Forum Post

Rude people...

Last post 09-05-2009 9:00 AM by ron2. 20 replies.
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  • 09-03-2009 1:11 PM In reply to JackieG

    • .stacer.
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 06-03-2007
    • Ontario, Canada
    • Posts 475
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    Re: Rude people...

    HAHAHAHA this is my favourite thing to do to people...rude people, stupid people, etc. It's fantastic watching their reactions.
    Stacey.
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  • 09-03-2009 1:12 PM In reply to Cita

    • marlania
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on 09-10-2007
    • South Louisiana
    • Posts 2,302
    • Points 85

    Re: Rude people...

    I would have taken that opportunity to ask him something fake but embarrassing like, "Is it true that daily coffee drinking makes you impotent? Have you experienced that?"Stick out tongue

    Can I have my 4000-something posts back? Pretty please?
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  • 09-03-2009 1:31 PM In reply to marlania

    • 4HAND
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-28-2008
    • Posts 596
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    Re: Rude people...

    marlania:
    I would have taken that opportunity to ask him something fake but embarrassing like, "Is it true that daily coffee drinking makes you impotent? Have you experienced that?"Stick out tongue

     

    Mkay...That's just priceless! I may have to try that one.

    Tena

    • Post Points: 0
  • 09-03-2009 1:32 PM In reply to Cita

    Re: Rude people...

    Cita:
    but it might be better to involve HR instead of your boss. Whereas your boss might not want to deal with it, or know what to do, HR has resolution of such issues (appropriate workplace behavior) as one of their main responsibilities.

    Typically it puts the boss in a difficult situation because then THEY have to go to HR and it's "second hand".  It just plain gets TOO personal to go to the boss.

    Because I've dealt with this (both on a personal level and in lawsuits) unfortuately, altho being smart with witty rejoinders may be satisfying (Oh I LOVE the one about coffee-drinking causing impotence -- that one is classic) -- in order to set this up to take TO  the HR so it can be dealt with appropriately and with **least backlash to you** that's why I said to be so brief, and almost calculating in your non-adversarial response.

    It's NONE of their business -- no they DON'T think (and if they do they have their sense in their toenails) but the HUGE problem is that in a situation like this it can SO quickly turn on a dime and come back and hit the VICTIM square in the pocket-book.  Suddenly you can be that ingrate-ful pariah and just for "causing trouble" (i.e., protecting yourself and trying to tell someone you've been abused verbally) it can all implode and well, as my own personal favorite saying goes "I'd slap you ... but sh*t splatters!!" and YOU get all messy. 

    Typically if someone is THIS insensitive they are a harassment suit **waiting** to happen.  Because it's not just you they are saying inappropriate things.  So by reporting it completely "vanilla" (and not giving them 'verbatim' unless asked for it) the powers that be can then make the connection that this person doesn't know when to stop talking and move on.  But reporting such a mess without involving gossip and tongues a wagging is a big huge deal if ***YOU*** ever want to be promoted in this company.

    In other words -- you report it not so much because "poor poor pitiful me" has been embarassed ... but rather "Hmm, what this guy said to me was inappropriate, and I figured HR needed to know before he offends someone in a litigable fashion".  That way rather than a whistle blower, you become the lady who is loyal and looking out for the company.

    Make sense?

     

     


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  • 09-03-2009 2:24 PM In reply to calliecritturs

    Re: Rude people...

    calliecritturs:

    In other words -- you report it not so much because "poor poor pitiful me" has been embarassed ... but rather "Hmm, what this guy said to me was inappropriate, and I figured HR needed to know before he offends someone in a litigable fashion".  That way rather than a whistle blower, you become the lady who is loyal and looking out for the company.

    Make sense?

    Personally, I'd have that very brief conversation (or email if you're too afraid to say it to his face), where it's very matter-of-fact & impersonal.  If he responds with anything other than an apology, and you think he could do this again to you or someone else, then you could go to HR in the approach that Callie uses above.  You really have to be honest about your motivation for reporting him.  In situations like this, we lose a sense of personal power when we feel degraded by someone else.  Leveraging HR's power against him might make you feel better because they *have* to confront him directly when you may not want to, but I suspect you may regain your sense of power better with your own one-on-one conversation.  However, if you feel he could be a liability to the company, then you're right to report him to HR.  Good luck!


    Paige - dog.community moderator & Gracie - 6yr old Doberman
    www.fortunatek9.com
    Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth. ~W. Hamilton
    "So you've 'had dogs all your life'? I've had teeth all my life. Doesn't make me a dentist." - JV McDonough, Certified Dog Trainer
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  • 09-05-2009 9:00 AM In reply to miranadobe

    • ron2
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 09-10-2007
    • far north central Texas
    • Posts 11,397
    • Points 595

    Re: Rude people...

    Jackie G is right. Say nothing and stare. Though my version is not so much a stern look as it is the 1,000 yd stare one gets from a sniper. I don't know if that scares them worse. It's the fact that you don't react that scares them.

    The guy was rude and needs an "education."

    The way you treat your dog in this life determines your place in heaven. - chukchi proverb


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