So sudden

Thank you all so much for your kind words.
 
I don't know what to say other than I feel so guilty. I feel guilty when I'm smiling at my other animals and loving on them, and I feel guilty when I'm crying because I know she wouldn't want that... she was always the one to come over and snuggle with me when I was feeling down. I feel guilty because I didn't get her ashes or her body back from the vets. Sometimes I feel that was one last thing I could have done, bury her or spread her ashes... and then I think that was just her body, not her and that I shouldn't feel this way; She's in my heart.
 
I feel guilty because she'd been acting "off" the last week, but until Monday night, she seemed "okay" so I didn't have her checked out. I feel guilty because I didn't take many pictures of her... and, now that she's gone... like I didn't spend nearly enough time with her. I feel guilty because I went to class yesterday and feel I should have stayed home with my baby in her last hours... she started into shock not 15 minutes after I got home... we put her to sleep 15 minutes after that because she didn't respond to any of the emergency treatments and started convulsing.
 
I feel like I have this huge piece of my heart missing without her. She was my heart kitty and my best friend and the world feels so lonely right now because I can't go see her and hear that sweat meow she did when she saw me, even at the very end.  I wish I could hug her and kiss her head one last time... but I know I'll just want a one last time over and over again...
 
 

I think the guilt feelings come with grief and it wouldn't matter what we'd done or not done.  My heart kitty was acting so similar to Panther, lethargic and not eating, but I thought it was her teeth (the vet had said they needed cleaning).  So I took her in for a cleaning and she never recovered from the anesthesia.  Talk about guilt!!  We do the best we can and love them with all our heart.  I believe in my heart that they know that and if we make mistakes, they forgive us and understand.  Panther had a full and wonderful life with you and you are blessed with the memories of your life together.  Be kind to yourself....Panther would want that.  Hugs to you [sm=angel.gif].

[sm=sad.gif]  So sorry for your loss.  There is nothing like the love of a dear pet that we share.  So many people dont know about this, if they never loved a pet.  Still feel blessed-  that you had her and she will stay alive in your heart.
 
(I lossed my sweet boy 6 mos ago.  He was a blessing in our lives + I won't ever forget how beautiful he was.)

You're right... if you had that 'one last time' to do something with or for Miss Panther, you'd only want it over and over again.  I sure know the guilty feelings you're having.  My sweet girl, FeFe, passed away  5 months ago and I still go through rough days.  And like Miss Panther to you, she always comforted me when I was down.  She licked the tears right off my face when I couldn't stop crying. 
 
Cherish those memories & the times you spent with her and make copies of those pictures you do have.  She knows she was loved and nobody could have taken better care of her than you.  I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
 

Again, thank you every one.
 
I've started a blog in her memory. The first post is of her last few days, those that come after, I promise, will be of happier times.
 
[linkhttp://misspanther.blogspot.com/]http://misspanther.blogspot.com/[/link]

Becky - that's the beginning of a beautiful tribute to Panther.  I know the rest of it will be wonderful too and full of happier memories.