Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy

• 01-24-2008 12:06 PM

  dfr Joined on 07-10-2007 Massachusetts Posts 39 Points 0

  Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact Last summer I lost a wonderful JRT named Jojo to complications from Lyme. It was very traumatic for me and I swore I would never get another dog. But, I was depressed and our house didn't seem like a home without a dog and my husband and son wanted another dog. So we did our research and decided that when the time was right, we would get a Papillon. I wanted to adopt a rescue dog but DH wouldn't hear of it because the last 2 dogs were from shelters and died very young. He wanted to go to a reputable breeder and get a healthy purebred. So we finally found a great breeder and she agreed to sell us a puppy. We actually brought him home on Dec 22nd.  He is an adorable little guy and I love him a lot but I still think of my lovable Jojo and miss him terribly. There are times when I feel so guilty that I have this new puppy and he isn't with me to love and play with him. Is this normal?

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• 01-24-2008 12:09 PM

  In reply to dfr

  pheryn Joined on 04-16-2006 The Hills Posts 247 Points 100	Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact It is more than normal but just know that Jojo had a great life with you and is in a better place. He would want you to be happy and to show this new puppy what you showed him. You may not be ready now, but just give yourself time and know that Jojo is watching over the both of you. Nikki 's Harley! Dogster
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• 01-24-2008 12:11 PM

  In reply to dfr

  Benedict Joined on 05-30-2006 England Posts 5,230 Points 770

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact I would say yes, it's very normal. Loving your new dog doesn't mean you love JoJo any less - people love more than one other person, we can love more than one other dog too.   I am sure if JoJo could talk to you, he'd say that he was happy that owning him showed you that dog ownership was such a joy that even after he passed, your home wasn't complete without a dog in it.   Kate - Dog.community Administrator Jokers to the right.

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• 01-24-2008 12:37 PM

  In reply to dfr

  gradyupmybutt Joined on 09-10-2007 Pennsylvania Posts 8,468 Points 845	Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact It is soooo normal.  Just give yourself time.  I'm positive that Jojo is watching over you & your new kiddo & smiling his JRT smile.  I'm sure he's so glad that you opened up your home to another lucky dog. As a Papillon lover, I need to see pictures of your new puppers.
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• 01-24-2008 12:53 PM

  In reply to gradyupmybutt

  auburn2932 Joined on 09-13-2007 Camp Hill, PA Posts 304 Points 35

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact I hope it is normal also, I am going through the same thing, we lost our dear little April in December and have gotten a little puppy named Bonnie.  I also have those guilt feeling too, and cry sometimes, then I look at this little dear and try to give her all my love.  I know exactly how you are feeling. bless your heart for giving another dog a good home. Bonnie Blue Belle April - Feb. 2, 2000 - Dec. 11 - 2007 If tears could build a stairway And memories a lane I'd walk right up to Heaven And bring you home again.

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• 01-24-2008 12:57 PM

  In reply to dfr

  JoAnnDe Joined on 01-16-2007 Clearwater, FL Posts 1,211 Points 0

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact dfr: I was depressed and our house didn't seem like a home without a dog Thats EXACTLY how I felt after my sweet beloved perfect Michelle passed away.  I could NOT take it - I didn't want to live myself, so 8 days after her passing I adopted Prancer.      I can't say if what I felt was "guilt" --- but it took me awhile before I was really willing to "connect" emotionally with Prancer.    Its now been over a year, and even tho I speak to Michelle daily I can tell you that I love Prancer abundantly and would do anything for her.    My husband and I joke that Michelle left a book for any future dogs since Prancer knows exactly how to get us to do what she wants by using all of Michelle's "old tricks".    Some days I've CONVINCED that Michelle speaks to Prancer and tells her some pretty funny and pretty wonderful stories ..... in my heart I have two dogs, that I love equally .... one is on earth, the other is in heaven. It took me a few weeks to really start connecting with Prancer.   Going to basic obedience and teaching her commands (which I had never done with Michelle) was actually very helpful in our bonding.    As everyone else has said, I'm sure that JoJo is saying "its' ok Mom, you can love the little puppy - I know you still love ME too". People ask me if I think dogs go to heaven. I respond: Of course they do ! Heaven could only BE heaven if dogs are there Prancer: June(ish) 2006 - 13# poodle mix - rescue Michelle: 1994 - 2007. English Cocker Spaniel - shelter. RIP sweetheart - I'll see you again someday

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• 01-24-2008 12:59 PM

  In reply to auburn2932

  TheDogHouseBCMPD Joined on 11-06-2007 Maryland Posts 1,408 Points 190

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact I think it's normal.  I think it would be abnormal not to think about your past dogs and feel that little twinge in your heart.  It just shows that you loved that dog and you miss them.  Just love the new dog as much as you can and remember the other dog that taught you to love dogs. ~Steph "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein

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• 01-24-2008 1:29 PM

  In reply to gradyupmybutt

  dfr Joined on 07-10-2007 Massachusetts Posts 39 Points 0	Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact Well, that's the little guy in my avatar - the little one with the toys. He is so beautiful. I feel very lucky to have him.
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• 01-24-2008 1:37 PM

  In reply to auburn2932

  dfr Joined on 07-10-2007 Massachusetts Posts 39 Points 0

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact Oh, I'm so sorry that you lost your April not so long ago. Each one of my furry friends has touched my heart in some special way. Jacky, my chi/jrt helped me through some hard times at home, when he died I was inconsolable but about 10 days after he passed a friend sent me a picture of this beautiful jrt that was a 3 time reject at a local shelter. I went and picked him up the next day (I have a soft spot for pathetic charity cases) - he healed my heart and when he passed away in July Ithought to myself, I can't keep going through this, my heart just can't take it anymore. But, DH helped me through it and made me see that we can't shut our hearts down. I know Jojo would love this puppy and would have loved to have a new friend to play with.

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• 01-24-2008 8:02 PM

  In reply to dfr

  westiegirl3 Joined on 11-05-2007 Posts 546 Points 1,365

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact I lost a little dog, Sophie, about a year and a half ago.  I was devastated and continue to miss her terribly.  She will always have a special place in my heart and dI think about her daily.  She helped me through a very difficult time in my life and I often called her my heart.  About two months after her loss, I got another Westie and then shortly after got another that had the same father as my little Sophie.  I had some feelings of guilt and wondered if I did the right thing.  I know that I did now.  I love my two little girls so very much and don't know what I would do without them.  There are things that they do that remind me of my little Sophie.  Treasure, the first Westie I got, looks alot like my Sophie.  I feel as if I honored Sophie by getting my two new girls.  Sophie gave me so much love and joy and so many good times that I desired to get another dog--not to replace her, but to continue with the joy in my life that she gave me. I am sorry about your loss and I truly believe that you will have a wonderful life with your new little pup. Mom to Bell, Gracie, Treasure, Olivia, and Katza--the Cat Sophie--My Heart, My Joy

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• 01-24-2008 8:13 PM

  In reply to dfr

  Janet808 Joined on 09-14-2007 Pgh. PA Posts 1,688 Points 345

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact Well, it's been a long time (and I was young) since I've lost a beloved pet.  I think this is natural.  You loved and lost, it is never easy.  No matter what the circumstance, you will grieve, and grieving is different for everyone.  Don't feel guilty.  I know, it's easier said than done, but it was to no fault of your own, so try and enjoy your new pet, and it's fine to always think and remember your beloved ones.  They always touch our hearts!  Handle every situation like a dog. If you can't Eat it or Chew it. Pee on it and Walk Away

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• 01-24-2008 8:15 PM

  In reply to auburn2932

  westiegirl3 Joined on 11-05-2007 Posts 546 Points 1,365

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact Auburn, I am so sorry for your loss.  I know your dear little April loved you so very much.  I would think that she is so happy that you are giving another little puppy a home and love like you gave her.  She wants you to be happy, because of the good and happy life that you gave her.  Just know that you are honoring April by loving your beautiful little puppy Bonnie.  Also remember the love that you and April had for each other will never go away.  Write about your little April and let her know how much you loved her, write about all your memories, and write about all of the things you loved about April.  Writing is the thing that I think helped me the most. Mom to Bell, Gracie, Treasure, Olivia, and Katza--the Cat Sophie--My Heart, My Joy

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• 01-24-2008 8:48 PM

  In reply to westiegirl3

  bragg1120 Joined on 07-13-2006 good ole West Virginia - Let's Go Mountaineers! Posts 1,468 Points 385

  Re: Feelings of guilt and sadness over new puppy Reply Contact I felt the same way after adopting Trixie soon after FeFe passed. Guilt for laughing at this new little doggie when I was still mourning for Fe. Then it hit me, if we hadn't adopted her, she probably would have stayed in that little kennel, outside until someone adopted her and WHO KNOWS if she would have had a good life? At least with me, I knew I'd give her everything possible. So that's what you should do... concentrate on the positive aspects the new furbaby brings while still cherishing the memories of JoJo. You're totally normal in my book! Missy We're so deeply affected by their absence because our lives were profoundly affected by their presence. ~ Tracy (tacran)

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