My little wonder dog Nikki passed away today.

Here is a picture of Nikki in her get up and go outfit when we used to go for rides.
 
Ride the big one in the skies my beloved sweetie tzu. Don't forget your goggles girlfriend! Love mom.

I am so sorry for your loss.  Try to remember that great day Nikki
had at the beach a few months ago.  Run free Nikki. 
 
 
 

Well, I've tried to post three times now, and each time I failed through my tears. I'm sorry Angel. My heart will ache with you. Run free sweet girl.

I am so so sorry.  It's so hard to find words at times like this.

Last night was just as hard as the first two nights trying to get some sleep without her next to me. I sobbed into her blanket which still has her sweet scent. I clutch it like I'm Lynus who needs their blankie for security. I hug it tight and sob so hard. Her death has really taken it's tole on my heart and soul. I miss her so dearly, even tho I know it was the best decision I could do for her, for her not to suffer, but I feel so lost without my shadow. I just don't know how to explain it. I have never had such a strong bond with a dog as her. Even tho Dylan and I are a pair, a piece of work in progress, he's another one that will crush my spirit when he goes. In the meantime, I try to fill my days with love and attention to the others in my pack.
 
The second hardest thing was to take her crate apart, bedding, toys, dishes, and her personal clothing to pack away in her treasure chest along with her journal which I made her final entry in it. Her ashes will return on the 16th of Feb, then I will close this chapter. Never forgotten and always loved.
 
I do remember the times of fun and the funny things she did to make me laugh, but I cry and laugh at the same time about it. It was her that made me love the breed of Shih Tzu's. She just affected my life so much that I didn't know exactly how much she affected me and touched my soul with her sweet spirit. And forever, I will be greatful I had the pleasure of loving, caring, compassion, and having a wonderful relationship we had. She was and is my Sweetie Tzu now and forever.
 
Thank you all for your understanding, compassion, kind words, and tears shared with me. It is people like you all, that I can relate to, understand, and bond with. Because you know and have walked in my shoes just as I have walked in yours. For that, I love each and everyone of you for all you do for me. It means more than words could ever express.
 
Angel and Nikki star dust.
 

i am so sorry my uncles dogs got ran over a couple of months ago and one of them died

I`m so sorry for your loss. Nothing I can say will ease the pain I know that. You have to take it day by day. In some cases hour by hour. I had tears reading your post. I also looked at Suzy and Fluffys urns on the shelf. The pain never goes away just get alittle easier to live with. You were the best mom she could have ever had. You have so many memories. They help.
 

I do remember the times of fun and the funny things she did to make me laugh, but I cry and laugh at the same time about it

 
I`ve been there too.
 
 
My prayers are with you at this time.

Angel, I'm so sorry I didn't see your post about Nikki sooner!  Many times I've wondered how Nikki was doing; you both crossed my mind whenever I saw a dog like Nikki, and I always smiled to myself when I thought about the beautiful posts you wrote about your bike and boat rides together.  Those images are really vivid in my mind because of the wonderful descriptions you gave us, and in reading them, I knew you had a very unique and deep relationship with Nikki. 
 
So much of what you've said in your posts these last 2 or 3 days reminds me of how I was after Tonka died.  I spent hours with my face in his blanket, on his couch, his towels, anywhere I could find his scent.  The worst day was when I couldn't find anything that smelled like him anymore, even though I didn't wash anything.
 
I honestly thought I would die from sobbing - when I finally had to drag myself to work 3 days later, and I looked at myself in the mirror before I took a shower, I looked like I had aged several years.  My eyes were slits, my face was drawn, my skin was raw. 
 
Even now, just over a year later, I still ache for him, especially when I turn out the light, and I can't feel him snuggled next to me, with his gentle snores to soothe me to sleep.  The pain of not having him here with me is still part of each day, but it's subdued.  
 
Imagining our departed furbabies as angels, strong and healthy at the Bridge, watching over other animals still on earth that need comfort, makes me feel better.  I'll ask Tonka tonight to find Nikki and say hello.  He was very, very fond of tiny dogs, despite his huge size.  He'll be happy to meet her.
 
You're in my thoughts, and I'm sending you all my sympathy during these dark days.  Hugs to you.

Tracy, you are right on. I know Tonka will say hello and hang with her too, as with my beloved Beau too. He loved small dogs, and kittens especially. She is with all of our departed fur babies, and making new friends.
 
Nikki was like an apendage. You never saw one without the other. This is why it is so hard on me. I feel so lost, so alone and empty without her. I didn't realize just how much I depended on her as she depended on me.

Sleeping at night is not the best of times lately. I still clutch her blanket and draw in her scent, and cry myself to sleep. The house is so quiet without her, just not the same around here without my little Mrs.Wiggins, as I would call her sometimes. I have fond memories and pictures of her, but, just not the same as having her soft, warm, little kisses and snuggles close to me. I miss that interaction so much. I miss listening to her breath softly next to me. I miss her little pitter patter of her feet in the house.
I know you guys are right, in time the pain will subside but never really goes away. And yes, she is whole again. Not blind, not deaf, young and vigorous, playful and loving life again as a young pup should.
I would love for her to come back into my life as a puppy and do it all over again. Nikki was such a funny, fun, loving, compassionate companion to me. I will miss her and do miss her so very deeply.
 
My eyes are slits, and I probably don't want to look into the mirror and see how much I have aged either. I just feel so alone without my little girl. She even would sit behind me as I typed on the computer... Nothing is the same with her gone. Nothing.. Nothing I do is the same or familiar to me. A new routine and protocal around here.
 
Did I ever tell you guys she was an ice creamaholic? My girlfriend and I had gone to our favorite pet store in Gainesville, FL. Earth Pets, a natural health, hollistic, fun pet store to go too. I am sure Callie has gone in there before also.
 
Anyway, they have ice cream for dogs in there. My girlfreind bought some for her dog Lola, and Nikki. A small amount, well, I bought some too because I also like it. Silly me I know. We got in our car, got the girls into their seats one at each window and gave them their treats. I had put down my bag of goodies into the middle of the two of them, with my cup of ice cream on top of all of the goodies, while I was helping Marianna strap in Lola into her seat, Nikki proceeded to eat her ice cream, then decided to help herself to mine. By the time we got everything situated and packed in just right, Nikki had eaten all but one bite of my ice cream. We laughed, cause I told Marianna she loved ice cream and had purchased a small one when I had said she could have a little larger one. My girlfriend said, their is no possible way this little 8lb dog can eat that much. Nikki showed her!
 
From then on when we went to that store, Marianna, bought her the larger size. She could out eat anyone in ice cream. That was her ultimate favorite treat in the whole wide world. Vanilla Ice cream. Nikki was not one for cookies, jerky or bones. Ice cream was her vice. She also loved her yogurt too.
 
I miss playing peek a boo with her. She would snuggle under the covers, and I would say where did my little white girl go? She would pop her head out from under the covers as if to say I'm here mom are you daft? Just the look on her face was priceless.
She even did this being deaf, cause we played that game since the time she came into my loving arms.

I will always cherrish the memories we shared, created, and lived. She was my special little Sweetie Tzu and there will never be another like her. She was one in a million gem of a dog. A fur companion I loved dearly. I would give anything to have her back in my life again, anything.

Angel,  so sorry to hear about Nikki.  We both had to make that decision on the 6th so I have not been on much with everything going on. 
 
Nikki was a special doggie sent from Heaven for a special dog Mom.  She will always be with you even if you cannot see her.  Take care of yourself and post all the stories of her you want.  I love reading them.  Peace to you dear.

Robin, I am so sorry to hear you also had to make the same decision as I had to on the 6th also. I will email you privately my friend. We can grieve together.
 
Hugs to you Robin. I share your pain also.
 
Angel

Angel - I'm so sorry to hear about Nikki.  I hadn't seen the post until just today.  I can't imagine what you must be feeling after sharing your life with her for such a very long time.  You were both truly blessed though and I hope the hole in your heart will soon be filled with wonderful memories.  Hugs to you []

I didn't see this till today, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about Nikki.  I so understand your pain having been there so recently myself.....

Angel--I just saw this.  I've been trying to limit my time here for my own good. 
 
I'm soooooo, so sorry. 
 
I can imagine how you feel.  I got a little emotional the other day when as I was looking at my calendar I realized something. . .I blinked. . .and Willow's already been here 4 years. . .[&:]  It seems our time together is flying by and it's scary and it panics me sometimes. 
 
Your girl lived a wonderful long life and you did the right thing for her at the end as you always have.  I'm sure she's found friends now and is walking right alongside God, who made all dogs in his likeness. 
 
I hope you find some comfort during this difficult time.  Feel free to PM too.  [sm=angel.gif]

Angel,
 
I just saw this too. Your loss brings tears to my eyes. I'm so very sorry. We all know those empty spots when a beloved pet and friend leaves us.
 
Hang in there. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
(((((hugs)))))