This is me in the corner, screaming

After a long and superbly pointless PM exchange with FourIsCompany:

Benedict:

Admin speaking..

Enough.  This thread does not need to turn into a train wreck.  Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, it is a measure of us all if we can pick up and move on.  If anyone has any further concerns on this issue they are welcome to contact me.

This is probably the 4th or 5th time I have seen where a staff member has made an innocent mistake but refuses to come out and simply say "Sorry. I made a mistake." It's just ignored like our feelings don't matter or that we're not owed an explanation or an apology. Or that maybe mods/staff are "too good" to admit a simple mistake. I don't know... I can't figure it out.

It reminds me of Bush. He's made so many mistakes, yet when pressed to simply admit it, he refuses.

I don't know if this is policy or what, but it's really terrible, in my opinion. My estimation of a person plummets when they've made a mistake but are too... what? good? arrogant? important? to offer a simple apology to another human being. On the other hand, I think more highly of them when they are big enough to actually acknowledge their humanity and be kind enough to say, "Aw, sorry, man. My mistake... "

And one by one, the staff is falling like flies in the group of people I admire... For that one reason.

Just FYI. 

Carla,

I'm terribly sorry you feel that way, but your message is itself rather rude and insulting, not to mention that it makes assumptions that aren't correct.  Where possible, we take issues off the public threads, meaning that if a discussion/apology to a member is needed we do so via PM because it is almost always a private matter.  The mods/admins/myself are acutely aware that members aren't always thrilled with the decisions we make, but neither are we always thrilled that it doesn't occur to people that perhaps things go on "behind the scenes" that they are not aware of.

Kind regards,

Kate

Kate, At least 2 times, these mistakes were made with ME. And mentioning it to you, an admin, is rude? If I can't discuss it in a thread (which I didn't) and it's rude and insulting to contact an admin about it, there's not much left for me to do - but wish I hadn't contacted you, of course.

I'm sorry to bother you. I didn't mean to be rude or insulting. I meant to bring something to your attention. What can I say? Never mind.

FourIsCompany:

And one by one, the staff is falling like flies in the group of people I admire... For that one reason.

FourIsCompany:

My estimation of a person plummets when they've made a mistake but are too... what? good? arrogant? important? to offer a simple apology to another human being.

FourIsCompany:

Or that maybe mods/staff are "too good" to admit a simple mistake. I don't know... I can't figure it out.

 

 

Carla,

Am I then to believe that the above is the politest way you could have brought this to my attention?  It isn't the fact that you shared your concerns that is rude, but the manner in which you did it does demean your argument somewhat. 

All members have recourse if they believe a mod/admin has made a mistake and they are owed an apology.  If you get no satisfaction from the member of staff in question there are others you can contact.   

Kind regards,

Kate

No. I could have been more polite. I'm sorry.

But the very problem I wrote to address has me feeling quite unimportant and somewhat frustrated. You say I have recourse, but it really doesn't seem like I do. If your response to me depends not my the problem I'm having but on the politeness which with I bring it to you, then I really don't have recourse. I guess I could write to Jill, but I don't want to go there.

Benedict:

If you get no satisfaction from the member of staff in question there are others you can contact.   

Since this has happened with 2 mods, I thought going to the admin was the right thing to do. But now that I've screwed that up, I'm just going to let it go (as I have had to do with the other complaints I've had). As I should have done from the start. 

Your quote from the thread encouraged people to contact you if they had a problem. That's what I did. And instead of addressing or even being curious about my problem, you addressed my rudeness. I apologize if I was rude. But that does nothing to address the problem. And now you're telling me to contact someone else... Why would I do that? If they're just going to find fault with my complaint?

Carla,

I am admittedly confused.  In my first response, I said this:

Where possible, we take issues off the public threads, meaning that if a discussion/apology to a member is needed we do so via PM because it is almost always a private matter.

since I was under the impression that you were asking about our "policy" generally on apologising to members when it is warranted.  In as much as we have a policy, that is it.  None of us is perfect and we apologise where we a) see fit and/or b) when the member requests it.

Now it seems as though you are referring to specific instances, involving yourself.  In that case of course you should come to me, but I don't know what instances you're talking about unless you fill me in?

 Yes, I did address the manner of your post in my original reply, but I also truly felt as though I had addressed your concern.  It appears as though I have not, so please fill me in.  I really do want to hear them. 

Kate

I'm sorry Kate. You seem to be missing my entire point. I'm not making a complaint on specific instances in hopes of getting an apology. I'm not going to get an apology. I don't actually want one. A mod not being willing to admit a mistake is no reflection on me. I'm just saying how it looks from out here. That's all.

I really just wanted to say what I said. My first PM says Just FYI and that's really all it was. It was an observation. A PM to you. Not a complaint in hopes of getting a resolution.

I don't want anything. Except to give you information. And why I wanted to that, I'm at a loss to explain.

I'm really sorry I bothered you with this. Really. And in the future, I'll think twice and three times before making contact. Interestingly, every single time I've contacted a mod about board business, they have been instantly defensive and it has turned into a drama event. As long as I'm talking about personal stuff, everything's fine. But if I mention something that's going on on the board, it seems you (mods) get very, very defensive. No need. I'm not attacking, just giving you information.

ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Thank you, that is all.