boredpuppy08:I don't want or need another dog right now or ever, I'm going to go to college and focus on me for a while. I put my life on hold for my elderly pet rat and my elderly dog, both are gone now, and it's sad but I'm looking foward towards and adult life where some day I might be able to move out of my parents and have another dog, but that's going to be years from now..
Honestly that is REAL wisdom -- realizing that this pup is helping "tonight" but that you need to change your focus ... that's a good thing. Because when *you* take on another pet, it's different when you are earning your own money (and paying your own rent, electric, school bills, yada yada yada) AND ... *huge sigh* vet bills, food, and everything else. You are *right* -- it takes a good long while to be able to be in a position to have your act together enough.
I got my first dog "of my own" when I was 19 -- I had just graduated with my Associates, and yeah, I had my own place. But for many years I had apartments that weren't as nice, and not a lot of spending money because I lived where Pris could live WITH me, where WE could be together, and yet, she was my reason for coming home at night (so I didn't get into the kind of trouble I might have ... had she not been 'waiting' for me at the end of every day).
Don't say never ... and don't map out ALL your tomorrows yet. But you are dealing well with this. Your observation that it was the easiest, yet the hardest ... again was a good one. You know it was right and it actually can release an animal from a lot of torment to let them cross the Bridge.
tonight just concentrate on breathing ... it's all you *can* do right now. *hugs*