jettababy: The other day we had company over for dinner, and just before we ate I gave Jetta her dinner. One guest said: "Oh you feed your dog first? Thats bad because she'll think she's in control over you!".
I think that is completely bogus! I have always fed Jetta before myself because I don't think its fair to eat in front of a hungry dog--that just encourages begging IMO. Also, I am her caretaker and "momma", so I always want to provide for
her first just like a person would feed a child first. I'm not saying
dogs are children, but thats just the way I see it. I eat right after setting her bowl down, so we end up eating at pretty much the same time--she just gets hers a little bit faster.
I don't think my dog feels dominate over me just because I set her bowl down right before I sit down at the table myself. And its not like she gets a free meal--I always make her sit pretty for a few seconds before letting her eat, so she does do some form of work.
What do you guys think?
I think it's silly! There isn't a fixed mealtime in our house, so it depends. Sometimes they "look hungry" while I am preparing dinner, so I do it then and then they don't beg for food when we are eating. But sometimes, they just chill out while we are cooking and eating, and then I feed them after, with scraps on top.
If they get fed BEFORE dinner, I sometimes save the scraps till the next day. They either have them for breakfast the next day, or if DH doesn't realise they are there, they have them the next day while I am cooking, and then some kibble later on. In which case they get fed before AND after we do! 
I have never heard of a single case where behaviour problems started or persisted because the dog was fed first.
Even Jan Fennell (The Dog Listener, quite big on "pack theory" and thinks eating first sends a powerful message) thinks that "gesture eating" is only necessary for the first couple of weeks, and even then you only need to eat a cracker or a biscuit, not make the dog wait while you eat a whole meal.
It's possible that "eating first" sends a message to the dog, and I used to think that the message could be a powerful one, but now I think it's more likely to be neglible, if it even sinks in at all. Dogs are immediate creatures. Any message of subtlety would surely be lost next to the larger and more immediate one of "I'm HUNGRY - when do we get to EAT?!"
"Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, but set fire to him and he is warm for the rest of his life." - Pratchett, "Jingo"
