Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home ?

spiritdogs

I think I'd rather send parents here: http://www.tagteach.com/

Of course, if you don't like science, just push the kid down on the ground and hold him there.  If he resists or tries to kick you, helicopter him.  And, of course, don't let him go out the door ahead of dad, or eat before mom.  He will take over the house, including your new BMW.

 

 

Darn right... good science is just good science. Plus, I never had more fun falling on my butt than at the TAGTeach seminar I went to. I need to put together a project to present at a seminar so I can go again. 

griffinej5

spiritdogs

I think I'd rather send parents here: http://www.tagteach.com/

Of course, if you don't like science, just push the kid down on the ground and hold him there.  If he resists or tries to kick you, helicopter him.  And, of course, don't let him go out the door ahead of dad, or eat before mom.  He will take over the house, including your new BMW.

 

 

 

Darn right... good science is just good science. Plus, I never had more fun falling on my butt than at the TAGTeach seminar I went to. I need to put together a project to present at a seminar so I can go again. 

I like seeing programs like this. On the other side of this keyboard is a person with Asperger's. While i write about reinforcement and punishment from a scientific basis, i really only need to reach into my own experience  to work out most of the negative responses that punsihment can produce.

I grew up in one of the most beautiful countries on earth , New Zealand, which in my childhood was also one of the wealthiest countries of the world.  Underneath that wealth was and is a huge child violence problem and a really dour conformative attitude. We produced great sports teams like the All Blacks (Rugny Union) and the Black Magic crew who took the Americas Cup back home, but we definintely had an attitude that there was nothing wrong with a person that a good hiding or belting wouldn't fix. Well i still have Asperger's....(a kind of Autism). I took some wicked beatings and ostracism because of it. There is a reason why i have never in 14 years gone back to my home country.

Some of us dog training cynics reckon that it is almost a rite of passage that you have had a bit of a hard time :)

There are two mistakes that people make with Asperger's. The first is that i am some how intellectually sub normal... well i am most likely towards the opposite end.

The second is that anything i say may be taken with a grain of salt.. as i am a bit nuts. Yes i am a left field thinker but am higly regarded in my profession Because of it . There is no reason to believe that dog training is an exception.

PoodleOwned, it certainly isn't only children with Asperger's who suffer negative consequences from the kind of treatment you describe, although I find it particularly despicable that any kid with a disability would have had to put up with that.  Harshness is never necessary when raising children.  The only thing that parents really need is to love your kid, say what you mean, mean what you say (enforcing the rules can be done without violence) but don't BE mean.  Same with dogs.  There is a persistent myth that positive trainers are wimpy and permissive.  Nothing could be farther from the truth among those of us who are employing this method correctly.  The science supports us, and I have yet to find anyone who can post a link to a study that proves otherwise.  Why would AVSAB, one of the premier behavior societies in the United States, be filing position statements on its website that directly support us if there were not overwhelming scientific evidence in support of non-coercive training???  The fact that anyone would consider your disorder an indication that you lack intelligence is akin to the people I hear every day who say that there dog is stupid, stubborn, willful, dominant, etc. etc.  What I have found when I work with such dogs is that they are usually smart enough to have outwitted their ignorant owners, and certainly smart enough to learn once they understand what you are trying to tell them.  Many of them are either shut down or they are confused as he&&.  But, not stupid, stubborn or dominant.

While not as difficult to deal with for the person "afflicted", my youngest son is ADHD and gosh, he was a real life lesson. 

I grew up in the "spare the rod, spoil the child" era and swore I would not ever subject my own children to that, but when you have a child who is "different" it seems that nothing works.  What I finally found that worked best with my youngest was firm peramiters (sp), a regular routine, lots of praise and lots of LOVE.  It sounds simple, but living it is a whole lot different than talking about it.

The ex never altered his views of child rearing, and DS did horribly with him.  And ex never could understand why "paddling his butt" didn't work.  The "traditional" ways work even less well with a "different" child.