choosing a breed for our family

I hope you are able to find lots of good advice here, but we will need a little more information. 
Have you ever owned dogs before?  The reason for this question is that some breeds, are better suited for more experienced owners.  even though I grew up around dogs I didn't really know anything about having my own dog
 How much time will you be able to spend training and exercing a dog? All dogs require exercise and training, some more than others.  Staffie do need a lot of exercise and training.
Do you have a fenced in yard?  All dogs need to be kept safe, but some are more prone to wandering.
How much space do you have?
What do you mean by protection?  Most dogs will try to protect their territory and families.  Sometimes a dog that can bark loud  or just looks big is all you need to feel safe.
 
I can't really give any advice about the Staffie, I have never owned one.
I do think that with the 2 young kids at home you may be better off with an adult dog.  I would suggest that after you narrow down the breed you look at rescues, those dogs are in foster families for awhile before adoption and the rescuers may have a better idea of how the dog will behave around young kids.
Keep in mind that getting a dog is a huge commitment and with 2 young kids you already have a lot going on.  Some rescue organization may be concerned that it will be too much for you at this time.

I have a good friend who has a StaffieBull.  I think they are wonderful dogs, but probably not for first time owners.  Additionally, Staffies are on that "bad dog" list, so check your homeowner's insurance, housing convenants AND city/county regs to make sure this breed is allowed where you live. 

I've only known a couple Staffie's and I've found them to be incredibly charming - they both just make me smile to be around them. But, they are owned by very experienced dog owners who spend a great deal of time training them and keeping their minds as well as their bodies exercised. And, although both these staffies are well behaved around other dogs, both owners are adamant that they would never leave their dog unsupervised around any other animal. So, unless you have some experience with dogs, and have more time to devote to doggie activities than the typical parent of two young children, I would strongly recommend that you consider a different breed.

I would also urge you to rethink the "protective" angle. The most important thing that a dog can protect you from is a lawsuit that could wipe you out entirely if he bites someone, especially a kid, in a misguided attempt to protect his family. Your two young children will soon be having other kids coming to visit and to hang out. Young kids are known to get into squabbles and even physical altercations. Do you really want a "protective" dog in that situation? Most dogs will bark when a stranger approaches, and most will at least make a show of "protecting" if their family is physically threatened. That is usually enough to discourage most non-professional thieves and other bad folks, especially if the dog is medium sized or larger. And the professional bad guys know how to deal with truly threatening dogs. So, some dogs that are physically imposing yet sensible enough not to bite the neighbor's kid in the face if he gets in a tussle with your child would include well bred labs, well bred goldens, most of the scent hounds, samoyeds (lots of grooming though), bernese mountain dogs, greater swiss mountain dogs, flat coat retrievers, bearded collies, rough or smooth collies (not border collies!), a well bred boxer (pretty energetic dog though), clumber or field spanials (kind of rare though), or an adult mix whose temperament is already known. In fact, consider an adult no matter what breed you get. Puppies are a lot more work than you might think, and you already have a big time commitment to two young children.

I read your 1st paragraph and my gut said "STAFFY!"  I am a little biased cos I really love the breed.  But they are well known for being good with children (known as "nanny dogs") They are hyper-human friendly (as any bully breed should be) and they are loyal to their family.  Simply their bulk and presence can be a comfort to you and a deterrent to any would be intruder.
 
I have a little experience with them, only a little (used to get a lot in the rescue kennels where I worked) and they are a wonderful breed.  We currently have a staffy cross.  I think provided you "do your homework" before acquiring the dog and really go the extra mile to find a reputable breeder/shelter you wiill be fine.
 
If I were in your position I would be tempted to get a puppy rather than a dog with an unknown history... but they take so much TIME and a puppy and a toddler might be biting off more than you can chew.... It depends what you feel you can cope with. 
 
Get in touch with the breed rescue (whichever breed you choose) they often have adult dogs surrendered through no fault of their own.  Sometimes breeders also have older dogs for rehoming, again through no fault of their own.  Whether or not you choose to get a pup, if you decide on a pedigree breed or a mix of that breed I think it's a really good idea to visit breeders and talk to them to get advice and information on the breed.... Ethical breeders will not mind giving you time and help regardless of whether you choose to buy a pup from them.
 
With bully breeds it's really important to make sure you know about bite inhibition and the best way to teach it and make sure the whole of your family follow the same rules in this regard.  Biting, chewing and mouthing are all normal behaviours, especially in puppies, but you can imagine that in a breed with such immense jaw strength this can hurt as they get older and can be quite dangerous if they are not taught to curb it at a young age.  Use the forum search facility, there is literally TONS of info on bite inhibition!!
 
Early socialisation is important with any puppy but is especially important for bully breeds.... as a terrier they do (generally speaking) have a lower tolerance of other dogs than other breeds and their incredible strength alone makes them dangerous....  If another dog picked a fight with a staff you KNOW which dog would come off worse and you know which one would be blamed - regardless of who was actually at fault.  So *good* puppy classes are a must (go by yourslef first to make sure they are well run and you are comfortable with them)  You need to be very careful to manage them so that all their early experiences with other dogs are positive.  I have also found it very useful with our staffy cross to teach "sit beside me" as a default behaviour when we are out walking.  She does it automatically now when we see another dog approach.  I used food to achieve this - and create a +ve association with other dogs at the same time.  This is useful because it gives me chance to take evasive action if the dog is an unknown quantity, or if I know them I can check with the other owner if its OK for them to say "hi".  You have to be very proactive at avoiding confrontation.... that can't be emphasised enough because they were bred for unscrupulous purposes in the past and you really don't want to "wake up" that dormant fighting instinct.

I've always found Staffies to be quite charming.  Quite the happy go lucky bully breed if you ask me xD  I know nothing about them beyond the fact that they're a pretty darn cool breed (if not a bit goofy and headstrong sometimes).
 
Some people disagree, but I personally think that a GSD is a great "first time" dog.  Many people end up with them as their first pet ever, and the reason people end up giving them up isn't because of the breed itself...it's because THEY didn't do the proper research on it.
 
The downside to most herding breeds is they can be "nippy" when they're young, and when that prey drive kicks in, you have to learn to control it right away, lest they begin "herding" your children (and they will do it...my GSD has pulled my brother away from the road by the belt loops and kept him in the yard).
 
And then, of course, there is always the ever happy "Family dog" extraordinaire....the Golden Retriever.  I suggest the Golden over the Lab because IME, they're more biddable.  While both dogs are very much family dogs, the Golden is more "What can I do for you m'lady?" where as every so often, the Labrador will pull a "What's in it for me, bud?"  which leads to frustration.
 
Also, like in GSDs, there is a division in style.  Field, and show.  If you don't plan on hunting and want a more mild mannered dog, I'd go with a showline dog.  They're more easy going, and while they still require a fair bit of exercise, they're not pouncing you every two minutes with a toy going "Throw the ball, throw the ball, throw the ball! Oooo! I'm sick of ball!  Let's play tuggy!  Ok, no, wait, I dun wanna play tuggy, LET'S GO JOGGING!!!!!"
 
It creates a funny image in one's head...but it's not so funny when you have to live with it.
 
If you end up deciding you want a specific breed, but would prefer to rescue, there are many breed specific rescues that could match you with the right dog

Some people disagree, but I personally think that a GSD is a great "first time" dog. Many people end up with them as their first pet ever, and the reason people end up giving them up isn't because of the breed itself

Hey it was great to read that.  I've never owned my own dog and I've already been researching breeds for a few years and am all but settled on a GSD.

Anyway, to the OP, I know someone with a 1 year old and a toddler and they got a cocker spaniel and love it.  They made sure to do puppy obedience classes, but this dog is going to be great.  My in-laws also have an 11 year old cocker and while their kids are all grown, I can see how he's always been a great dog, especially for a family that isn't really into purebred dogs and dog sports, just a companion animal.  I don't think cockers are really meant to protect, but I think any dog can be protective.  Sammy has never growled or bitten me, but once I was tickling my husband (don't ask, he's REALLY ticklish) and he started screaming and the cocker gave me a little warning bark, hehe.  He also barks when people approach the house.  He won't growl and will happily greet them once inside, but he does alert when people are coming to the house.  Besides some problems with floppy ears and needing regular haircuts, they seem to be relatively low maintenence and have always struck me as just looking like really cute, happy dogs.  Some dogs you just look at them and can tell they only want to work work work, or have a sneaky ulterior motive, but not this cocker!  He just wants to be petted, do his tricks for an occasiona treat, and play tug with his rope.

I've read many times that boxers are GREAT family dogs, especially with toddlers, and just their looks alone provide an element of protection/intimidation.  A highschool classmate has two of them.  Recently a man broke into her house and was trying to rape her at gunpoint, but became so intimidated by her boxers that he eventually ran away.  The dogs didn't even attack him (one of them was sick, which is why she was sleeping with them and did not have them crated, thank god!!).

What a wealth of information! Thanks, everyone, first of all.
 
To give a little background, we have what I consider a "normal" sized yard. Big enough to run around in; it is fenced.
 
As for my comment regarding protection, I simply want the visual intimidation. Like the Boxers Liesje mentioned. While I'm sure there are super Chihuahuas who would fight to the death for their families, they're hardly going to make the guy peeking through a window or the fence think twice, you know? [] 
 
I'm a stay at home mom, so I do feel confident that I've got time to devote to whichever new family member we bring in. Several years ago I got in over my head with a new puppy, but I was single with a toddler and, well....got in over my head, like I said. Roxie found a home with my parents and is currently my eldest daughter's bestest buddy ever. So I know better now than to commit when it's not the right time/situation for us.
 
To be honest, I'm wary of adopting an adult dog, only because I wouldn't know his history. I know a reputable shelter will have done lots of work with the dog to ensure good behavior, but I just feel more comfortable raising the dog from puppyhood.
 
I do appreciate everyone's awesome responses and advice! I'll keep on doing my research so that when the time comes, we're ready!

If you want intimidation based on looks, I'd look into a boxer, GSD, staffie, or St. Bernard.  I've read Saints can be good family dogs and will enjoy children, if you are not put off by their size and drool.  And they can be rather intimidating!  But like everyone says, every breed has their pros and cons and every puppy is different.  One good thing about going for a well-bred puppy is the breeder will match you with the puppy and if they don't believe your family is right for their dogs, they won't sell you one.

Whichever breed you choose, make sure to buy from a reputable breeder, NOT out of the paper or at the pet store. Since you say nothing about showing, I assume that a pet quality puppy would be fine. As for shelter dogs (as a shelter volunterr I can honsetly say this!) many are the very best!!! I have a Pit mix at my shelter right who would fullfill all the requirements you mention. I also have other breeds/mixes as well that are great with kids/dogs, etc. but who will watch over the house and family without any formal "guard dog" training.

Are you sure you are talking about Staffordshire bull terriers, or have you confused them with Amercian Staffordshire terriers? Am Staffs are the larger of the two and are  a bit more intimidating (to a burglar) because of the added size.  I currently own an Am Staff and she HAS stopped a bad guy from entering our home. Staffy bulls are delightful little dogs who looove kids as do Am Staffs.  Both dogs have a high pain tolerance which is great when the dog will probably be poked and prodded  by toddlers while  growing up.

These are not dogs for the meek and mild! Terriers in general have a true zest for life and live it to the fullest.  They are bundles of energy and often have a high prey drive since the terriers in general were bred to kill vermin. They are extremely integlligent, love people and can be very, very stubborn when they see a preceived wrong or slight. Be prepared to train EVERY DAY to keep you Am Staff/Staffy bull engaged and sharp. Also, not all bullies (as they are affectionately known) are good withother dogs.  This is a legacy of their time in the fighting rings.  My girl loves other dogs; not everyone is so lucky.

When they are puppies, they may well drive you to distraction.  Once they are grown, they are a true delight.

Check your HOA and local legislation to see if Breed Specific Legislation has reared its ugly head in your neck of the woods. Colorado, for example, has areas where NO bull breed is welcome. Also check you renter's/home owner's insurance to make sure they will insure either of these breeds.  My insurance agent has personally met my bitch and sees that she poses a threat to nobody except with her killer TONGUE!

Where are you located?  There are many great rescue organizations for the bull breeds!  BADRAP (in California) comes to mind.  They work with their dogs before they are palced.  usually, they foster out the dogs until they are ready for adoption so they can learn house manners and get basic obedience training.

Keep us posted and let us know what breed you finally decide to add to your family.



 

I would personally stay away from the Boxer.  Don't get me wrong, I've had one...LOVED her.  Very very sweet and loving, GREAT breed.....but not for a family with two children so small.
 
Take your two kids, and multiply the trouble they get into by 320352308509832049014.  And there's your Boxer until 2-4 years of age xD
 
Sarah was wonderful...after 4 years of age.  Before that she:
Pulled the siding off the house
Ate the entire circumference of a tree trunk's bark
Chewed through the downspouts on the side of the house
Ate an entire raw beef roast (Everything but the net o.o)
Chewed a hole threw the dry wall
Dug a gigantic mudhole in the back yard
 
And and and.  And this is partially because she wasn't mentally stimulated enough.  Boxers are GREAT dogs when you have the time and energy to devote to them, but when you don't....well......they put GSDs and Retrievers to shame with the things they destroy.  As far as they're concerned, your couch is just a big chew toy.  Your bedspread is just another object to play tug of war with.  Your lamp....well it's just fun to knock over xD
 
They are also not known for their patience.  I mean, you can find an exceptional dog in any and every breed, but my experience with Boxers (even the most stable) is "bite first, ask questions later".  They're a very "pro active" breed, and aren't ones to sit on the sidelines and wait.  They like to take matters into their own paws, and require a firm (but fair) upbringing.
 
Perhaps if you did consider an adult Boxer, things would work out just fine, but I wouldna suggest an adolescent to my worst enemy xD Awesome breed....for the right person.  In the wrong hands they can be a drooly disaster.

Staffies definatly are cool dogs.  Rough collies are easy to train and great with kids and can look intimidating.  They have high grooming needs and need excersise. My collie wasn't raised with kids and yet she was excellent with them, she was really trainable and learned fast. I also had a male boxer who was excellent with kids, he was never over hyper and was excellent in the house, the only problem I ever had with him was other dogs fighting with him, he was very good tho but if another dog started the fight he would be sure to finish it.  He was a great watch dog and was very intimidating, he even saved a young boy from a german shepard(the owners of this dog did not train this dog at all and she was outside all the time in a small kennel, the lady didn't even yell at her dog for going after the boy).  And sometimes just a good ol mutt from a shelter can be a great family dog. \one of my childhood dogs was a border collie/pekenese/poodle and he was sooo great with kids and even tho he looked all soft and fuzzy, he was the best watch/guard dog our family ever had.  So good luck in finding a dog for your family.

I don't know much about Staffie's, but thought I'd weigh in with some suggestions anyway. []
 
What about a Newfoundland or an English Bulldog? Both have pretty laid-back happy attitudes, need very little excercise, & have a fairly high pain tolerance.  Easy-going enough to put up with the well-intended irritation of small children and not so needy that you'd have to entertain them the whole time. Both are fairly intimidating for their own special reasons and are known to love children. What I've read about Newfies calls them "nature's babysitter."  (Nana from Peter Pan was actually ment to be a Newfie, not a St. like the cartoon portrayed her as.) 
 
Good for you for researching before you bring a dog home!

ORIGINAL: missa

What a wealth of information! Thanks, everyone, first of all.

To give a little background, we have what I consider a "normal" sized yard. Big enough to run around in; it is fenced.

As for my comment regarding protection, I simply want the visual intimidation. Like the Boxers Liesje mentioned. While I'm sure there are super Chihuahuas who would fight to the death for their families, they're hardly going to make the guy peeking through a window or the fence think twice, you know? [] 

I'm a stay at home mom, so I do feel confident that I've got time to devote to whichever new family member we bring in. Several years ago I got in over my head with a new puppy, but I was single with a toddler and, well....got in over my head, like I said. Roxie found a home with my parents and is currently my eldest daughter's bestest buddy ever. So I know better now than to commit when it's not the right time/situation for us.

To be honest, I'm wary of adopting an adult dog, only because I wouldn't know his history. I know a reputable shelter will have done lots of work with the dog to ensure good behavior, but I just feel more comfortable raising the dog from puppyhood.

I do appreciate everyone's awesome responses and advice! I'll keep on doing my research so that when the time comes, we're ready!

Breeds to think about:
Leonberger
Foxhound
Newfoundland
English Cocker Spaniel
Keeshond
Old English Sheepdog
Portuguese Water Dog

ORIGINAL: missa 

To be honest, I'm wary of adopting an adult dog, only because I wouldn't know his history. I know a reputable shelter will have done lots of work with the dog to ensure good behavior, but I just feel more comfortable raising the dog from puppyhood.

 
Sometimes at the shelter you can find dogs that aren't adults, but just past the "new puppy" stage.  They're still very much puppies, but there's a chance that someone could have already been working with them on the housetraining and leash walking.  That would make things a lot easier for you.  Max was between 3 and 5 months when I got him, and he was totally and reliably housetrained (using the doggy door by himself) in less than a week and he knew that "no" meant to drop whatever he had in his mouth.  It was pretty obvious that somebody and been teaching him something. He was only in the shelter for 10 days and I doubt they had the time to really work with him on anything.
 
Joyce