very first bed, she was way too big for it, but she managed to always find a way to get comfortable on it) and toys. I rushed her to the emergency vet and she was just very uncomfortable. On the ride to the E-Vet, I will always remember how she laid in her bed and just looked at me and my girlfriend. Slowly breathing and just laying there comfortably. When we got to the E-Vet she was panting. They put us in a room and I had to sign some paperwork for euthanasia. I ultimately wanted to go with this situation that morning because something deep down was telling me she wasn't comfortable and in a lot of pain. We arrived there at 6:30AM and sat in the room with Pancake giving her water and trying to comfort her. At 8:46 AM Central time on October 12, 2012 she passed. Me and my girlfriend were just sitting on the floor laying with her when all of a sudden her eyes widened, she kind of got up from a slouch position. I told her it's ok Pancake, I'm here and tried to comfort her. She started to take in deep breaths, as she was doing this she leaned towards me and then lean towards my girlfriend. She then suddenly got into her comfortable position and laid there. I ran to the receptionist and asked for a doctor stat. He rushed in and before he even got to use the euthanasia, she was already in a sleep state. He said her heart was beating extremely slow and he used the euthanasia to make sure she wasn't in pain. Before I knew it, she was just laying there like a beautiful angel. No more panting, no more pain. I could not contain myself. I held her and couldn't let go. I wanted her to wake up, I wanted to wake up from this bad dream. I wanted my little baby girl to be at home with me, watching football playing with her toys. I wanted her to nudge my hand for a butt scratch. Now when I come home, I come to a room that was basically hers. They took her body to the back and we ordered a ClayPaw. They basically take a piece of clay and get an imprint of her paw with her name on it. They led us to the back and we got to see her one last time. We are getting her cremated and keeping her ashes in a urn. My girlfriend has made a collage with a picture frame with her ClayPaw on it. I am still in shock...I feel emptiness in my room and my heart. Pancake has taught me a lot. She has shown this unconditional love that I will never find again. Everytime I break down and think about her, I tell her to watch over me. I keep telling her I tried my best and I hope she is waiting for me. I love her so much and as I am typing this, I look to my left and I see all her belongings in boxes and bags by her kennel. The bed she passed away on is in a bag still next to me. This is all too unreal, she was only a little over 2 years old. She has inspired me, she is the strongest pup that I know. She went through a lot with her last two months that I have gone through in my life. I would lay on the hard tile floor because it was so hard for her to move around just so that she knew I was there for her. I love you Pancake and if you are reading this, I am letting everyone know of your journey with your sickness. I am letting everyone know of how beautiful you are and how everyone knows you're an angel. I want everyone to know how loving you are. I don't want you to see me like this, but I just miss you so much. I treated you much more than a pet, you were my baby. Please watch over me Pancake, because this cruel journey called life is tough and I need your guidance.
Rest In Peace My Beautiful Girl, Pancake. July 6, 2010 - October 12, 2012 8:46AM Central.
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