rw-Eli updates

• 10-27-2009 10:01 AM

  rwbeagles Joined on 09-10-2007 DFW, TX Posts 18,379 Points 2,300

  rw-Eli updates Reply Contact I've been better about updating on FB but I know not all are on there or keep up with that, and some of this might be repeat....I forget what I'd posted here and hadn't, SO... Elias did go in for his screening last Thursday and we now have the 2 weeks wait to get her summation on her findings. They will be mailed then we go in to chat about the results. She has a good poker face but the testing itself didn't take as long as we were told and he was very responsive and happy going in and coming out so not sure what to make of that lol. The school meanwhile continues to observe him in class and have the same concerns...fidgeting, non sociability with classmate (not disruptive just sorta not interested) and the fine motor skill thing. They are bringing in the Psych. for the school, and an Occ.Therap., to assist the Diag. in observing and then they'll review the findings we get from the doc and go from there on further testing. They claim they've instituted some interventions that have had limited success in the classroom but who knows how much She Who Must Be Obeyed really is trying at this point. I have my doubts. Elias pretends to be her when he plays school with his sister and he says some stuff that makes me wonder lol. I am in wait and see mode til I am armed with the doc's findinings. On the home front...I have good days and bad days...days where I am super in love with my son, and want to protect him from the world calling him different, and days when I am at my wits end with frustration with him and want to run and hide from the whole thing. Lily attended a Halloween party Saturday, and he was not invted which made him mad. I used that to tell him if he had his own friends he could maybe get invited to things, and talked with him about how one makes friends. He was more responsive to that than he's ever been...and just last night asked if he could get his phone number and give it to his friend xyz (real kid in class) which was promising. Not coincidentally Lily got a couple phonecalls from a friend last night too, lol. So he is modelling after her which is good in this instance I think. He wants to have his own party and I told him if he can make some friends and show that he is trying to be more friendly with classmates he could have one for the Holidays. He is excited about that but remains to be seen if he actually speaks to anyone outside of "come to my party" LOL. Just this week he's found a groove with writing, keeping letters the same size and on the line, which is HUGE for him. We bought him some handwriting books and he works willingly and happily in them every night. He's reading like a demon...I bought him some "fatter" crayons to help his dexterity and those seem to have helped a ton as well. So that's about where we are now...hanging in there, waiting for D Day...my gut tells me they'll find something suitably non specific to confuse us still further lol. But good news is my husbands Dad is a PHd and has offered his take on their findings and things we can do since his area of expertise is children and autism/learning differences. Neither of us knew he was that heavy into it...we thought him more a general Kids Psych. but hey...can't hurt to have his learned eye on the situation! Interestingly he's never noticed any issues with Elias on that front...but he admitted sometimes when you are close it's hard to be objective. Thanks for reading!! "I'm not looking for absolution, forgiveness for the things I do.."-Walking In My Shoes, Depeche Mode My blog: ryngwrayth.blogspot.com/

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• 10-27-2009 10:10 AM

  In reply to rwbeagles

  griffinej5 Joined on 09-10-2007 Pa Posts 2,771 Points 60	Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to ask the school, in a non-accusatory manner, what they are doing to help him, so that you are able to follow up on that and do the same things at home where it's possible. Emperor of the Markie Fan Club
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• 10-27-2009 10:17 AM

  In reply to griffinej5

  rwbeagles Joined on 09-10-2007 DFW, TX Posts 18,379 Points 2,300

  Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact Oh they told me....one thing was, breaking them into groups of two to encourage Elias to interact with a partner. That has been limited in success...but the Pysch...pointed out to the teacher on the conferece call we were on that Teach actually should give Eli a cue like "here is a puzzle have xyz help you with it...' or "here is a book, read it with xyz" I guess she hadn't been actually doing that. duh sez I. They have been having him look at the teacher when he speaks to her or she speaks to him...but they say it's not "sticking" and he needs to be reminded of that a lot...well duh, he's 6. I have to remind him of a lot of things still. They have been reminding him not to fidget...which he does when he is unsure about what he is supposed to be doing...again, reminders needed more often than they'd want/like. They've been trying to up his ability to concentrate and get work done in a timely manner. Right now he works in short bursts... This is hard for me because they tell me "he can't count past 12" when here at home he in into the 20's both saying, identifying, and writing...so...I think he might know they are focusing on him a lot and not like it. But situationally, at home...we just don't have the problems like attention and fidgeting. But again...less distractions here, more time, but we're talking minutes he takes to complete a paper she sends home because "he could not complete it in a timely manner" at school. Who knows? "I'm not looking for absolution, forgiveness for the things I do.."-Walking In My Shoes, Depeche Mode My blog: ryngwrayth.blogspot.com/

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• 10-27-2009 10:42 AM

  In reply to rwbeagles

  rwbeagles Joined on 09-10-2007 DFW, TX Posts 18,379 Points 2,300

  Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact Just watched a video on why Elias has trouble cutting even with "universal" scissors. Man, I feel like a tool...lol. I ordered him some real Lefty scissors too. Poor kid. I need to be more aware of stuff like that. The site I was at even had Lefty notebooks and stuff...interesting... "I'm not looking for absolution, forgiveness for the things I do.."-Walking In My Shoes, Depeche Mode My blog: ryngwrayth.blogspot.com/

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• 10-27-2009 10:50 AM

  In reply to rwbeagles

  Liesje Joined on 03-02-2007 Posts 9,901 Points 655	Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact  My brother had trouble with that too so we always had a bunch of lefty scissors. http://vankelderdogs.dutchbingo.net http://www.schhmi.com
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• 10-27-2009 11:09 AM

  In reply to Liesje

  griffinej5 Joined on 09-10-2007 Pa Posts 2,771 Points 60

  Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact Wow... what positive interventions are they using? I assume you phrased them the way you do because that is how they were phrased to you. Maybe I'm wrong. However, just because he may know what he shouldn't do, does not mean he can figure out on his own what he should do. So, yeah, ok, don't do A, but what am I supposed to do? It's probably a good idea to tell him directly, and/or point out what it looks like when other people are doing it. If you don't tell him, and leave it up to him, he may come up with something else to do, but it may or may not be something else that you want him to do. Emperor of the Markie Fan Club

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• 10-27-2009 1:28 PM

  In reply to rwbeagles

  calliecritturs Joined on 09-10-2007 Central Florida Posts 10,857 Points 3,330

  Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact rwbeagles: This is hard for me because they tell me "he can't count past 12" when here at home he in into the 20's both saying, identifying, and writing...so...I think he might know they are focusing on him a lot and not like it. But situationally, at home...we just don't have the problems like attention and fidgeting. But again...less distractions here, more time, but we're talking minutes he takes to complete a paper she sends home because "he could not complete it in a timely manner" at school. *sigh*  I hear your pain and share it -- it's like they are SO hard-wired at this point that everything has to be 'labelled' and counted.  He probably FEELS like he's under a microscope (which would make ME fidget).  There are just some kids who don't work well under that sort of pressure.  Dang, Gina ... I'm sorry this has all turned into  such a kerfuffle for him (and you).  But I appreciate your update - I've been wondering how he was doing.  Confidence is tough to build -- and those subtle cues being passed on are bigger than 'huge' to a kid.   If he feels like he just doesn't "measure up" to "She Who Must Be Obeyed" then he's going to spend an inordinant amount of time trying to figure out which angle to take to accomplish what she wants before he starts it.  Even the most seasoned of us will put something off that we're afraid to fail at -- that's just a basic human condition.  But if she's virtually "timing" everything he does no wonder he waits to do it when he gets home so he doesn't have anyone bugging him.

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• 10-27-2009 5:14 PM

  In reply to calliecritturs

  mrv Joined on 09-10-2007 west central OH Posts 2,924 Points 745

  Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact   WHen your are ready to push the envelop, you should have a written plan of intervention which describes the who (does)  what (activity)  when (on hwhat schedule time of day and days of week)  where (does this all happen).  There should be a baseline performance level (what he was doing prior to when his intervention started) so that the successfulness of the intervention can be measured. Social stories and bibliotherapy are great ways to approach the making friends, getting along with others etc.  You can do them at home, it is even more powerful if it happens in both locations.   MRV

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• 11-07-2009 9:45 AM

  In reply to mrv

  mrv Joined on 09-10-2007 west central OH Posts 2,924 Points 745

  Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact I had a reference in my notes at work and went and checked.  You do have (almost in your backyard) a well founded and successful program for teaching social skills at hand. Here is the link.  I had the opportunity to meet one of the authors about 10 years ago when the program was just starting to get attention on a nation wide scale.  I was very impressed with her and even more so after I checked out the book. Here is the link.  http://www.rdiconnect.com/pages/About-Us.aspx  Of course check out the local, national and international Aspergers sites.  You will find no end of ideas, support and material.  One thing that has been very powerful for kids is when parents education themselves.  Then they work to education others, particularly children.  Parents who go into classrooms and explain things to children have been an incredible resource when I have met them in my career.  They become more powerful stakeholders and that leads to benefits for everybody. This book has been particularly helpful.  Although written for aides who often support kids with disabilities, these chapters and the take home messages are great for parents, teachers and others.  I met this author and had the opportunity to spend a day in training with her on implementing the strategies in this book.  I have been using it successfully for years. http://www.amazon.com/How-Para-Pro-Comprehensive-Paraprofessionals/dp/0966652916 Be prepared on occassion to be the mother bear (got no real concerns) but make sure you do it with a silk glove.  Most folks will rise to the occassion and bend over backward to help a kid.  Sometimes they need just a nudge (maybe an all out push) I realize some will read these last few sentences and respond that public schools are terrible places for kids who are different.  I am truly sorry your personal experience was not a good one.  However,  I stand by my statement:  Most folks will bend over backwards to help a kid.  Gina you may need to find an insider to plead your case on occassion.  Support personnel are often really good at that.  A guidance counselor, school nurse, occupational therapist or school psychologist are options.  A secondary option for a support are parent mentor programs (part of the "flow through" money that is returned to school districts to support kids with disability conditions).  One other option would be the regional teams again supported through federal programs that staff specialists to support parents and school districts in providing services. If I can offer any support or links, just let me know.

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• 11-07-2009 2:32 PM

  In reply to mrv

  fuzzy_dogs_mom Joined on 09-10-2007 Davis, CA Posts 8,310 Points 325

  Re: rw-Eli updates Reply Contact I think it's so great that teachers are able to recognize problems at the outset now.  When I was in school kids with mild autism, ADHD etc. were all labeled behavior problems and either sent to the prinipal or their parents were called to come and get them.  Kids with dyslexia or any kind of learning disability were penalized for not putting in enough time or effort.  School must have been absolute hell for those kids. Joyce

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