YIKES! I am sorry I actually created this thread to be honest. I understand strong opinions, but some of this thread has gotten pretty hostile, which makes me sad to see and feel responsible.
I am still committed to NILF. Mind you NILF with Ari is VERY limited. And to be honest our relationship has grown by leaps and bounds since we brought her home - and I do contribute this to NILF.
Ari needs boundaries and direction. I cannot do this with her by letting her just do as she pleases and just trying to capture the good moments in some fashion (I do mind you, I tend to walk around with my clicker these days!), because frankly I have enough tooth mark scars, bruises and scratches and I just looked and realized my latest bite mark may be infected. While this may be all normal puppy behavior, I'm down 2 pairs of work pants, 3 work shirts, PJ bottoms, a night gown, and 2 night shirts compliments of her chompers. Her biting has gotten better since asking her to do more for me. I am so PLEASED when she does what I ask, that she down right wiggles her little bottom to have gotten it "right" and made me happy - and then she gets what she wants on top of that as well.
Byy setting the standard for Ari that I wish her to sit or down to receive attention from me, the biting has become less. I don't expect this all the time, I give attention with her standing, but only if I initiate (which is many many many many times throughout the day!) I am now slowly instituting that when I come home after being away for awhile (though she comes to work with me now more often than not), that I want her to get a toy to "give" (since she is ALWAYS nutty when I get home and frisky to no end, hence how I've lost so much clothing to her chompers!) I'm doing this by coming home WITH a toy to give her putting it in her mouth saying "YOURS!" then asking for GIVE then telling her to "go get it". We usually play fetch for 10-15 minutes then she's a lot calmer!
I ask her to sit for her meals because before she would try to knock over the dish in her excitement. Now she just sits patiently for the OK from me to eat. I "make" her sit for about 3 seconds once the dish is down. She does not need to sit, by my command, for her first pee break in the morning or if she whines to go out and lets us know (and when she lets us know we make a celebration of it!). But other times I do ask her to sit nicely to have the leash put on. We take her out many times during the day and a potty break in the middle of the night - though we're thinking she no longer needs this she just seems to want to sleep through the night now.
Ari is a very PUSHY dog. She wants what she wants when she wants it, and that includes biting at me and my clothing, getting on the couch (she's not allowed and never has been) and now she's trying for the counters and tables since she's grown quite a bit. However, since instituting modified NILF Ari and I have a MUCH improved relationship - she has my heart and I know I have hers. I give her attention a gazzilion times a day, but NOT when she is being obnoxious about it, and it stops the second she starts being obnxious (aka getting playful-bitey with me). I also do clicker training with her, and I NEVER EVER EVER ask her to do something that is beyond her level - so as such all I really expect out of her right now is to sit or do "touch" (she loves to touch any object I ask her to).
I do not see what's cruel about this. I never with-hold food from Ari, I typically do not ask her to sit for breakfast since she has gone more hours without food for that meal than any other. I never with-hold water (it's freely accessible no matter where she is. And believe me I NEVER with hold affection or fun (I have not taken away her toys since it does help with her to discourage any other type of chewing and it's unnecessary and would be confusing for her - setting her up for failure).
I try my hardest to set her up for success each and every time we interact or experience something new - she never fails, b/c if she does fail that just means she wasn't ready for the situation, the command, etc etc and as her human I put her in that losing situation - so I roll up that newspaper give myself a few good whacks and remedy the situation.
Ari is not stressed, unless you count chronic tail wagging (her tail is now longer and um getting quite whip-like!), happy sparkling eyes, a coat that shines, a healthy appetite, bounce to her step, as being stressed. Ari a few weeks ago had me crying, feeling lost/helpless and out of control of the situation. Creating a more structured environment has helped us both and Ari is really shining now. Our bond is better, her out of control biting moments are easier to manage (and happen with less frequency). Ari a few weeks ago WAS stressed to some degree (I can see this now much more clearly, now that she's so darned happy go lucky all the time!)- and it's been these last couple of weeks that I have seen such progress in her and I know NILF AND clicker training is helping with that, for both of us.
We started introducing NILF once she was comfortable in the home (which took no time at all, Ari is the type of dog that seems to adjust to new situations relatively easily). I think Ari will always need some level of NILF - but this does not mean she will ever be deprived. She's quite happily spoiled and has me very well trained, but there are certain boundaries she needs to respect and NILF is helping Ari and I work on communicating what those boundaries are and how I want her to behave.
~Sharon
Proudly owned by Ari a 5 month old flat-coated retriever!
