Forum "Moderation"

When this thread was started, months ago, I was new at moderating and a bit overzealous.  This comment is one that I took to heart:
 
I have a tremendous amount of respect for Glenda as a person and as a dog owner, but as a forum moderator, I think she needs to lighten up just a bit.  I don't want, nor do I think Glenda wants, this to become Glenda's Dog Forum.
 
I have lightened up considerably.  I often say nothing and just "watch" a thread, or shoot of an email to someone involved asking that they please reword a bit so as not to cause an all out battle.  In most cases this is respected.  In some cases my emails are ignored and/or addressed on the forum.  Much of what I do goes on behind the scenes, but what LITTLE I do on the forum seems to create an opportunity to complain.
 
In the thread that Sooner brought up here, I had sent emails.  My initial post was not "red ink", it was just a gentle "this is what I think this thread is about and perhaps you should start a new thread".  Not only was that ignored, it was hotly disputed.  The first actual warning set off a firestorm.  And, was completely ignored.  The thread has continued completely OT in my opinion and the OP has vanished from the discussion.  When I offered other food suggestions (in the event the OPs dogs didn't like/wouldn't eat/pooped too much) on Blue, I was accused of being OT.
 
I continue to feel that the SD discussion was far further OT than my offering alternative food suggestions and inviting others to do the same.  And as I read through that particular thread I saw the "clique" kicking in.....almost an "lets ignore that and show her" attitude.
 
I will continue to do what I feel is in the best interest of the forum.  If you don't agree with my stance, have the courtesy to shoot me a PM or email and tell me why you don't agree nicely.  I'm very open to listening. I'm not terribly open to public attacks.
 
As for the "comment" about being right....the balance of the comment was something to the affect that JAIME's red ink was bigger than mine so that I couldn't make that claim.  When comments are taken out of context they can easily be maniupulated to appear "pompous".  Remember me?  I'm the self proclaimed expert on nothing....and yet someone actually BELIEVED that comment was anything but a joke??  I promise that I could go through and pull out comments made by everyone on this forum and make them look "bad".  But why would I do that?
 
TELL us what you want and need from us.  I am not the only one who feels under attack at times.  I am not the only one who feels like my editing is going to cause an issue.  The problem is, that no one can please everyone all the time and  some that WANT moderating feel we don't do enough, and some that don't scream foul when we do.
 
Ultimately, Kelly will decide what is and isn't enough, but SHARE with her, and with us, what you want from all of us instead of just griping.
 

Not only was that ignored, it was hotly disputed.

I guess we are MILES apart on what constitutes a HOT dispute.  []

what you want from all of us instead of just griping.

Fair enough.  I want to see consistency.  The thread in question, IMO, certainly didn't go off topic enough to warrant moderator intervention.  IT IS MY OPINION that, if I hadn't been involved in the discussion, it wouldn't have recived that intervention.

Edited for clarity.

OK, but see I had gotten emails about the thread in question.  As I said, some want more, some want less.
 
And gosh, I'm really sorry that you feel that way.  When I'm moderating I do my utmost to not have any friends or enemies.  But I will absolutely swear that your involvement had nothing to do with my intervention.

ORIGINAL: glenmar

OK, but see I had gotten emails about the thread in question.  As I said, some want more, some want less.

I don't understand this.  Why would someone go through the backdoor to express their opinion and then have someone else speak for them.  Its a contradiction in terms to forum. 

I was reading that thread at the time it was being created and I saw nothing wrong with the discussion or its tone from anyone including the moderation.  It did not appear to be a big issue thread to me.  All of the posts, including Glenmar's were civil.  But, I am not the best person to read the emotions that go along with the post so I may be wrong. 

It's not in any way a violation of forum rules for a member to express concern to a moderator about a particular thread that they see as going OT or getting hostile.  I encourage folks to let me know, since there is only ONE of me, and I can't always be on, nor can I always see everything.  Additionally, some members are a bit reluctant to get into the pool when it seems to be filled with sharks!  That's ok, that's what WE are here for, is to keep things reasonably on track and non-hostile.

Hi Glenmar,
 
I did not see anything volatile in that thread that would have raised concern.  Unless it was a clash of personalities and an attempt to control another#%92s postings.  And please forgive me but sometimes I don#%92t understand some of the relationships here because I see the same people cooperating and then not cooperating.  For me, I would not act strictly on email complaints.  I would take an independent detached look.  I would encourage the complainers to post their opinions on topic so if there are any distractions, they would be drowned out and made to see for what they are.

David, I did take an independent look at the thread, and in my OPINION it was circling the drain and totally off the original topic.  But, then again, after 4 years or so, I get weary of the same old food fights so maybe that colors my perceptions.  Everytime one of these things start the mental image is of grade school kids flinging food at one another......
 
But, I should likely stay out of this thread since the original intent was to point out the errors of MY ways.......

Hi Glenmar,
 
You can self moderate if you like or you can participate or not participate.  I personally like when you participate.  I think the whole point of this thread is not to point out errors but it is screaming that sometimes the rules of moderating are confusing.  When a moderator addresses a post, right away emotions come into play.  Am I being singled out?  Am I being picked on?  Why doesn't the moderator like me?  Does the moderator have a bias on the subject?  For me, those thoughts quickly pass in favor of the moderator's authority and the respect that should be given.  I think if your expressions are blocked then there are other ways to structure your posts to say the same thing. 

Honestly, sometimes they can be confusing for us as well.
 
I don't think even one of us WANTS to impede free speach, or play "cop" with the forum.  We all just want this forum to be a nice place to be more than anything else.  All of us mods have been around for a long time and sometimes we see the direction a thread is likely to go fast because we've seen it before.  I guess I'd rather stop something before it gets going really good than to try to put a bandaid on a hemorage........but, reactions like in the food thread sometimes cause me to rethink my position, and that can be frustrating in and of itself.  We are all individuals and we all see things a bit differently.  That's the bottom line.

personnally i think you are a great moderator, especially considering the boards that are assigned to you!! i don't ALWAYS agree with EVERY move you make as a moderator, but hey.. it's not a perfect world, right?
 
i do think that having an anonomous (sp?) login for moderators would be great. not that *I* mind. but since you said you tend to stay out of discussions more since you became a moderator and i for one have always appreciated your comments and advice, even before you started moderating (that must have happened, when i was away from the forum for a while, i guess [])
 
anyways, try not to take things too hard.. as you said.. can't always please everyone..
 
plus, this is not the real world, so free speech doesn't apply, in my point of view (although thankfully is usually tolerated). i think, it helps to remember that. yes, some members have been with this forum for a LONG time, but it still doesnt give them special rights on ignoring the forum rules..
 
oh well... i for one could never be a moderator...

Glenda... I have been here "forever"( year 2000 or something like that !!!) ... even if it 'says' I'm a puppy or whatever!!  LOL
 
You have always been great with your posts!
 
Whether you chose to ' post as a mod' or give your opinion as "Glenmar", " I" have always appreciated your input.
 
 

Thanks guys, that's really sweet.
 
And yeah, I do post less sometimes because there seems to be an awful lot of discussion regarding mods not being "part" of the forum and confusion over which of us we are posting as.....always figured I had more than one personality.....[]

ORIGINAL: glenmar
But I will absolutely swear that your involvement had nothing to do with my intervention.

 
While I might, from time to time, have a bit of a problem with your style of moderating, that is A LONG WAY from having a problem with you as a person.  I absolutely accept your explanation and I sit corrected.

ORIGINAL: glenmar

David, I did take an independent look at the thread, and in my OPINION it was circling the drain and totally off the original topic.  But, then again, after 4 years or so, I get weary of the same old food fights so maybe that colors my perceptions.  Everytime one of these things start the mental image is of grade school kids flinging food at one another......

But, I should likely stay out of this thread since the original intent was to point out the errors of MY ways.......

 
I think everyone has their own opinion on what is considered rude or volatile.  Being someone born and raised in an east coast metropolitan area, it takes a lot of harsh words for me to be offended or feel like I'm offending someone else.    Being overly sensitive and pussyfooting around a subject just doesn't cut it where I come from!  But people from other parts of the country or world might find rudeness in what I consider honestry or forwardness. 
 
And there is no dictionary term for Off Topic - so it is really up to a moderator's jurisdiction as to what that means.   But it's difficult for a thread to truly stay on topic - it goes against the natural ebb and flow of a normal conversation.  My expample of off-topic is this:  There is a forum about cats that I used to be involved with.  There were a lot of members who were very close with one another.  When an outside poster would start a topic and one of these members would post a reply, let's say it involved a specific situation about their cat, one of the other "clique" members would start posting directly to that member and it would become a conversation between those two members about a topic completely unrelated to that started by the OP.  That would annoy me to no end and that is what I would consider in need of moderation.  But, again, everyone has their own style and I understand it is a tough job indeed.

I just noticed this thread and read it start to finish. I think sometimes people have different ways of doing the same thing. I find that Gina and Jaime's style of moderating is perfect. They keep an emotional distance and are no nonsense, yet respectful at the same time. They also seem to have a good sense of when/what is appropriate to moderate. I think those things are the real key. I also think that people can be great forum members, but not too many are cut out for moderating.