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Having some strange dreams

Last post 10-29-2009 9:04 PM by Bullymom. 2 replies.
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  • 10-29-2009 5:25 PM

    • Bullymom
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    • Joined on 03-14-2007
    • North Carolina
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    Having some strange dreams

     I don't know what's wrong with me!  I have been having some strange dreams lately and I don't know why.  If anyone has some answers... Please help!  Okay, my dreams involve a guy that I know very well but it's not Dh.  It's my best friend's older brother.  I was totally in love with this guy many years ago and he was my "first" if that helps anything!  We were "together" when we were both young and we lost touch when I met Dh.  Dh and I were married when I turned 16 (I told you we were young!) and we have been together ever since.  But lately, I have been haveing uumm naughty dreams about my friends brother.  What's wrong with me?  I am married with a family and he is too.  Why am I having these dreams?  Am I going nuts or something?  Usually, I don't pay any attention to dreams but these dreams keep occuring.  They are not exactly the same but they are so similar and they always have intimate contact involved.  I am freakin out here.  I haven't seen this guy in almost 10 years.  Does anyone have any clue what's going on?  Please help me!  Is this normal?



    ~*Kimberly*~
    • Post Points: 0
  • 10-29-2009 8:42 PM In reply to Bullymom

    Re: Having some strange dreams

    Dreams tend to be where our bodies take out the trash.  You've been frustrated recently -- so your brain takes something 'old' (where you were young, facing less responsibility, more 'romantic' and he was "safe" because he was connected via your "best friend") and morphs it into an answer for the frustration you feel now.

    Then you likely dwell on it subconsciously (or consciously) during the day so your mind turns to it again (kinda like a dog who learns a new behavior because it's easy and it "works" so DO IT AGAIN!!!). 

    Guilt produces its own kind of thrill -- and sometimes our minds like to venture in our sleep.  I tend to control that kind of stuff -- I will change habits -- I will deliberately shun dangerous thots (thinking on a thing is where you birth temptation, to be honest) and it can breed even more dissatisfaction than you are already experiencing in your marriage.  (Even if there is only an infinitestimal BIT of dissatisfaction, dwelling on it can cause more "dreams" as escapism -- and suddenly a 'BIT" can become 'more'.)

    For me it would be time to drink some hot chamomile tea before bed (and bring the blood to the stomach rather than to the brain -- as my old general practitioner used to explain), make sure you stay away from sweets in the evening or anything else that might promote the same dreams to visit.  Change some habits -- change what you read, what you listen to, etc. -- just to give your brain something a bit different to think about.  Does that make sense??

    For example -- I love romances ... BUT I will literally throw away a book if it's about a couple who "lie" to each other, or those books that romanticize infidelity.  ugh.  And if I really feel like I'm going thru a difficult bit, I've been known to drop back and go to the library and read 3-4 Grace Livingston Hill books in a row.  JUST to re-route my brain *grin*.  Talk about old timey!!  And yet there is a sweetness in those old books.


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  • 10-29-2009 9:04 PM In reply to calliecritturs

    • Bullymom
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-14-2007
    • North Carolina
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    Re: Having some strange dreams

    calliecritturs:
    more 'romantic' and he was "safe" because he was connected via your "best friend"
     

    That's true!  Not to mention that he was extremely good looking!  I honestly think that if he had not been my friend's brother, we would still be together.  I know that sounds horrible considering the way things are now but that's how I feel.  I still remember the first night that we kissed.  It was so sweet and he wasn't "pushy".  Things just developed on their own.  I had known him for 2 years before that kiss ever occurred.  I didn't expect it and he didn't either.  We were really into each other, to the point that his mom even asked my friend if we were dating.  I think that helped to cause the rift between me and my friend.  But now that my friend and I have been talking and spending time together, I cannot get her brother out of my dreams.  I know I was young but he was my first love.  I've heard it said that you never forget your first but still.  I love Dh with all my heart, I shouldn't be dreaming about a past fling.  I am just so confused about the whole deal.



    ~*Kimberly*~
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