Missing him

Billy's recent posts have been mostly sarcastic and sometimes flat-out hurtful, although they are always under the guise of a 'joke'. It's been quite awhile since I've seen him post anything particularly helpful. Mostly it's just been purposely-inflammatory quips; which ironically puts him into the troll category he so loathes. Not to mention the posting of the PM was quite immature.

The OP#%92s response was out-of-line, and they probably have no place here, but the initial attack on the OP was entirely uncalled for as well. It#%92s things like this holier-than-thou attitude around here that make me positively ashamed to be a part of this forum some days. Don't some people around here remember what it#%92s like to be a new or uneducated owner? Or to be young, immature, unstable and unsure about things? We#%92re supposed to be here to help, not to run off yet another person who we had a chance to educate.

ok here I am after work and all these posts.  this is what I have to say. 
1..I am bipolar with panic disorder and borderline personality disorder.  Which then leads to very angry comebacks when having remarks such as Troll thrown at me when I was just looking for input.  I am sorry for the harsh crap that came from me.  There was no call for it and I am an idiot for talking that way.  I should have ignored him and waited for proper responses.
 
2.  I moved to an apartment that had a no pet policy.  In my city, the vacancy rent is .7%, yes less than 1.  Therefore getting a pet in an apartment is impossible, especially one the size of tanktank.  I know he is happy where he is but it is just hard, I really miss him.
 
3.  Look, I'm not looking to internet fight with anyone or belittle anyone.  I just thought this forum would have been good to discuss this subject.  Thats all.
 
Once again I apologize for my rude and stupid pm comments.

WB Av....I hope you don't mind that I share this tip with you.
 
There is an "ignore" feature that I find useful. You simply click the icon under a post made by someone, and they will be invisible to you until you choose to make them visible again. I do this purposely at times to users here....it's MY way of not reading anything THEY post until I can think more clearly...lol!
 
I have a temper...nothing else more complicated just a plain old fashioned temper. I have in past said things that were just plain wrong. The ignore feature is useful to me to keep MYSELF in line.
 
You are a new person here so I thought I'd just let you know about the feature in case you didn't already know it was there []

I'm glad we didn't scare you off.  For what it's worth, under the circumstances, it's very likely that you did the best thing for your dog.  I do hope that you are able to visit now and then and still have a tiny part in his life.

I can understand you miss your dog, and you have every right to do that.. it's much the same as grieving. Even though in your heart you did what you feel is best for him, it doesn't make it hurt any less.
 
Sometimes things do happen. I recently rehomed 2 of my cats. It was not an easy decision, but made better knowing they are with my mom and they are happy being out from underneath the shadow of 6 other cats and 2 dogs in the house. Instead of hiding out in laundry baskets in my room or on top the cabinets, they are running all over my mom's house happy as can be.. I miss them like crazy, but I am so glad they are happy.
 
My friend recently rehomed her dog and it's tearing her up. When she got the dog she had a nice size yard for her to run in and was working from home. Now she left her husband, bought a very tiny house with no yard (all she could afford being a single mom of 4) and is working outside the home. Her dog is now living on a big farm and free to run wherever she chooses. The dog is very happy and my friend, although heartbroken, knows it was the better situation for her lab. I don't think any less of her for it.... it took her almost a year to finally make that choice after trying to make it work out.

I think it would be a good idea not to assume that someone is a Troll until they've posted enough times to prove that they are. If someone with a similar situation is lurking, hoping for advice, some of these responses would have scared them out of ever posting themselves.

Joyce

avesher, I'm glad that you came back and explained your rude PM.  The reason I responded the way I did was because we once lost a very valued member here due to someone's insensitive comments along those lines.  She now posts on another board but will not come here at all, and there are quite a few of us who still miss her. 
I understand your disability well, since I know someone who is bipolar, and have worked with bipolar people in my previous employment.  I know that your situation isn't always pleasant, but we appreciate if you try to let us know when you are not well, and we can try to be more tolerant.
As to the situation with your dog, most of us would have suggested that you not get a dog unless you had a stable living situation first, but apparently you have already learned this the hard way.  I'm sorry for you and the dog that you had to be parted.

Glad you came back, hope you stick around![]

I'm sorry but my uncle is Bi-polar. A very close uncle who is only a few years older so we grew up like brother and sister, so I know alot about his condition, and there is no way he would get away with saying the things you said to Billy just because he got upset. There is no excuse for it, it makes me sick to think of how cruel it was. And if you are Bi-polar, I suggest you get to your DR and have your meds checked because if something like being called a troll, sets you off, you need help. I am not being a smart @ss about this, I am serious.


I am shocked that you all are overlooking what the OP said in PM. Glenda, can you honestly say that you would over look what this person said if it was said to you?  We just had a post from you recently about someone who said some nasty's to you and we all supported you.

I could pull up many many post where someone posted a question, and the response they got was " Troll", "I smell Troll" and so on. There was someone that posted before and they were new and they were told   "Go AWAY!" We don't know if that person was a troll or not. How do we ever know? It could be a bored child at home, or an adult just trying to get a rise out of us or a serious person that knows no better. I am just really shocked here.
 
 
How about from now on, it's not allowed to call anyone a troll, or to tell them to go away. If you susspect that it is a troll, ignore the post.

CW, you made some really good points.
I also have noticed that things sway differently from day to day here.
My son is bi-polar and has had some anger issues before his meds were regulated. He has been through an anger management course and it has done wonders. I will say though that his anger was only directed at himself not at those around him. Counting to 5 can be a useful cool down tool.

I have a close family member who is bipolar as well.  And I've seen this embarrassing "man I wish I could crawl in a hole and die for being such an arse" behavior.  However, NO I am not defending the PM...it was ugly and hateful and shouldn't have been sent OR posted for our entertainment.
 
Yes, I did start a thread about ugly PM's.....and it was NOT so much because of the one that I had received as the ones that others were getting.  And I repeatedly made clear that I was MORE upset about the others than about my own vile missives.  I received yet another this weekend that I just quietly forwarded to Jaime to deal with.
 
For whatever reason, Billy jumped all over the OP and called him a troll on the first post.  I don't believe if you go back through the archives you'll find FIRST posts getting that response, unless they are muliple breed pups for sale.  He also made some rather rude cracks on a couple other threads, including the World Series one.....based on that, I'm thinking that Billy was having a bad day.
 
I asked that we try to stay on topic in this thread because it was pretty clear where it was heading.  But, I'll ask you as well...am I an evil, hateful person because I rehomed Sadie?  Sometimes we have to love our dogs enough to find something BETTER for them.  In my case, better for Sadie (now Trinity and the Queen of the castle) was to be in a home where she could be out from under Sheba's thumbs......it isn't ALWAYS black and white and it isn't always wrong to find another home for an animal who we dearly love.

ORIGINAL: glenmar

 Does that make me scum?

 
Keeping in mind that "scum" is YOUR word and not mine, no.
 
But I ask again, where is the outrage one would normally expect to see here when someone gets rid of a dog because of moving?  Should I dig up a post of yours where you said you would NEVER get rid of a dog for this reason?  Where you said you would live in your car before you got rid of one of your dogs because you had to move?
 
There are, to be sure, good reasons to rehome a dog, but moving is not one of them.  That is the overwhelming concensus of this board and one can easily see that with nothing more than a cursory look through the archives.  Has that changed?  Is it okay now to get rid of a dog because he doesn't match the new curtains as long as you feel bad about it?

But I ask again, where is the outrage one would normally expect to see here when someone gets rid of a dog because of moving? 
 
Billy....I already answered that. It's been lost in the drama that YOU created. That drama has resulted in people being uninterested in visiting or reading this thread beyond the first couple of posts.

Billy, I WOULD live in a car, or a cardboard box, but that's ME.
 
Is it fair to take an older dog from a country setting to live in a tiny apartment in a busy town when that dog CAN stay in the country in a loving home?  The OP also said that he works 6 days a week, so I guess we kind of have to look at things on a case by case basis and NOT judge based on what WE would do.
 
Rehoming Sadie was REALLY hard for me to do...and the only reasons she left were that Sheba is a bitch AND I knew the home she was going to would be wonderful for her.....and would let her be the dog she could be.  She's her Mom's running mate, shes getting to do some work in different field trials.....she has a wonderful life that I couldn't give her.
 
There was recently a poster talking about how she had had to leave her dog with her Mother, and has tried to bring the dog to live with her and he is NOT happy, and wants to go "home"....this poster felt enormous guilt about getting another dog because of the first who just flat does NOT want to live with her anymore.  We supported her.  I just think we need to give folks the benefit of the doubt before we start name calling.
 
Come to think of it....how happy would MY dogs be having to live in the car?  Sometimes we have to show just a little bit of compassion.

ORIGINAL: probe1957

But I ask again, where is the outrage one would normally expect to see here when someone gets rid of a dog because of moving?  Should I dig up a post of yours where you said you would NEVER get rid of a dog for this reason?  Where you said you would live in your car before you got rid of one of your dogs because you had to move?

There are, to be sure, good reasons to rehome a dog, but moving is not one of them.  That is the overwhelming concensus of this board and one can easily see that with nothing more than a cursory look through the archives.  Has that changed?  Is it okay now to get rid of a dog because he doesn't match the new curtains as long as you feel bad about it?

This isn't exactly a case of not matching the curtains. Stuff happens. I know, I've been there. It's easy to say you'd live in a tent before giving up your pets until you're actually in that situation. So you make the best decision for your situation. Whether or not a person should have a pet at an unstable time in their lives is beside the point, because they already have it, and they have to do what is best for it. The OP had a bully breed. Having one (and I know you've had them too Billy) I know they have an extreme energy level and would likely be absolutely miserable in an apartment setting with someone who worked six days a week. So, in this instance, the dog is probably better off, and I'm sure the owner does feel remorse for getting into the situation, but sometimes you do what you have to do, for yourself and anything dependant on you.