I had to put my 3 yr old border collie (Rosie) to sleep Feb 23 and I am devastated. She was playing, eating, running, barking, and then 2 days later she didn't look too good and did not eat her dinner. Next day (Monday Feb 16) she looked worse so I took her to vet who diagnosed anemia (jaundice in eyes & ears, whitish gums) and put her on prednisone. Got 2nd opinion next day and same diagnosis, same treatment. Then 4 days later she started perking up, PCV level went up to 20 (from 14) and was on right track, started eating next day, and then that evening she seemed fussy. Next day (Sunday) she would not eat, seemed good at times but then worn out, went outside to piddle, came in and looked like she was going to pass out. Then she settled down and her breathing seemed more normal. All of a sudden her breathing became labored, was going to rush her to hospital but then again the breathing settled down and she was ok. About an hour later same thing happened and then I rushed her to hospital, they put her on oxygen and gave IV fluids. She perked up. Even though her PCV level was 24 they advised giving her a transfusion just to help her along. Everything was getting better rest of day and overnight. They also gave her a baby aspirin around noon to ward off any blood clots. Then I visited her around 3pm (Monday Feb 23) and gave her some chicken from home which she ate. She was looking good, alert, walking straight, and getting opinionated with the vet techs. Only thing they were concerned about was her breathing when she was laying down. It was fine when she was up and walking but as soon as she laid down the breathing was labored. Her pulse-ox was fine though. Three hours later they called me and said she was going downhill, her breathing was very labored, was put into oxygen cage again and gave me all the options for treating her, keeping her going yet no guarantee of her surviving. I agreed to let her go. They gave her some morphine to calm her down. Since I was at work, I went up there at midnight to see her and to decide whether to keep treating her, trying anything in the world to make her better, taking her home, etc. Once I saw her in the oxygen cage I realized how distressed she really was. She was panting so hard and looked miserable. I went over all the options again with the vet and I know they were all tired of my stupid questions over and over again but I couldn't face this, couldn't deal with it, and blaming myself for all of this happening to my beloved girl. I was in contact with my own vet and she also advised letting her go, said even with more extensive tests and misery for her, she would probably not survive another day, couple of days, or even 3 months at the most. She said it wouldn't be fair to her to put her thru all of that when she could never be a normal dog again and be in total misery. So I decided to put her to sleep, never did that before in my life and was devastated. I really feel that I let her go, all my fault for this happening to her, because I did not act one day when I saw her pale tongue hanging out after she had been running at full tilt for awhile, barking her head off, and gasping when she came running in for water. She was fine after she settled down and still continued to run, bark, and be her old self. When I come home from work tired and cranky I get annoyed when she is jumping against me but all she wanted was attention and I would not give it but then later on would give it. I feel that she was taken away from me because I did not give her the attention she craved. I loved her with all my heart, have never hurt an animal, have always treated them like they were my babies no matter how old they were. I wanted her to be with me for another 15 years. She was like sunshine, so happy, so cheerful all the time and she was exactly like my first border collie who passed away Feb 23, 2005. I adored her and always wanted another dog like her so when Rosie came into my life, she turned out just like her, slept in the same places that Christie slept outside under the bushes (whenever she was out) and was a runner and a barker, happy go lucky. I hate the month of February every year and now Rosie died same time. Has anyone ever experienced the same feeling of guilt, negligence, stupidity, loss of control over what was happening, not recognizing signs, and devastation over the passing of someone so beloved. She was the breath of sunshine in my life and I am beside myself with grief and anger at myself. I also have a 9 yr old border collie but she never had the sunshine personality of Rosie. Also have a 2 yr old cat who is also grieving because his best friend and playmate was Rosie.