placing my foster????

• 12-27-2008 10:46 AM

  poodlemom Joined on 08-01-2006 Posts 93 Points 5

  placing my foster???? Reply Contact i have fostered several dogs, but have always been a failed foster!  now there is someone really interested in my present foster and i am starting to have a breakdown thinking i have to give her up.  i know it is a wonderful home with people who will love her, but i am still so sad.  does it ever get easier????  my husband thinks we should keep her, but he tends to forget we already have four others!  if we do keep her, then we could no longer foster.   i need some words of encouragement or just some good advice.

  Post Points: 0

• 12-27-2008 2:40 PM

  In reply to poodlemom

  stardog85 Joined on 09-10-2007 South Carolina, USA Posts 2,349 Points 235

  Re: placing my foster???? Reply Contact Sit down with DH and really *look* at what adding another dog will do to your time and finances.  Then look at how the foster gets along with your current animals - is anyone unhappy with the foster?   Once you've looked at the above you can make an educated decision about this dog; don't do a thing until *after* you've looked at it logically or you could really end up screwing yourself up in the end. Perhaps even if you don't keep this foster you may want to stop fostering until you're ready to add another dog.  It takes a certain type of person to foster like you should (allowing the animals to be placed vs. agonizing over every one and whether you should keep it) and it's not fair to the org you foster for, yourselves, your animals, or the fosters to constantly be thinking you might keep each dog. I have a foster currently that I thought about keeping briefly but she just doesn't fit in our family (personality clashes with my oldest) and now is not the time to add another permanently.  I've found her a home that I think will be perfect and assuming the meet-n-greet with their dogs goes well she'll be going home in a week or so.  I'm really looking forward to being back down to two dogs because of the additional work and management that surrounds Teak's presence, plus I really hate seeing Maggie so worked up half the time about having to share with this squirmy foster pup (she likes her space and Teak just doesn't "get" it).  I hand picked the home, they're past students of mine, so I *know* it's a great placement - Teak deserves nothing less - and that makes it sooooo easy to place her with someone else.  Yes, giving the dog to a good home can be hard, but it's not supposed to be gut-wrenchingly difficult - that just adds more stress than anyone needs. Erin, the Amazing Maggie Mae, Ziva the Wonder Dog, and Kestrel the Up and Coming "Always keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go." - Louise Priscoll

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• 12-27-2008 3:28 PM

  In reply to stardog85

  calliecritturs Joined on 09-10-2007 Central Florida Posts 10,874 Points 3,330

  Re: placing my foster???? Reply Contact It's all in your mindset.  Truly.  WHY did you take the dog?  For yourself or for the dog?  to help the DOG right? Ok -- so keep thinking that way.  You've taught the dog all you could?  Now, if this dog goes on to have it's own family will it have more attention?  Willit get more attention?  Will it be able to grow emotionally and fulfill it's true needs as a DOG?  (to give unconditional love, to bond tightly with it's humans, to be a star in it's own right?) If you are fostering JUST because you "like dogs" then you really aren't doing it for the dog.  If you're doing it for the dog then look at where it can go with this placement.  THEN you can get another.  But when you take on a foster **truly** you have to consider that dog a FOSTER with every single breath you draw.  It always ALWAYS has to be the "omega" -- it always has to have a different set of rules than for YOUR dogs.  In my house fosters stay ON the floor 24/7, no bed, no furniture, etc. -- why?  Because some homes may not allow it and I don't want the dog to learn at MY house something that it will get in trouble for elsewhere. In my house MY dogs know a foster ***IS*** temporary -- the different rules enforce that.  So the jolt is less when the foster is placed -- it protects MY DOGS as well as the foster.  If you treat a foster exactly the same way you treat your own then the foster thinks it's a "failure" and you just bounced it ... again. It's a subtle difference, but it helps.  It helps with the transition and it helps both the dogs and you.

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• 12-29-2008 4:15 PM

  In reply to poodlemom

  shadowsgin Joined on 03-06-2007 N.W. Arkansas Posts 2,081 Points 425	Re: placing my foster???? Reply Contact This is exactly why my husband is against the idea of us fostering.  He is afraid I wont let any of them go.  He is probably right.  I have always wanted to be of help and know of a dog right now that needs a foster home it upsets me so cause I cant say yes.  I know how I am and so does he.
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