OK, let's try this again LOL.
Christina, I recognise every single one of these issues. Ben has done them all at one time or another, and he went through a phase when he was the same age that Jack is now when he did them all at once. Mostly what helped us was a really strict NILIF regime, which gave us a kind of "umbrella" training tool. We used aspects of NILIF on each individual problem, and as a whole Ben relearned to respect my leadership, which he had been rebelling against. We also use a clicker, but it's not necessary if you don't use one.
sillysally: -consistent downs--he will down when asked most of the time, but sometimes would just rather not
This was, I think, partially an issue of Ben respecting my leadership and that my word is law, and partly the fact that he gets easily distracted. I used a leash and in some cases, tethering him to enforce the down when I had to, and I *never* gave a down command unless I could make sure he would do it. "Down" became the most-used behavior when making Ben work for anything - his dinner, to have the door opened, or to have his ball thrown each and every time he wanted it thrown.
sillysally: -staying in a position until released--he is terrible at this--he will sit or down but will only stay until released if he knows it will get him something he wants, like the door being opened. If you try to do this with food however, he gets excited and gets up, and the more you make him wait for it the more his excitement builds.
Again, use a leash or tether to reinforce if you have to, and use the fact that he will stay for something he wants to your advantage. Make him stay until released for his dinner and the second he moves a muscle to get up, move the bowl out of his sight and give the command again. Work on low-value doors as well - not the door to go outside, but one between rooms, which might not get him so excited. Go back to the beginning when training a stay command and work in very small increments...stay for 5 seconds, then for 10. If food gets him too excited when doing this, use a toy or praise instead. When he is performing longer stays, you can reward with more high-value items like food if he can't see them, meaning he doesn't know that it's coming and is staying for the sake of obeying the command. Put him into a stay and go out of his line of vision, where you have hidden a food reward. Return to him and give the treat if he has performed the stay successfully. If you need to give the command as a reminder while you are out of sight but he can still hear you, do that. I had to with Ben in the beginning too, but not anymore once he learned what was expected of him.
sillysally: -he is into everything all the time. Sally would occasionally get into stuff, but not like this. He will mess with anything below human chest level that is not nailed down. I don't even like to leave a room with him in it for a second.
A good "leave it" command. I can say from experience that they soon get bored of trying if they are just going to be told to leave it, and they stop trying. It has to be rock solid though - let me know if you want details on how I taught Ben this.
sillysally:
-the bed. he wants to be on the bed so bad he can taste it and he *repeatedly* jumps on the bed. He knows what "off" means and will jump off and then right back on *repeatedly*
Ben has no access to the bed but does to the couch, and we had this problem with that. An "off" command is great and necessary, but I found I had to train an "on" command too. If you can, deny Jack access to the bed unless you are using the time for training. Put him on a leash and ask for a sit next to the bed. He might go nutty for a bit, but wait. When he gives the sit, invite him up using whatever command you want to use. (Or, if using a clicker, shape the behavior without the command first.) Then ask him to get off the bed, and repeat several times. Do this in a bunch of training sessions and he will learn that he may ONLY go onto the bed when invited, and when he was worked for it by performing a behavior. Access to the bed is a reward because it's something he wants. Make him earn it.
sillysally: -recall while carrying something. I know this sounds weird, but his recall is quite good as long he is not carrying something in his mouth. If he has his frizbee or something he will ignore me completely until he drops it.
-bringing something to my hand. he will retrieve but he drops it a few feet in front of me. I have not pressed the issue because I want him to swim because of his elbow and will basically do anything to get him in the water, but I have already fallen in a pond trying to get a tennis ball he dropped before bringing it to me.
This was a weird one and it took me a while to figure out how to solve these, and when I did I solved both at once. I am lucky in that Ben has a "pack"...a bunch of us that meet at the park every day, and one dog there has a perfect - and I mean perfect - retrieve. She'll retrieve for me as well as her owner and brings her ball and puts it on or next to the toe of my shoe, which is fine for me since I use a chuck-it anyway. For several days at the park I "borrowed" this dog and made a HUGE deal of playing fetch with her while Ben ignored me with his ball. He soon learned that she and I were having way more fun and she was getting her ball thrown for her, instead of just wandering around with it. He started bringing his ball to me, and I'd ignore him unless he brought it right to me - not 2 feet away but right to me. If Jack is like Ben (and it sounds like he is) he'll get pushy to get what he wants - use it to your advantage. LET him push you by bringing his ball closer and closer to you to get your attention.
sillysally: -approaching people. He has an insane need to greet everyone he sees. I realize this is a lab thing, but I am not sure how to train this out of him without him thinking people are a negative thing. It's really bad when he does it off leash.
I use "leave it" here too and Ben now simply ignores people. He knows that if he doesn't get a "leave" command here, he is allowed to greet and is as friendly as ever. People are just objects not to be messed with without my permission.
sillysally: -taking treats. he still has issues with taking treats roughly. We have worked with him on it a lot. If we tell him "easy" before he takes the treat he is good about it, but he always has to be reminded-then I don't know if he realizes what exactly he is being rewarded for. he gotten me hard enough to actually draw blood. He does not touch human skin with teeth any other time and we had less than 5 incidents of him play-biting us as a puppy. It's all related to food.
I could have written that paragraph a couple of months ago. When using treats to train something else I would manage the behavior my giving treats on my palm, as you would a horse, so he couldn't bite me, which bought me time to work on the actual issue. Training to take food nicely is a behavior in and of itself so I started with a toy, which he wouldn't get TOO worked up over, and worked on training "nicely". When he was doing it with the toy reliably I moved on to food, but watched him like a hawk and if I sensed that *snatch!* coming I'd whip the food away and remind him of the command. When THAT was reliable I stopped giving the command but continued to remove the food if he tried to snatch. He quickly learned that command or not, he has to take food from me in a gentle manner.
sillysally: -use of treats in training. He gets over-the-top excited if you use treats while training (so much that he has trouble paying attention), but without treats he gets bored very quickly.
I had this issue with agility and my trainer didn't believe me when I said I thought Ben was TOO food motivated to use treats for training, but she admitted later I'd been right. I used a tug toy and made interaction with me the reward, which Ben loves but doesn't lose his mind over the way he does with food. When he got a better idea of what was expected of him, I was able to reintroduce food with no problems, but I still vary the rewards. Food, toys, praise...and as we use NILIF, he has to work for *everything*.
sillysally: -relaxing. He cannot sleep unless he is in the crate or on the bed with you. Otherwise he paces. He'll lay down, get up, walk around, bother Sally, bother us, walk around, squeak a toy, walk around, lay down, get up and repeat the process. This occurs no matter how much exercise he's had.
Oh boy I can relate to this. It's weird, isn't it? I know it's not lack of exercise, so I think it's a case of labs being a very easily stimulated dog, especially when young. Good hard rubber chew toys and marrow bones help keep Ben in one place, and he is trained to have bones only in his basket or his crate so he'll stay there if he has one, and helps him love being in those places even if he doesn't have one. Honestly though, Ben is growing out of this now so it might just take time.
sillysally: -pulling on the leash. he had really good leash manners before all the crap with his elbow started, and then he was not walked for a while and when he was walked it was only with a GL (he was on crate rest and *really* excited so we used the GL to prevent him from leaping and hurting his freshly operated on elbow). Since then the only way we can get a good walk out of him is with a prong.
I had to use a number of things on this. I walked Ben on a no-pull harness for several months, which lifted his front legs off the ground when he pulled, thus destroying his momentum. I also vary walk routes as much as possible so he doesn't always know where he is going, and say a very sharp "eh eh" when he gets to the end of his leash and is about to pull, and an excited "good boy!" when his leash is loose. I actually prefer having Ben in front of me rather than next to me, so I just want a loose leash rather than a heel. He has learned that a loose leash is much more comfy to walk on, and since he's out in front he may sniff to his heart's content.
sillysally: -me. I created a lot of this by babying him a lot. I don't know if it was the first puppy thing or the elbow thing but I have found myself letting him get away with WAY more than I let Sally get away with, and it hasn't done any of us any favors. Sometimes I think I let him get away with things because I'm so tired of repeating myself and it's just easier to just let him be naughty.
Yep, I know I created some of it too. It helped when I started looking upon NILIF as the ultimate way to spoil Ben. Because it fits so well into daily life I am training him almost all the time that he is with me, unless he's sleeping, in little and subtle ways. It gives me the biggest opportunity to give him treats, praise and playtime, so NILIF is really a way to spoil him.
sillysally: DH thinks that Jack is dumb, but I think that his brain is fine, it's mine that has the issues. I just seem to have trouble getting through to him--connecting with him during training. With Sally it was always fun but with Jack it is a chore, so I do it less which makes things worse. He seems to enjoy being around us. He follows us around much more than Sally does. We are just totally not on the same page as far as the behavior/training thing goes.
Sorry thins is so long, but believe me, EVERYONE in the house appreciates any advice you can give......
DH doesn't think Ben is dumb, but we do have different commitment levels and training styles, so it can be very hard. I can *promise* you though that even a couple of weeks on a strict NILIF program will work wonders. I have always used NILIF elements but when Ben started going through all of this I had to ramp it up several notches and I was astonished at the difference it made.
Whew! I hope even a little bit of that helps, and feel free to PM me, even just for an understanding ear.