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bring home a new baby

Last post 10-16-2007 5:18 PM by spiritdogs. 15 replies.
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  • 10-14-2007 7:13 PM

    • vega1star
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    bring home a new baby

    Hi Everyone,

    Do you have any advice about bringing home a baby?  We are due to have a new addition in about 8 weeks.  This will be our first baby, though both dogs have been around children before.  Lucy is about 2 and excellent with children.  She will actually soldier crawl up to infants and lick them every so gently.  I'm not at all worried about her.  After a while I imagine she won't give the baby a second thought.  It's Toby I'm worried about.  He's SUPER excited pretty much all the time.  He's about a year and I truly hope he will grow out of this.  I had my friend's baby over the other day, he's about 10 months old.  Toby was loving on him, ever so excitedly.  I was holding onto Toby being very mindful and yet somewhere in all the licking he managed to get so excited that bumped up against the baby with him mouth and broke the skin, about the size of a needle ***.  The baby was really scared and I'm sure it did hurt because it bled slightly.  I was mortified.  Toby was reprimanded and removed from the situation.  He was NOT being malicious, just overly excited but in this instance his motives don't really matter, as they will not with our child. 

    We have worked very hard with Toby as he has had a number of issues, primarily revolving around his excited and submissive demeanor.  He's been through puppy obedience and can do all the tricks, so it's not a lack of training.  However we have not overcome jumping when DH or I come home, nor have we concurred his submissive peeing behavior, though thanks to some excellent advice and websites, we are making large strides!!!  

    Any thoughts on what direction we should take?  

     
    Thanks!!!
    Carla

     

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  • 10-14-2007 7:25 PM In reply to vega1star

    • Cita
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    Re: bring home a new baby

    I know there are a lot of posts that have dealt with this before - maybe try a search of the archives for more info? I've heard people recommend buying a tape of "baby sounds" and playing it at home to get your dogs used to the crying and noisemaking and such, taking baby-scented things home from the hospital before you actually take the baby home if you stay for a while, and setting certain "baby-only zones" that are off limits to your dogs. Places like the baby's room or crib or other places you wouldn't want the dogs being annoying.

    For Toby, I'd recommend a professional trainer coming to your house ASAP. As annoying as his behavior is now, when you also have a brand new baby to worry about, it's going to be 10000% more frustrating. I think it would really help keep you sane to work on getting him "perfect" *now* instead of waiting til after the baby.

    Hopefully more people who actually know what they're talking about will come along soon :) I have no experience with babies at all so I'm just going off what I've heard other people recommend. Hope it's helpful, and congrats on the little one!! 

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  • 10-14-2007 7:32 PM In reply to vega1star

    Re: bring home a new baby

    vega1star:
    Any thoughts on what direction we should take?  
     

    Here's how I answered another person who is bringing home a baby:

    New Addition 

    It sounds like you will have a job on your hands and you should start right away. There are some links in the above thread. I think it will be wise to do quite a bit of training beforehand and management after the baby comes home.

    Good luck and congratulations!  

    LSTM (Laughing Silently to Myself)

    Click Daily to Give Free Food and Care to Animals:
    http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3
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  • 10-14-2007 7:40 PM In reply to vega1star

    Re: bring home a new baby

    How much "downtime"  do your dogs get every day?  They WILL get less of your attention once your little one is here, no matter how hard you try not to let that happen.  It is inevitable.  In order to prevent jealousy or depression, start giving them time every day where they hang out without the humans in the house.  Make this a pleasant time - let them have a stuffed Kong each, or some interactive toys.  Get some baby gates and/or crates if you dont have some already.  This way you can seperate either dog from the baby if need be without them feeling totally excluded. 

    Have you got them accustomed to normal sights, sounds, smells and experiences associated with babies?  A recording of a baby crying for example.  Have you taken them for a walk with the pushchair (if you will be using one)?  You could get a doll, or just a bundle wrapped in blankets to rock, sing to, change "feed" etc.  Get some baby-smelling clothes (powder, lotion etc) and let them sniff them.  That sort of thing.  Even if you don't do these things, its important to think "what will change when the baby arrives" and change that NOW.  So, for example, if the dogs will no longer be allowed in a certain room or on certain furniture - put that in place now and give them time to adjust before the arrival.

    I was in a very similar situation to you.  I had one dog that was a total pro about babies and young children and very very gentle.  The other -loving but just waaaay too exciteable.  Do not under estimate the power of modelling.  If Toby sees that his buddy is being calm and gentle towards the baby and is allowed to stay in the room with you, he will very likely make a connection.  But you do have to be consistent and persistent.  Start now - quietly praise and encourage calm behaviour and ignore or very gently eject to behind a dog gate for hyper behaviour.  Be quick - don't let the dog become over excited and then in 5 minutes put them away to calm down, you need to catch it straight away.  Don't encourage hyper behaviour indoors, or at least not where the baby will be most of the time (probably your living room).  Encourage and initiate calm and relaxed behaviours... offer them a chew, try giving them a massage or training "go to bed" or "watch me", that kind of thing.  This is what we did and it worked very well for us.  William is now 6 months old and he loves all the animals!

    "Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." (Pratchett, Jingo)

    "I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'" - Fred Jungclaus
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  • 10-15-2007 1:49 AM In reply to Chuffy

    • Dog_ma
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    Re: bring home a new baby

    I have never understood the whole carry-around-a-doll thing. Dogs aren't stupid, and a doll smells and sounds nothing like an actual baby. I think for a person a baby doll seems like a reasonable substitution because we are sight oriented, but for a dog?  I am never going to buy that plastic and non-moving has anything to do with flesh and squirmy.  

    I obedience trained my dogs.  I brought home my baby.  I never left baby and dogs unattended.  I had gates and X pens to use when I needed them, but for the most part I figured if I did my job everything would be ok.  

    Babies are the easy part.  Toddlers?  Whole different ball of wax.  Depending on the dogs and kids in question, toddlers can be a whole lotta work!

     

    ETA - with a young baby, I'd forget the stroller for a while.  A sling or other baby carrier is great for walking dogs.  Everyday, my daughter and I took our two dogs for a walk.  She was in a baby carrier, and I had a leash in each hand.  Good exercise for mom! Baby carriers are Yes



    "Are you a dog trainer?"
    "No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night."
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  • 10-15-2007 9:06 AM In reply to Dog_ma

    Re: bring home a new baby

    Dog_ma:
    Dogs aren't stupid, and a doll smells and sounds nothing like an actual baby. I think for a person a baby doll seems like a reasonable substitution because we are sight oriented, but for a dog? 
     

    Absolutely true! That's why you put baby powder on the doll. And yes, dogs are more scent oriented than sight (unless you have a sight hound)  but they CAN see. And to see you carrying around this little bundle that's separate from yourself (It could be a potato sack slathered with baby powder, wrapped in the real baby's blanket, but a baby doll is lighter) is just one more piece of information for the dog to have. If that's ALL you did to prepare the dog, I totally agree that there are other things a person should choose to do, but since it's just one of many bits of information, I think it could be helpful.
     

    LSTM (Laughing Silently to Myself)

    Click Daily to Give Free Food and Care to Animals:
    http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3
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  • 10-15-2007 12:26 PM In reply to FourIsCompany

    • Dog_ma
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    Re: bring home a new baby

    But but but! LOL.  You're not supposed to use baby powder on babies anymore.  (It is a health hazard.)  Maybe you could smear diaper cream around? 

     I still think that obedience training and structure is the most important things for peaceful co-existence with a dog and baby. 

    It also helps to  expose your dog(s) to real live human babies, if possible, to see how the dog(s) respond.



    "Are you a dog trainer?"
    "No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night."
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  • 10-15-2007 12:42 PM In reply to Dog_ma

    Re: bring home a new baby

    Dog_ma:
    You're not supposed to use baby powder on babies anymore.  (It is a health hazard.) 
     

    Really? Oh, it's a good thing I'm not a mom! LOL

    Dog_ma:
    I still think that obedience training and structure is the most important things for peaceful co-existence with a dog and baby.
     

    Totally agree! Yes 

     

    LSTM (Laughing Silently to Myself)

    Click Daily to Give Free Food and Care to Animals:
    http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3
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  • 10-15-2007 4:07 PM In reply to Dog_ma

    Re: bring home a new baby

    Dog_ma:

    I have never understood the whole carry-around-a-doll thing. Dogs aren't stupid, and a doll smells and sounds nothing like an actual baby. I think for a person a baby doll seems like a reasonable substitution because we are sight oriented, but for a dog?  I am never going to buy that plastic and non-moving has anything to do with flesh and squirmy.  

    Actually this is one thing we did not do.  I think it is sometimes helpful for some people to get the dog used to the idea of your attention being focused on something else.  In all honesty, some folks do this naturally in the course of their busy lives... others dont and the first experience a dog gets of not being the centre of attention is when the baby is here already.  I dont think thats a very good thing.  For us, we "withdrew a portion of the dogs attention" AS SOON as we knew a baby was on the way.  The dogs had months to adjust to this change - and so did we.

    "Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." (Pratchett, Jingo)

    "I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'" - Fred Jungclaus
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  • 10-15-2007 4:11 PM In reply to Dog_ma

    Re: bring home a new baby

    Dog_ma:
    But but but! LOL.  You're not supposed to use baby powder on babies anymore.  (It is a health hazard.) 

    I know. We use it anyway, on the basis that everything is a health hazard these days.  If anything bad happens to my baby I will let you know.

    "Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." (Pratchett, Jingo)

    "I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'" - Fred Jungclaus
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  • 10-15-2007 4:53 PM In reply to vega1star

    • schleide
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    Re: bring home a new baby

    Congratulations!  We are expecting our first child as well (although we have about 6 months before baby comes home) and I have spoken to our trainer about the specifics of what we should be doing to prepare, and I will tell you what he told me.  First, let me just give a bit aof background, our dog Wesley is 3 and is super excitable.  He is also pushy, not submissive, and he has some reactivity issues with strangers (he does NOT like to be approached by strangers, he will growl and snap at them - although if ignored, he will ignore them) - so to the extent that you feel that any of the above is not useful for you, please ignore...

     1 - Boundaries - we are doing it now, and you have less time, so the sooner the better, start creating "no dog zones" - maybe the nursery or wherever.  The one I didn't think of that my trainer reminded me of is the couch/the bed.  Our rule has always been that Wesley has furniture priviledges so long as he is not pushy with us and so long as he gets "off" whenever he is told.  If you plan to leave your baby on the bed (obviously when it is too young to roll off) or hang ot on the couch with the baby and your excitable dog jumps up on either uninvited, you will want to make sure to stop that now...  Baby gate the rooms and make sure the dog(s) know that there is no bed or couch unless expressly invited, and do it now, so the dogs don't feel that new limitations and restrictions are because of the baby...  I think that this goes along with carrying something around - even though the dogs are not going to confuse a doll with a baby - the message is, when I am holding something and paying attention to it, it is your job to do something else and not be in my face jumping on me etc...

     2 - Sounds - if your dogs are unaccustomed to the cries etc. of babies, they have cd's of baby noises that you can play at increasing volumes.  The idea is to make positive associations for the dogs -- when you hear this noise, you go lay down in your bed, and you get a nice treat...  Like teaching anything else, at first reward every time, and then only intermittently...

     3 - Figure out a plan for keeping the dogs well exercised once baby arrives; any problems with excitement etc. that already exist will just be exascerbated if the dogs are suddenly getting less exercise...

    4 - All things baby should mean good things for the dogs - keep it all positive - so, when the dogs lay down outside the nursery or by the rocker without being too excited, make sure you let the dogs know that they are doing the right thing and that you are happy with them (it is so easy to forget to let them know when they are doing the right thing and only get on their case for doing the wrong thing)...

    5 - Teach a good "leave it" and "drop it" now - if the dog is getting too interested in the baby or something of the baby's, you want to be able to redirect and if the dog takes something that is the baby's you want to be able to get it back...

    For us, we have been very proactive in making sure Wesley gets to be around children, all supervised of course, so that we can build these positive associations early and so that we can show him the proper behaviors now...  The good news (at least in my oppinion) is that you have a couple months where you really have to worry only about the dogs' behavior because the baby is too young to be moving around on his/her own...  If you work hard now, by the time baby is mobile, the dogs will be pros!

    Again - congratulations, and good luck!!

     

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  • 10-15-2007 4:56 PM In reply to vega1star

    Re: bring home a new baby

    Hi Carla and a huge Congrats !!

    We have a huge pack at our home and from the snap (avatar?) ours are a bit bigger than your fur kids.  In the past 8 years my daughters have gifted us with 5 grand children  who live with us ( 5 more who don't)  anywho... we have a fail proof way to deal with the new baby issue.

    1. We include the dogs in everything BEFORE the baby arrives. They go in the nursery, they smell the bedding and the gifts after parties... all of which are accompanied by tidbits from the showers !!

    2. We talk endlessly to the dogs,,, do you like this paint, will this be soft for the new puppy ? Does this rattle sound great ?  Isn't this a great room ?  Does this music feel calming to you??

    3.  I have my daughters lay with the hounds...hubbies too (when there was one  Tongue Tied  ) They talk about the baby while petting the dog(s) Asking the dog "will you help take care of our baby?"  They assure the hound "this is going to be Your baby too "

    4. As the date gets closer and expectant mom gets crankier.. I INSIST  they cuddle , hug and invade the dog's space... (why you ask?? they baby will too so let's start now when there isn't an infant and when they can control and reward the dog).

    5.  If , and this will sound a little , I don't know wierd, your milk begins to come in ...do not push the dog away when they scent it. They are going to be curious, and let's face it they have a way better sense of smell  than we do. Just allow them to figure it out. Don't let them be a nuisance, set boundries... if this seems icky think of it this way baby has an almost unlimited supply of "treats" he/she only has to cry....  You are simply letting pup realize it's not a prime rib !! They can learn by a few gentle sniffs and know it's not for them and that's okay.... later this will translate to bottles and other baby treats.

    6. when you get really close again remember your dog was gifted the sense of smell.  Try hard  to avoid shutting them out .

    7. While in the hospital,  have hubby bring home baby items.... used blankets,  even used diapers to start the familarization with baby. Don't freak out if there are some nibbles or strong nose bumps, they are excited not mean or aggressive. Take this as an opportunity to teach them EASY,  GENTLY..

    8. Have family talk to the dogs about the baby !! They like knowing the WHOLE pack is involved.

    9. When the baby and you come home have dad run LOVING interferance, don't allow the pups to jump and bounce off of you. Sniffing is normal but only what you extend for them. Praise should be calm and consistant with the baby's name involved... " I know I smell funny I went to get "?"

     

    As I mentioned I have a LOT of babies in our home, my hounds have acted as superior heart monitors to the premie and as contented guardians to the rest, all of the , hounds and grands adore each other and contact is a daily thing .

    best of luck and let us all know what the baby is and how things turn out !!

    Bonita of Bwana

    Bonita of Bwana
    AKC Rhodesian Ridgebacks
    Champions, Therapy Dogs and Awesome Companions
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  • 10-15-2007 8:46 PM In reply to vega1star

    Re: bring home a new baby

    I went to your profile, sorry, I wasn't sure which one was Toby.  I was told, when I had my kids, that you should let the dog smell the baby and basically introduce the baby to the dogs.  Otherwise, the dog will always be curious and if you yell at the dog for getting too close to the baby, etc. then the dog may develop a problem with the baby.  So, I guess, when you have you're baby, since (I too have the problem w/ jumping) you'll just have to be very careful with Toby (you may want put his leash on and your hubby can hold it so if he looks like he's going to jump, he can pull him back...) Sorry, not real sure.  Or, maybe you can start off w/ a baby doll (I know dogs will be able to probably tell the difference), but if you wrap it up in a blanket, like your holding a real baby, you can get an idea what the dogs reaction would be like.  This way there's no harm to a real baby.  That's why, I too, want to get Misty out of her jumping too.  I'm afraid she's going to jump on a little kid, and hurt them or scare them.  Heck, just typing this, I had a problem w/ Misty jumping on my daughter who is laying on the couch and Misty hit her in the mouth w/ her arm.  My daughter had her teeth knocked out in May by her sister (accident) w/ a metal bat, so we're all extrememly sensitve about that area.  I don't want to make a trip to the hospital again!!!  Good Luck, I hope all works out, but maybe you can try and work on Toby (nonstop) and by the time you have your "bundle of joy" he'll be more settled. 

    Handle every situation like a dog.

    If you can't Eat it or Chew it.

    Pee on it and Walk Away
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  • 10-15-2007 9:35 PM In reply to Janet808

    • vega1star
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    Re: bring home a new baby

    Thank you everyone for all the help.  Luckily the dogs have pretty strict boundries already, they are not allowed in the front of the house if we are not home, never on the couch (leather) and not on the bed unless invited.  It won't be a problem keeping them from the nursery if necessary, but I kind of envisioned them sleeping beside the crib almost protecting him.  Does anyone think this is dangerous?  

    They also have been around all the baby clothes we have so far and the toys.  I will have DH bring home some real baby scented stuff once he arrives Smile.  And yes, I think the leash idea is an excellent one.  Toby (the smaller black one in the picture) has trailed a leash in the past, so this will be nothing new.  

     We will definitely take all this advice into account in the coming weeks and month!!!  Thanks again!!!

     

    -Carla (and baby Jack)
     

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  • 10-16-2007 8:41 AM In reply to Janet808

    Re: bring home a new baby

    Janet808:
    Or, maybe you can start off w/ a baby doll (I know dogs will be able to probably tell the difference), but if you wrap it up in a blanket, like your holding a real baby, you can get an idea what the dogs reaction would be like.  This way there's no harm to a real baby. 

    You can condition the dog to lay down or sit when he sees you holding a "bundle".  Quite straightforward with a clicker.  When they get it right with the "real" baby, jackpot.  As well as encouraging good behaviour it will help build a positive association with the baby.  "This new thing gives me lots of chances to play that game where I see if I can get Mum to give me treats".  Just a suggestion.  We didnt do this.   We found ejecting for rowdy bhvr much simpler and easier to stick with.

    One thing I would do is not bring the baby IN crying.  Cuddle her or feed her just bfore she meets the dogs that firs time so she is less likely to cry and squirm.  It will be easier for the dogs to acccept her calmly then.

    "Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." (Pratchett, Jingo)

    "I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'" - Fred Jungclaus
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